Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Out of our league

"Oh, he/she/they are totally out of my/our league"...

Typically I hate this phrase.

While I'm sure on some level it is true that there certain unwritten range of attractiveness people stick to. I'd like to think that we're all just here to have fun and not be so judgemental. The Hubs thinks I'm ridiculous on this, and will often state that he believes someone is out of our league. He points out that to others we are out of their league, so it all balances out.

Still, I usually roll my eyes at him and tell him to email the people anyway. Sometimes he does, sometimes he ignores me.

This brings us to last Friday when we got an email on our AFF profile. I had a feeling there was something good about the email when The Hubs started laughing as he read it on his phone. I assumed it was going to be some people-of-walmart type laughter. Instead he pulled up the computer and enlarged the images so I could take a look at a couple who had emailed us. You see, it was a couple we had seen at Eyz on one of our visits. And we had watched them on the dance floor and very much enjoyed the view. And they are totally, way out of our league.

So this begs the question... How in the world do you respond to that?

Do you say, "hey - we saw you at Eyz and yea, we'd love to meet up at Caliente but we think you're way out of our league". Do you ignore your instincts, go balls to the wall and let them reject you? But then when they see you at the club it's awkward.Or worse yet ignore them?? You know, sort of rejecting them before they can reject you? None of these seem like a great option to me.

I told The Hubs to respond with the honest approach. After all, anyway around that it's a compliment and would be taken the best way. It saves us the awkward Eyz approach but isn't an ass-bag move of ignoring the emails.

As an aside, this may be something we have to learn to do. We have had a secondary situation (well, I should say potential situation) and this couple is out of our league too. So how do you nicely tell someone that they're too pretty for you? Certainly not a problem I ever thought we'd have an issue with. I mean, I assume you'd pre-screen your own email recipients!

I guess we're going to have to figure out the best way to handle this... wish us luck.

The Wife

Tuesday, December 18, 2012


Recently I made a list of my thoughts and first impressions of our visit to Eyz. But to be honest, the biggest surprise of them all if how much/often The Hubs and I both want to go back, and keep going back. I can't say that I really thought that much about it beforehand, but I suppose I wouldn't have said it would become a regular thing. Yet, as we pulled out of the driveway after our first time we were already talking about going back. Well, let me rephrase that... I was talking about going back and The Hubs was grinning in agreement at his little slut wife! So when we had a babysitter unexpectedly for a second Saturday night in a row we made plans to go back to Eyz again!


Late in the week we started chatting with a new potential couple. The Newbies had never done any swinging at all yet had already been burned in the process. Because of this they didn't want to chat extensively until they were face to face. They wanted to meet on Saturday, but weren't sure about going to Eyz. The Hubs explained our experience and eventually they decided to go. We made it clear this was no more pressure just because we were in a sex-club, it was still just a meet & greet.

Saturday came and we headed over. I had my new slut shoes to try out after all! As we walked in the door across the bar a hand shot up into the air waving at us indicating they were The Newbies. We made our introductions and The Hubs made an alcohol run and we started getting to know them.

I give them both a LOT of credit for having the balls to come out to a club for a meet and greet but The Newbie Hub looked like he was about to puke at any moment from nerves. Poor guy, he wouldn't even make eye contact with me! We drank and talked and did what we could to pull them out of their shells. It was hard to talk to The Hubs about what our plan was, but we did find ourselves alone for a brief moment, this was our conversation:

The Hubs: "What do you think??"
The Wife: "They're not ready"
The Hubs: "HAHA I was thinking the SAME THING! So now what?"
The Wife: "Fuck if I know!"

They weren't ready for a few reasons but in the end it just boiled down to that they've never played before and they just weren't ready. The Hubs suggested (in my ear) that we go to a group room and that way we'd all just play together without playing with each other. Perfect.

We walked next door and decided to take a short walk around to see what everyone was showing us in the windows. To our surprise (read: disappointment) all of the curtains were closed! Bummer. Almost all of the rooms were occupied and no one was showing anything! We did get to see a little bit in the small bondage room. But there was a crowd so we headed for our destination, The Hedo room.

To get to The Hedo room you walk through Lovers' Lane, where there were a few hot couples in various positions doing various things. My favorite was Mrs. Claus (she was like naughty-librarian hot) blowing her husband. It was hot. Through the doors into the larger group room we went. The four of us found a corner with plenty of space. On one of the large circles beds were two couples already deep in to playtime. There were couples on the long beds along the back wall and more people were coming in behind us.

The Hubs came up behind me started kissing my neck as he pulled up my dress. I was already turned on by the group setting (Hello, another first!) and I knew he was too. Pretty soon he had thrown me down and was on his knees licking and sucking the cum out of me. I had my new slut shoes wrapped around his neck and would prop myself up to watch the hottness from time to time until I came on his face.

The Newbies played with each other next to us as the room filled up. The couches were now full of spectators and players. A few were watching us, and we were watching a few. I started sucking The Hubs cock as the foursome on the couch seemed to finish up, they were the largest group at play so they had been the main focus of a lot of couples. The Newbies decided to leave for a private room and it was about time for me to have some cock deep in me.

I took my dress off and got on my knees to I could look out and watch while The Hubs rammed me from behind. We had worked up quite the audience from what I could tell by the time I couldn't focus on them anymore ;) The Hot Blonde on the couch was enjoying the show, and I was enjoying that she was enjoying! I'm not quiet, but I tried my best not to be obnoxious because the room is shockingly quiet. Not awkward silence quiet, just there-should-be-more-noise-than-this-because-there-are-orgies-going-on-everywhere quiet. For our grand finale The Hubs blasted me full of his hot cum load.

We got ourselves together and watched the "shows" all the way out. As we exited a couple walked in with a rolling suitcase. No joke, I've taken smaller suitcases on weekend trips. I almost wanted to stay just to see what was going to come out of that!

The Wife

Monday, December 17, 2012

First Impressions

We had been trying to work up the balls to go to the swingers club for a while, so naturally we had built up ideas of what it might be like.  It has been fun discussing all of the first impressions The Hubs and I each had as we hit up Eyz for the first time.
Time: When we arrived it was fairly early by the club's standards. Little did we know that 9:30pm was "early". The crowd was decent, almost all of the tables in the main bar were occupied, but you could see the bar without a line and there was plenty of place to stand. By 10:30 it had picked up and the tables were all full, and there was barely anywhere to stand by the bar. We also apparently went over to the lodging side too early. It was about 11:15 when we left the bar and we were one of two couples at play. 
Space: I was initially surprised at how small the night-club bar area was. Until about two hours later when I realized there were two more rooms and bars attached if I walked around the corner. Then I was surprised at how huge it is! Not many couples in the other bars, made a mental note for when the bar out front had a long line.
Age: First of all I was surprised at the age range. There were very few people in their 30s, and even some in their 70's (No joke - this dude was 75 if a day) but the majority fell between 40 and 60. With an emphasis on the late 40-60... Ok, so the second age surprise was the crowd was older than I expected. When I say a few in their 30s I mean like maybe 6 total - including the two of us and The Travelers two. Not an ageist, I'm not saying I wasn't enjoying some of the people despite age. I'm just saying there were so few "younger" people there it was surprising. We wonder if Friday is a different crowd.
Buffet: Yep, there was a buffet. WHY???? I don't know, maybe it's just me but I just find that really odd. Eat dinner before hand people - then freshen up and come to the club.
Single Men: I knew that they have a whole different set of rules.  And I knew that they have to pay more just to walk in the door. But I didn't know that they have to be invited in to any room or they are stuck in the hallway. And that if the couple or single lady who invited them in leaves they have to leave too. I honestly didn't expect there to be very many. It seems like a big investment for a big potential of no tangible pay-off. The Hubs tells me that for a man, just watching maybe worth the cover charge. Maybe.
Friendliness: Don't get me wrong. The term "Meat-Market" explains it pretty well. Everyone looks you up and down, but overall I have been struck by how generally friendly everyone is. Sure some look creepy (there is one in every crowd, right?) and some aren't attractive/ted to you, but overall there wasn't anyone who was rude at all. Everyone is there for the same reason and no one makes you feel like shit for being there too.
Noise: More to come on this, but this last weekend on our second trip we played in The Hedo Room, which is a group room. I was amazed at how quiet it was in there while we were at play. I'm self-admittedly vocal during sex, but seriously it was really quiet in there especially for the amount of sex going on.
Cleanliness: I was afraid to ask this one, but luckily The Hubs had seen the signs that said each room was cleaned in between use. As in, some poor chick strips down the sheets and cleans up after every single fuck fest?? WOW. I really hope she gets paid well. But, I can't say I wasn't really glad to hear that. Especially after seeing some fountain squirters in my days (not a bad thing) just saying it wouldn't be sexy to play in there afterward without a clean up in between. I saw her this weekend on our way out and I almost hugged her for taking on such a job.
Attire: The range of dress code interpretation was from the extreme of almost entirely naked to jeans, loafers, mock turtle neck and knit sweater. Again, no joke. I opted for the little black dress look with slut shoes. The Hubs wore jeans and a button down long-sleeved shirt with the sleeves rolled up. There were men in suits. Women in lingerie. Women in sky-high heels and some in flip-flops. There was no right or wrong, again everyone just let everyone be who they were.
I'm sure there is more but these are a few for now. Coming up next in this series: Our second visit and play time in the Hedo room...
The Wife

Friday, December 14, 2012

Losing our Swingers-Club Virginity

I recently mentioned that The Hubs and I are getting back into the "swing" of things and this past weekend was shaping up to be an epic time meeting potential playmates. By Wednesday we appeared to be overbooked on Saturday and were starting to discuss who to push off. And then just as quickly as it came together they started going south.

One couple turned out to be a fake. Love that.
One couple got an unexpected visitor from the wife's cycle.
The last couple had posted on SLS that they wanted to go out finally indicated they just wanted to go bar hopping. Cool most of the time, but we were looking for some naughty fun.

Then The Hubs got into a conversation with someone on SLS about the Swingers Club Eyz Wide Shut. It gave him an idea and we started talking about the possibility of going. We were both Swingers-Club virgins and to tell you the truth 100% terrified of the unknown of it all.

What if someone I'm not attracted to wants to play? How do you politely say no? What if the place is jam-packed with old people?? What if I walk in and everyone thinks, "what is she doing here?" What if we see someone we know? What if, what if, what if what if.... We had a million of them. We'd thought about going one time before and ended up wimping out and we drove away. We had every reason not to go. We had a paid-babysitter (meaning the clock was cha-chinging with every hour instead of a free and overnight with a family member) it was a new sitter and cell phones aren't allowed. We could think of no practical reason to allow ourselves to go. But still... as we debated leaving dinner the seed had been planted and we both really wanted to go. Sure, it was scary but it was good scary and it was going to be fucking hot.

When you've been with the same partner for a while you start to run out of "firsts". And for the most part that is a great thing, but here after 16 years together we were having a first. I can't tell you how glad I was that I was there with him. I kept telling myself going into it that at least I wasn't a single girl, I knew I was going to fuck The Hubs anyone else would be gravy. Plus, he doesn't show his nerves - so he can walk through a room looking like he's uber confident while I trail behind him!

We got there and paid our fee. You have two options, you can buy admission to just the bar area or full-access to the bar and the lodging. (Lodging is where all the play happens)

We opted for full-access because, well... we weren't pussing out now! We made our way in and got our drinks and a seat. We started recognizing people from both SLS and AFF. We spent a while people-watching from the bar downstairs. Eventually we moved upstairs to a perch over the dance floor. When we got up there we found a couple we had emailed with briefly. They were only in town for the night from out of state and had asked about entertainment recommendations on a chat board. They made it clear on their profile they weren't into one-night stands so they weren't looking to play and had only paid for access to the bar. They were easy to talk to because we had no pressure. We were just hanging out.

The four of us decided to take a tour of the lodging side. For The Travelers it was their peak into the other side and for The Hubs and I it was a preview of what we were in for later. We walked next door and checked our cell phones in at the front desk. The Hubs led the way and Junior met us in a dark hallway. It was very quiet, and he took us around to show us the rooms and went over some of the rules for couples and single men. (PS - they're very different, more on that later) We walked through the group room called "Lover's Lane" there had to be 10 couches, 2 double beds, 3-4 sex-chair/loungers and plenty of floor space. Through LL was the Hedo room where we walked in as the only couple at play (it was still kind of early for that) was going at it. I couldn't see much of her except her legs were up in a trapeze looking contraption. She was getting fisted and squirting like a fountain. It was quite a welcome!

The tour ended and we went back to the bar. The crowd had picked up some in the time we were gone and our perfect watch-over-everyone spot was gone. We drank a little more and talked. And people-watched.

Eventually The Travelers said it was time for them to head back to their hotel and we were ready to play.

We went next door and re-checked in our phones and went in to explore. We were intending to head to Lovers Lane when the people walking out past us warned LL was "some really weird old people" so we diverted to a private room.

We left the curtain to the hallway open part-way so that if anyone wanted to watch they were welcome to. I was already turned on by the whole night and the excitement of being in the moment made for a soaking wet pussy when The Hubs went in tongue first. He was loving how wet and creamy I was for him already. When he went to town on me I lost it and came on his face. I sucked his cock from the end of the bed until he needed to be inside of me. On and off I had seen a guy in the window watching. At one point the door knob was tested (an club-etiquette faux pas) but I was getting a hard cock slammed into me so I didn't care!

After The Hubs filled me with his cum we started putting ourselves back together (we had a babysitter to come home to after all) and looked around and realized there weren't any towels in there. In both of the group rooms there had been stacks in cabinets in several places. Oh well, oozing the cum out it would be!

In a word, the night was perfect. There wasn't anything to make the experience negative, no pressure and a lot of fun. So many impressions, more questions, thoughts etc. So many blog posts to come on this subject.

What's really funny is we're already planning our next trip back, as in this weekend.

Uh oh, seems we've got a new hobby...

More to come!

The Wife

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Monogamy and the Swinger Marriage

Yes, kids it's true. Even in an a swinger relationships there will be bouts of monogamy. Some longer than others, some for good reasons and some for no reason at all. A while back I wondered about at what point I would consider it a change in swinger status. And now I sit realizing it's been almost a year since we've played with anyone.

How did we get to a year already?

It started with a negative experience. Let's just say The Uninterested Man was uninteresting and the experience left a bad taste in my mouth. (pun fully intended) So, with the holidays approaching I cooled it on the websites for a while. Pretty soon it was time to renew our memberships and I decided to just use the free version. Which ended up being annoying so I used it even less. Life events, vacations, missed dates, cold streak of potentials and a vicious cycle of excuses later here we are almost a whole year later.

Are we missing it? Sexually, no. I don't need others to fulfill my orgasmic needs. The Hubs can more than take care of that. But, for the adventurous side of each of us? Sure, I think we miss some parts of it. So, we're heading back into the scene and little more seriously.

It's a bit like being the new kid again, so until we get into the groove we'll be like gangley baby giraffes trying to find our legs (again). At least we're in it together and if I make a huge ass of myself I know he'll still fuck me... it's the little things :)

As long as you love the one you're with, a little monogamy (even in a swinger marriage) can be just as much fun.

The Wife

Thursday, November 15, 2012


* Note: This post has been coming for a while, but a string of recent events have this bubbling up. Notice I say string of events - no one event or person is to blame - so if you think I'm talking about you get over yourself.
Just me. I'm not perfect, and I've never claimed to be. You'll never see me considering myself part of the elite. I am a simple girl who likes to share her random slut humor. I have never lied about who or what I am. I've never claimed to have a perfect body or be the most attractive woman alive.
When I claim a picture is me it means it really is me. (The avi used for the blog is obviously not me and anytime I've been asked I've immediately acknowledged that fact) If you follow my tumblr or twitter account and think I'm a super-model perfect woman and come without flaws you are delusional.
I am real.
I am a real woman.
I can name more flaws about myself just off the top of my head than you could spot in an hour of looking at me naked.
That said... Fuck you and your elitist asshole attitude. I am not, was not and will not be embarrassed for being me. 
Recently I noticed a twitter bio that said she was "unapologetically real" and I thought ya know what, this is one of my favorite parts about the swing lifestyle - there is someone for everyone so no one feels the need to change to please others. In the swinging lifestyle you'll find all sorts of people. So why would I be embarrassed for being exactly who I am. Maybe I'm not a match for you, maybe you're not a match for me. Maybe we'll click but our spouses will absolutely despise each other. Who the fuck knows. And guess what - who the fuck cares.
In my real life I am the typical woman. Self-conscious, always trying to change flaws on the inside and out. I get it. But when I am Jane Smith, or InsertAFFprofilename, InsertSLSprofilename or SwingerWifeinFL I will not apologize for being exactly who I am and I will not be embarrassed for not being up to your standards.
Feel free to unfollow, stop reading or stop looking at the pics. I really don't care one way or the other.
Rant over.
The Wife

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

TMI Tuesday - The Long & Short of it

TMI Tuesday – The long and short of it
Thank you Erotic Adventures in Brisneyland for the following TMI Tuesday questions.

The LONG and the SHORT of it

1. What is the longest relationship you have been in?

Late October 2012 marked 16 years since The Hubs and I started dating. By far the longest (and best!) I've ever been in.

2. What is the shortest relationship you have been in?

Not counting one-time playmates? I "dated" a guy in high school for a week to the day. A few months later I met The Hubs.

3. How often do you have sex? How often do you want sex?

The Hubs and I have some sort of sexual contact at least once a day (under normal circumstances) I'm not trying to brag or anything, just honest. It's not always penetration, sometimes it's just oral for one or the other. Sometimes it's oral and penetration. Not saying there isn't the occasional night after life has worn us down that we pass out without even a kiss. Just saying the "norm" is a lot. Lol

4. How long does sex usually last?

Are we including foreplay? I'd say average 30-45 min. Sometimes longer, sometimes shorter. Just depends on how many positions, toys & props we are using!

5. Have you ever had an experience where someone couldn’t perform, finished too quickly or couldn’t keep up with you? Tell us about it?

Performance issues happen. Especially in a swing lifestyle that has nerves running rampant. I haven't had too many but I try to just put them at ease that Jane is a judgement-free slut. If they aren't hard yet I'll play longer. We'll get there... It's certainly NOT going to help if you are an asshole about it!

6. If you could only have one “type” of sexual encounter for the rest of your life, would you prefer

a) short and sweet
b) wham bam thank you ma’am
c) here for the long haul
d) slow and tender

I honestly don't really know how to answer this... I like a good hard fuck, so I'm drawn to the "wham bam" but if I had to pick one forever I also want The Hubs for "the long haul" so I guess I want a combo of b & c... After all I'm a swinger - we get to have both ;)

Bonus: Would you consider ending an otherwise healthy and loving relationship if the sex wasn’t what you wanted?

No. At least not if I felt he was worth it. "Good sex" is dependent on so many factors, I'd try to work on it together and figure out how to work past the issues holding the sex-life back from full potential.


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your blog, answer the questions there, then leave a comment on the tmituesdayblog so we’ll all know where to read your responses!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Halloween Party Redemption and A Bold Move.


This is the one and only picture I took of me in my costume this year. It's a bit fuzzy because it was taken from inside a ziploc baggie. It was a joke that I didn't go through with all night - a joke based on last year's fiasco. Let's just say the ladies were very much "on parade" as The Hubs would say. But - I successfully made it through the party with a dry and fully-functional phone. ;)

A Bold Move:
The party was somewhat lame. Ok, it was really lame. It was hosted by The Friend, but half of our group wasn't there because they were out of town and the other people at the party were friends of people we didn't know. We drank and eventually ended up outside with two friends and we passed the pipe a bit.

After a while outside with the pipe we all headed inside. The Hubs started playing beer pong and I got a text from The Friend.

"Let's go outside and play"

Assuming he was joking I joked back with him that I have permission, but I doubt he did. *Side note - keep in mind his girlfriend was there. As in unknowing girlfriend. Yea, yea I know - a girlfriend. Whole other post...* He replied that he didn't need it. I showed the text to The Hubs and asked if he was ok with me calling his bluff. He laughed and said sure. I headed out and waited.

And waited.

A few minutes and no show. I came back inside and laughed as he sat on the couch watching me walk back in. He was talking to a guy who had just arrived and the look on his face was priceless.

I got back to the beer pong as my phone went off again.

"Try again in 5 min"

Yea, right. So I said I'd follow him this time. A few minutes later I got a text that just said "now".

I went outside and what-the-fuck, no one was outside. So I waited and decided this was the last time I would do this. He was clearly too drunk. And let's face it, we've all discussed it and there was no chance he was going through with it. But then, what-do-ya-know the door opened and out he stepped.

Uh oh.

I literally thought, "holy shit, he showed???" and tried my best not to show the "holy fuck, what do I do now" feeling I was having. I honestly think I had been feeling brave never thinking he would show up. We've been at this serious he-knows-what-we-are flirtation for over a year, why would tonight be different?

Ok, I thought, time to put your proverbial money where your mouth is, Jane. I took a deep swig of  my Bacardi.

I was leaning on the house which was the most out-of-range view from the sliding glass door. (I was drunk and high so it seemed like the best place to be for a secret meeting) He walked over with a drunken sway and made his apologies for being stuck in conversation at the last attempt. He told me if I took a few steps back he was going to do "something" to me. In drunken arrogance I took myself all the way to the edge of the porch without leaving the concrete.

We drunkenly stumbled through conversation about his girlfriend, The Hubs, Me, Him. And soon I realized that his hand was up my dress on my ass. The look on his face was clearly waiting for my reaction. When I didn't push him away his hand stayed. He kept saying I needed to step around the corner, he wanted to fuck me. *Side note: two things - I didn't have permission to fuck him. I needed to discuss that with The Hubs before going that far. I have never played alone and I wasn't going to start when I was outside the door from an unknowing girlfriend  with other people I know and spend a lot of time with. Also, I was only off of my monthly cycle by about a day, and for me that is not in the clear for fucking. And I would almost rather die than start fucking someone and have that sort of incident. So, I knew that fucking was not happening.* I made the conscious decision to not go around the corner. I knew how drunk he and I both were and how much the tension has built up and I was not going to allow the alcohol put us in a situation we would regret.

I got a text from The Hubs giving a heads up that his girlfriend was showing people around the house and may head for the porch. The Friend thought this was the funniest thing ever. That my husband was actually watching out for me to be naughty. His hand, however still hadn't left my ass. That is, until it moved around to the front. I was still leaning on the wall and I wasn't going to let him go all the way in, so I held firm and he got a fingertip in the upper v of the pussy.

As if on cue, he pulled his hands away and started walking to the sliding door. As he reached the door I saw his girlfriend walk up. I knew she hadn't seen anything because I saw her make it to the door. He had seen her in plenty of time (almost like he knows what he's doing... hmmm...? lol) and walked over. She came out and he walked inside. I knew it looked bad, if she had any sense of the flirtation it would look really bad. So, I *smoothly*(it seemed smooth but I was drunk and high, there really is no telling) covered by saying I was just drinking too much and needed air. He had come out to check on me but suggested I needed more alcohol instead. (Totally believable if you know him) Apparently she bought it as then we discussed mundane things like how she wanted him to put a pool in his backyard.

Yep, just another pair of ladies chit-chatting it up.

I headed inside and The Hubs and I made our exit. I did my best to tell The Hubs every single word and move I could remember. He seemed OK with everything, as best I could tell while intoxicated. We got home and I took out my built-up horniness on his cock taking down everything he gave me and continuing - he actually had to ask me to stop after he'd cum! Shortly after, we fucked some more and I passed out.

I woke up to 10 text messages and a voice message from a missed call around 2 a.m. All of them had the same gist... he was still able to smell my pussy on his fingers and he was liking it. A lot. Also, that he was ready as soon as I was ready to fuck alone. (Whole. Other. Topic.) I just need to tell him when and where.

I can't lie and say that wasn't/isn't a turn on. I was no where near him, had denied him and he was still totally wanting me. I mean, it's someone who has built-up pure lust after you. It's hot. And even in {this}swinger life it is a rarity.

So what now?

Your guess is (almost) as good as mine. To be honest I can't get a 100% fix on how The Hubs feels about the idea. If I had to guess it's that he's torn between thinking it's a bad idea and not wanting to take a fanatsy away from me. And seriously, that is just the tip of the iceberg. The second biggest hitch is it means alone play. And I'm a total fucking lunatic when it comes to that. Sometimes I think it would be different because this is a friend I know and trust, but then I think all of the same reasons for my anxieties over playing alone don't change even with a friend. So, back to square one.

In talking with The Hubs we found that my perspective on the night was very different from him. He was, after all way more sober than I was. {Thank you, baby!} For instance, I thought I was outside for 10-15 min, turns out it was more like 20-30! Ooops. I've asked him to write about the party from his perspective, but I am not sure if I've convinced him yet.

In any case it was a bold move, that's for sure. What it will mean, I guess only time with tell.

The Wife

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Over the edge

Yesterday I was horny all day. Instead of taking care of myself I let it build all day, saving it up for The Hubs...

I knew what I wanted... To be filled and fucked. Hard.

I started with some hitachi rubbing while he lubed up a vibrating anal bead wand. In that went while my pussy creamed up knowing what was coming.

Pretty soon The Hubs slid his cock into my pussy and I started cumming all over him. Being filled and stretched and the hitachi on my clit, he barely had to move and I was cumming again and again.

I begged for him to be in my ass, so out came a dildo to replace his cock in my pussy. He lubed up a bit and more and slid in to my tight asshole. He started to fuck me harder and harder and holy fuckballs did I keep cumming. My holes tightening around his cock and the dildo leaving my cream all over it.

For a while afterward I lay in bed trying to regain my focus an ability to move! The Hubs jumped in the shower and after a while we were just relaxing in bed again.

I looked over and saw a big cock next to me and thought... Mmmmm...

The blow job was slow and deliberate. Taking my time licking and just enjoying his cock. After a while he asked if I wanted his load down my throat or in my pussy. Now, I was really sore, but really turned on all over again... So I said something naughty about taking my dirty (sore) pussy again - well, whatever I said was so hot it threw The Hubs over the edge and his load started blasting down my throat.


Anytime I say or do something that makes it impossible for The Hubs to hold back - seriously - HOT. It's a mix of feeling sexy, sexual and powerful. Kind of a sexual power trip. The look on his face, the sound in his voice... It says it all.

Mmm, I'm getting worked up just thinking about it!

Happy Tuesday ;)

The Wife

TMI Tuesday: Then & Now

TMI Tuesday – Then and Now

1. What one part of your sex life today would most surprise the 17 year old you?

Oh how young & naive I was... I'm actually not sure which would shock my 17-year-old-self more: the fact that I have willingly fucked other men in front of The Hubs. Or that I enjoy anal sex... I'm guessing my 17 self would have bulging eyes at a mere suggestion of either!!

2. What one thing might shock that younger you?

I think the only thing about my sex life that wouldn't shock my 17y-o-self is that I am still fucking The Hubs. Even at 17 I knew we'd be married but I sure as fuck didn't know anything else about our future life/lifestyle!

3. What part of the younger you’s (not necessarily at age 17) sex life do you look back on with the most nostalgia?

This is tough because at 17 (really until age 30) I was so uncomfortable in my own skin that I don't think I relaxed enough to fully enjoy everything. So while I can look back with some nostalgia at how young The Hubs and I were I think we've been a work in progress all these years!

4. Is there anything in the younger you’s sexual ambitions or fantasies you have not yet fulfilled?

Ha! Seriously I think at 16 or 17 I thought all sex was missionary and only between a husband & wife... I'd say all of those have been fulfilled and I moved on to fantasies I didn't even know I had!

Bonus: Give your 17 year old self a piece of sexual advice.

Chill the fuck out.

Enjoying sex with multiple partners and in varying scenarios is not wrong, it's fun and you shouldn't waste so many years of you life being so uptight! So lose the Granny-panties and go find your inner-slut! (I know she's in there!)

The Wife

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your blog, answer the questions there, then leave a comment on the tmituesdayblog so we’ll all know where to read your responses!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Booty Call

Sometimes you have to laugh at this lifestyle. Yesterday, I got a text for a blow job booty call from a previous playmate. I laughed at his ballsy-stupidity as I turned him down.

To explain I need to back up a few weeks. A playmate from about a year ago found me again on AFF and sent me an email. We started talking again and decided to set up a play-date. At the last minute he bailed, without explanation. Or phone call. Or text. As in he stood me up. Oh well, moving on.

Until yesterday, when I got a text testing the waters with a hello.

I took my opportunity to be nice. We got the pleasantries out of the way and I asked what happened. When he sent back a lame-o response I said the text book flirtation statement:

 Well, you'll just have to make it up to me next time ;)
To which he responded:

          I need a bj so bad

That was when I started laughing. Out loud.

It went downhill from there. Ending with him requesting that he come over for me to give him an (apparently) much needed blow job. Um, no. And this is why:

     1. A booty call can be great, if you're an established fuck buddy! He's not, he's only been over one time and that was a year ago. Then he didn't show up last time - what about this makes you think you can randomly request a booty call? Hmmm.

     2. A one sided booty call? Seriously? So basically you're saying you want to come to my house for me to blow you and get nothing from it. There is only one man I get enough pleasure from blowing that I don't need reciprocation and I married him many years ago. And he's not you!

     3. He knows I don't play alone. Which is probably why he thought he was safe just asking for a blow job but it's still skirting The Hubs, which is never cool.

Maybe I should just be flattered he still remembered my cock sucking skills after all this time.


The Wife.


Friday, October 12, 2012

What's in a {screen}name

We have all done it... You sit down to join a website and oh crap, what will my screen name be? Eventually you throw together a name and get started online.

Except, swinger sites are different. Typically you're anonymous so you don't use your standby favorites like JaneS123 or JSmith847. You'll want your name to be slightly memorable and give an indication I who you are and why we want to fuck you.

(I mean HairySweatyMan469 probably wouldn't get you too many hits. Just sayin...)

Why am I telling you this?

Well... Years ago when we were just barely talking about swinging The Hubs set up our AFF profile. We hadn't done any playing yet and the name he picked for us includes a certain description of me that he was oh so hopeful would be true. Problem is, it's not. And you can't change your screen name unless you start a new account and that is just annoying.

Oh well we thought. It's *just* a screen name...

I never realized the impact of it all until we got into the swing of things. Constantly we are having to explain that even though the name said one thing the profile clearly states otherwise. But, no one reads the profiles, they see the screen name and email.

Some people get mad, I've been called random things and "yelled" at for the contradiction. We laugh it off now, if you aren't bothering to read our profile you're probably not a good match for us anyway.

So take it from me and consider carefully before creating your screen name... Just a thought...

The Wife

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

TMI Tuesday - oh so random

Hey, hey, hey, hey…Time to get random again on TMI Tuesday. Why? Because it is fun to know random stuff about you; it can reveal a lot about your personality.

1. Tell us about your sluttiest act ever.

The first one that comes to mind was a night we went out to a club with our single female friend. The Hubs took turns touching, kissing & touching some more each of us in the dark club. It wasn't dark enough to be fully hidden from view and we weren't really trying to hide! The people around us definitely took notice and the looks on their faces was priceless.

Of course we went back to our house after to release the built-up tension!!

2. Have you ever played air-guitar. . .naked?

Have I ever done in fully-clothed? No to both.

3. To what song do you most like to play air-guitar either clothed or naked?

See #2, this is a dumb question,

4. Are you good in bed? Why?

Well, I don't think I can really accurately answer that. I'd say you'd have to talk to my partners to find that out. However, I did have a partner turn to The Hubs and say "she really does low sucking cock, huh?" So I take that as a sign of some enjoyment ;)

5. What FEELS Sexy to you–tactile sensation? (Leave sight and taste out of this)

Done to me? Kiss/Bite my back/shoulders/neck.

To do? I love just stroking a hard cock. One finger, play around just feel the pulsing.

Bonus: Write a six word autobiography.

Sarcastic slut living a good life.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

TMI Tuesday - Celebrity fuck-a-thon

1. Who is your closest celebrity look-alike? And, who do you think is sexier, you or the celeb?

Last week I was told I looked like Elisabeth Shue! Granted, this was on twitter and from my avi... So maybe in real life I don't look like her but that's the only celebrity I've ever been told I look like!

2. Who is the hottest male AND female celebrity you can think of? And, if the opportunity presented itself would you have sex with them?

See, what makes me have a celebrity "crush" isn't necessarily their "hot" factor. Example - my celebrity husband, Ben Affleck. Sure, he's not *the* hottest actor in town but he's always had a spot on my "crush" list. Ok... So hottest... Well I keep thinking of Ben & Matt Damon so now I'll just go ahead with them. And, um yea... I'd fuck both of them!

Hottest women... How long do you have?! I find so many of them pretty, so I'll go with a random The Hubs and I saw this weekend and both said "oh yea, she's hot" that would be Famke Jansen. Great body, slightly exotic and something about her makes me think she's a freak in bed. Now, I'm not bi-sexual, but I think I may have to try on her!

3. What celebrity do you fantasize about, but wouldn’t admit it to your friends?

Ha! Well... My friends & I are different. My BFF used to have a typed-out "top 10" list of her fav celeb men. Which we used to update together at work! So none of mine are a secret! Here are a few:

Ben, Matt, Josh, Aaron, Alexander, Mark....

4. Have you ever watched a leaked celebrity sex tape? Who was it or were they and what did you think? What would you have done differently if you were in the video with them?

Ya know, I actually haven't... But I would like to!

5. If you are in a relationship, is there anyone your partner knows that you have the ‘hots’ for and they give you the okay to be intimate with? Who would be there’s? (theirs perhaps?)

Before we were swingers we had celebs we were allowed to fuck "should-we-get-the-chance" style... Mine was of course the above list. The Hubs loves Jessica Biel, so she was always approved!

6. If you could have dinner with anyone in the world, who would you choose and what would you give them for dessert?

This is way too broad of a question... I think non-sexually Jennifer Garner and I would be BFF. (Hopefully swinging BFF though, as I'd like to fuck her husband...)

Any of the above mentioned celebs would be good for dinner - and dessert would be me, of course!

Bonus: If you were offered the million dollar indecent proposal, what would your answer be and why?

Duh! I'd like to watch The Hubs go to town on the celeb, but for a million dollars I can catch the highlight reel!

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your blog, answer the questions there, then leave a comment on the tmituesdayblog so we’ll all know where to read your responses!

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Sharing a married woman

I just got an email on AFF that at first glance looked promising - in that there were quite a few thoughts included. (Sad isn't it that just by being a long email I think it could be promising?!) But then I started to read it. Phrases started to pop out at me like "I'm looking for a partner" and "Someone to love me"...

Wait.... Love you??

Um, what part of I'm married makes you think that I'm going to be the one to love you. I get that The Hubs and I have an unconventional marriage but let me get this point straight - he's the only one I love.


This exchange made me think of a time a man said to me in an email that he couldn't wait to "share me with The Hubs". That along with a few other things was his demise. From that statement and others made The Dude was making it more about him allowing The Hubs to join vs. The Hubs sharing me with The Dude.

Not cool The Dude, not cool.

It may seem like semantics to you, but in the world of swinging and dealing with single men respect for your spouse is almost more important than anything else. If The Hubs is uncomfortable I'm not going to be having any fun because I'll be worrying about him. And if you're not having fun then what the fuck is the point?

So dudes, realize that her husband or boyfriend is sharing her with you for fun. No strings attached sex. You know, the stuff you all say you want. It really is true that there are women out there who consider love and sex to be completely separate. So just enjoy and don't fuck it up before you even get the pussy!

And Pro Tip:  No one is looking for love on a Swinger website, go to eHarmony or, not AFF. That's just stupidity.

The Wife

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

TMI Tuesday - Cum

TMI Tuesday
This week’s TMI Tuesday questions come from the wacky, inventive, and sexually creative mind of the late phoenix.

Cum, are you a fan?
1. We are all incurable sex addicts, but name one thing—a job, a passion, a creative outlet, a collection—of yours you use as a replacement, a distraction from constantly thinking about sex 24/7.

I love sex, but I don't consider myself an addict! There is never a dull moment when you have kid(s) and I work full-time so I'd say that pretty well takes care of it!

2. Have you ever loved somebody so much you thought having sex with them would actually sully the pristine purity of that love?

I think this question means "lust" rather than love. At least I really hope it does and I'm taking it that way... I've only loved one man, and I married him and we fuck constantly so, not keeping that one "pristine"!

Now, in lust? Yes, but not really by my choice as I'm sure you could count The Friend as this kind of unrequited lust.

3. If you could make love to yourself, would you? Describe this experience in full detail.

This is a dumb question!! I guess I'd be fucking myself hard until I begged myself to stop :)

4. Cum, are you a fan? Explain and expound.

I'm a big fan! Love to be covered in my partner's load, and the more the merrier.

5. Does it creep you out to know that God is watching you as you’re fucking?

It probably would if I stopped to think about it that way! I choose to think that God is like my dog, and gives us privacy by sitting outside my bedroom door while The Hubs makes me scream :)

Bonus: Tell us something sexy that happened to you this week.

I got a whole lotta nothing for this one... Oh wait, The Hubs has started going commando quite frequently. I love it!


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your blog, answer the questions there, then leave a comment on the tmituesdayblog so we’ll all know where to read your responses!

The Wife

Thursday, August 23, 2012


I have a little to say about a few things, so here are some snippets from The Wife.


The Hubs and I were in Dallas, TX a few weeks ago. We went out for The Hubs business, so he was in meetings most of the time but overall it was fun. It was HOT and we spent a few hours at the pool frying ourselves. Apparently we didn't take our own sun-knowing Floridian advice and sat out in the hottest part of the day with zero sunscreen.

I know, it was brilliance. And the below picture was my reward for the stupidity.


There are big possibilities on the horizon for The Hubs and I. It could mean a move to a new state. At first when I was told about it I almost threw up. I don't like change very well, and I've lived in the same city in Florida my entire life. My family is here and The Hubs family is close. I had fully implanted in my brain that we'd live here forever, and now this...oy.

After the initial freak out was over I've been able to come to a peace about the unknown. In the end all that really matters is that I'm with The Hubs and our family. It could mean Alaska and 24/7 darkness and we'll get through it. I know, cheesy right?? But it's the whole-hearted truth. There will be obstacles and adjustments but if it happens we'll figure it out.

Some days it seems like its a for-sure thing. Other days it doesn't seem like it's even in the maybe category, so who knows what/if/when there will be any real plans made. In the meantime I get to enjoy the fun side of a potential move - looking at all the gorgeous houses and day-dreaming of possibilities. And just think of the new swing opportunities in starting over in a new state!


Sometimes I think about texting or emailing Friendly McFrienderton to see if he is still reading my twitter/blog. This is mostly driven by my curiosity of if he is still watching. But I would be full of shit if I didn't admit that I am also curious if he sees me differently now.

All of it is curiosity, as I don't really think he judges me (sure hope not, I've known him a long time!) but I think it's also partly due to my exhibitionist side. Let's face it, the whole private twitter account didn't last long because the exhibitionist in me wasn't satisfied by the closed-nature of it. Clearly I like an audience and I also love the two-natured side of my life. I enjoy being a sweet Mommy & Wife on the outside and a dirty-thinking slut on the inside. So, the fact that he knows me first as the goodie-two-shoes but has discovered the "bad" side of me is kind of a turn on.

In the end each time I have this random thought I decide to leave him alone. If he wanted to talk to me he knows where to find me. And what if I text him and he's with his girl? I can't imagine that going too well for him and I'm not really all that keen on being a destructive force in relationships! So, I guess I'll just let my curiosity stew on that one.

Then there is The Friend... We haven't talked much. Summer is a scattered time with family vacations etc, but I've also taken a step back.


Because The Hubs said something to me that made me think about the situation. It was shortly after the "I'd have already fucked you if I didn't think it'd mess up my friendship with Lorenzo" conversation. We were talking about The Friend is never going to man-up for playtime and how I found that highly annoying. (lol) We all agree that no one would want anything to ruin our friendship and The Hubs then asked me to back-off with the drunk texts. If you think about it (he reminded me) The Friend has not acted on any of the opportunities that he'd been given, and wasn't that really answer enough?

Man, I hate when he is the voice of reason! So I've backed off. Not drunk texting him and I'll behave next time we see him too. Boo - being good is no fun.

Other Swingers:

Naughty-Twitter has given me a glimpse into the private lives of swingers all over the world. And even though I am always standing on my soap box saying how there is no right and wrong sometimes I look at them and think, hmm that's fucked up!

To each his own!

The Wife

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

TMI Tuesday - Painful Pleasure

1. Which do you enjoy more in bed, pain or pleasure?

I like a mix. I'm definitely a wimp with pain but there are some things that The Hubs knows gets me hotter. The real stickler for me, only The Hubs can hurt me - any playmates need to be nice... Well, mostly nice ;)

2. Do you like being tickled during sex? Where?

Uh, no. Tickles are laugh inducing and orgasm is no laughing matter!

3. Have you ever used feathers during sex?

I think we have used some before but as you can see it didn't make a great impression!

4. Do you like to be blindfolded during sex? Why?

On occasion, but mostly we use the blindfold for foreplay - making me have no idea what's coming next.

5. Have you ever used cold or heat as part of your sex play? What provided the cold or heat?

Ice cubes have certainly been used by both The Hubs and myself. I found it distracting when done to me, but enjoyed using it on The Hubs. As for heat - On a few occasions (maybe 2-3) The Hubs has poured hot wax on my nipple... Very, very rare but overall it was a good experience.

6. Do you enjoy being spanked, giving spankings, or both?

I love to spank and squeeze The Hubs ass. It's something I just recently told him that I don't get to do enough! Lol

I get spanked a lot (I'm often naughty!) and love when The Hubs man-handles my ass. Don't know why, just makes me feel sexy.

7. Do you have a safeword? Have you ever used it?

Ha! Yes, we do. The first time we ever tried anything I pulled out the safeword way too fast having no idea how it would immediately shut The Hubs down. I expected him to stop what he was doing and we would talk about whatever I was stopping. Uh, no. He is the kind of guy that no means no. So to have the safeword used he shut off his sexual system. (it was actually quite impressive to see)

Now we have a safeword for when I'm reaching the breaking point and one for stop now.

Bonus: Tell us in 3-4 sentences the most painful or pleasurable sexual experience you have had.

You'll have to read my post for that kind of story...

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your blog, answer the questions there, then leave a comment on the tmituesdayblog so we’ll all know where to read your responses!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

TMI Tuesday... What's the question?

We have provided the answer, now you provide the question. For example:

Answer (given): 28 marbles. Question (you the blogger create): How many did she fit in her vagina?

1. Answer: My butt. Now you write the question for each answer given.

Question: What is The Hubs favorite feature about me?

2. Answer: stiletto black leather pumps

Question: What accessory says "Let's Fuck" no matter how tame the outfit?

3. Answer: hard and stiff

Question: How I take cock

4. Answer: “By George I think he’s got it!”

Question: The thought when a new playmate finally finds his groove.

5. Answer: socks

Question: What is the least sexiest accessory. Ever.

6. Answer: hole in the wall

Question: What is a gateway to the unknown?

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your blog, answer the questions there, then leave a comment on the tmituesdayblog so we’ll all know where to read your responses!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

TMI Tuesday

TMI Tuesday: July 3, 2012

1. Have you ever shared sleeping accommodations with someone of the opposite sex without anything steamy happening?

The Hubs and I travel with our friends often, and frequently share hotel rooms with The BFF and her husband. Although the usual "joke" (between The Hubs and me) is that each time we do will be "the time" we all finally hook up... Maybe someday but I highly doubt it!

2. Have you ever streaked, flashed, or otherwise partially or totally exposed yourself in public before (or after) an informal, unofficial gathering of people?

I spent a weekend in New Orleans (sharing a room with the above mentioned couple!) for my 30th birthday. Enough said.

Plus, we all know The Wife can't keep her boobs covered... Last Christmas at a dinner party (of 3 other BFF couples) I decided my right boob needed some air and decided to just let it hang out for a while. Ahhh, wine...

Pretty safe to say this is a yes. :)

3. Have you had dates with multiple people in the same weekend (or consecutive nights or the same night) while not all of your dates were aware of your actions?

Never done that! Wanna help change that? ;)

4. What is the most “romantic” you have ever gotten in a movie theater?

The Hubs and I have fooled around plenty in movies. No vaginal sex but I've given a few BJ's in my time!

5. Have you ever had sex when you knew a non-participating adult was watching?

Not yet! Usually everyone joins in!

The Wife

Saturday, June 30, 2012

Nobility sucks

Recently in a (very) drunk text The Friend admitted that if he didn't think it would hurt his friendship with The Hubs then he would have fucked me long ago already.

My first thought was "seriously how much more do you need to know that he's ok with it??!"

You see last weekend at my birthday drink-a-thon The Hubs personally told The Friend that if he had not brought his girl that night he was going to send me home with him. (something we've never done before - whole other topic)

When I reminded him of this fact he said oh, he was just kidding.

I literally laughed out loud. I respect his true friendship and nobility. Truly, I do. But, it's more than that. It's also that he still doesn't really think The Hubs could possibly be ok with it. For a split second I thought "he needs to see naughty twitter (without actually giving my name of course) or send him to the AFF site. Give him a glimpse of the swinger community. Maybe the he would understand how The Hubs could consider sharing me with him. But then I realized that's just crazy. He has to figure this situation out in his head on his own. If he isn't totally comfortable that The Hubs is cool it would be an uncomfortable if we ever did play.

He will either eventually balls up or it will be a never itch that never gets scratched.

The Wife

Friday, June 29, 2012

Formspring Friday... First Orgasm

Formspring Friday: First Orgasm

How and when did you first orgasm and what was it like?

The Hubs and I began having sex when I was only 16, so as you can imagine most of our time together was quiet and quick to not get caught. So when we got an opportunity one weekend to get a hotel room an hour away from my parents I knew we were in for a good time.

I didn't know how good though...

We spent the weekend fucking. And for the first time I could be as loud as I wanted (or needed) to be. And with this weekend, loud-cummer Jane was born.

It felt like my entire body was exploding and my screams of pleasure were a direct result of my entire body explosion.

It was amazing and even though so, so many more orgasms have followed The Hubs and I both remember the fun of the weekend at the Holiday Inn!

The Wife

A new outfit

I graduated with honors...

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Birthday Drunkeness

Friday night we went out drinking for my birthday. By drinking I mean, The Wife got drunk. Super drunk. I have no idea how many drinks I had but I was drinking rum and it was going down smooth. It was the perfect recipe for a happy hour; a seat at the bar under the air condition, good friends and an attentive bartender. I was sitting the entire time, so I wasn't feeling the immediate impact of the liquor, but it was certainly building...

That much alcohol usually leads to memory loss, and this night was certainly no different. I remember leaving the bar, then I'm at home and the next thing I knew it was morning. I have flashes of memory from the night, including a mysterious goodbye with The Friend's girl. I only remember the surprised look on her face. I have no idea what I said to her. I can only hope it wasn't "Hey, I've been wanting to bang your man for a while now" I am left to hope that since she hasn't clawed my eyes out yet I'm in the clear. For all I rambled incoherently... I hope...

Then there was the texting...

Drunk texting is a perfect technological update to drunk dialing... Because when you're super drunk, and don't remember any of what you said - you have a complete account of everything. Yep. I even took pictures that I don't remember taking. Luckily I passed out before I posed or sent them to anyone! Below is an actual with my BFF . Clearly I had no idea what I was talking about!

But my personal favorite were the gem tweets that I sent out... By the way, you should know I thought to myself before I checked twitter - "Oh, I passed out before even tweeting anything last night, I bet they're going to tease me about passing out before even being able to drunk tweet"... little did I know that this is what I had sent....

 and this...

What can I say? I was having a good night.
Best part of it?

I woke up feeling totally fine the next day. I give my Grandfather credit for passing along fine Irish genes for holding liquor. But really, I always want to high five my body for a job well done too.

The Wife

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Sex Laws

I saw this link and thought it was too good not to share!

America's top ten strangest sex laws:

1. Oral sex is illegal in 18 states, including Arizona.
2. In Virginia, it is illegal to have sex with the lights on.
3. It is illegal for husbands in Willowdale, Oregon, to talk dirty during intercourse.
4. Sexual intercourse between unmarried couples is illegal in Georgia.
5. Engaging in any sexual position other than missionary is illegal in Washington, DC.
6. In Connorsville, Wisconsin, it is illegal for a man to shoot off a gun when his female partner is having an orgasm.
7. In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, it is illegal to have sex with a truck driver inside a toll booth.
8. Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal in Florida.
9. It is illegal in Utah to marry your first cousin before the age of 65.
10. Sex with animals is perfectly legal for men in Washington state, as long as the animal weighs less than 40 pounds.


Monday, June 18, 2012

Question & Answer

This is a sticky situation...


We recently met another couple at a lifestyle club. We haven't played with them together, but we have played with the hub in a MMMFF situation, and I have played with him in one-on-one situation (with the blessing of BOTH spouses). During our one-on-one, they hung out together at the club and talked. Since it was our first full separate room swap, she spent the time reassuring him- telling him how much I loved him and how I wouldn't leave him. She and I have always been very friendly and have even talked about doing girlfriend stuff together (mains-pedis, etc). Before we started doing full swap, she even offered me advice on jealousy. We have even gone out to dinner and a show (no sex!) with the couple- that was the last time we saw them until this weekend at the club. I never am flirty until he is, and when we all went out together I kept my hands on my own husband (not hers!). It seemed everything went well and we received a friendly text the next day saying they had a great time (from her). However, this weekend when we saw them at the club, she was very cold and he told me that she was feeling that I was falling in love with him. There is absolutely nothing inappropriate going on on my part- I love my husband and have for the past 10 years! Our intimacy and sex life has been enhanced by this experience. However, I don't know how to handle this situation. I do know that they played with a past couple where the female became clingy- but I only have her contact info. I don't even have any way to contact him other than when we see each other at the club. I am completely confused by where this came from, and a little heartbroken. While I enjoy having sex and flirting with him, I really like her and value her friendship. We want to keep this couple around- we like them on other levels besides sex- and I don't want to lose a playmate over a concern that doesn't exist.
How can I handle this situation? How would you handle this situation?


Keeping in mind this is just an opinion from one Swinger Wife to another, and I'm sorry to say but I don't think this relationship is going to work out for you guys. To me, it sounds like it's possible that you could salvage a friendship with them but that is iffy.

For whatever reason that woman has started to doubt the situation, and in my experiences once someone isn't 100% comfortable it turns to shit. She very well may be a total loon - but as you can imagine once we wives have something in our heads it is so difficult to get it out. Any flirtation will be amplified in her brain and since you're the outsider you'll be blamed even if it is blatantly her husband's doing.

We had an experience with an uncomfortable wife a few months ago. It started out great, with all four of us getting along both vanilla and heavy flirtation. But before we could play she turned cold. We thought she was just shy and kept rolling with the relationship. The first time we played it became obvious that she was uncomfortable with his attraction to me. It didn't help that he was a total moron and thought he should whisper something to me during our playtime. (I was like HUH!?!)  All she saw was him whispering in my ear and you can imagine the jealousy that followed.

She was pretty much an Ice Princess to me from then on. Only warming up about 1/2 way with The Hubs when we played one final time. We cut off communication shortly afterward and I can't say that I've missed them after the way it ended.

Tread lightly, but I think that's a wrap on that one.

Good luck!

The Wife

Monday, June 4, 2012

The Rules and General Practices

This image seemed to work even for my naughty rules!

They're everywhere aren't they? Seems everywhere you look someone is imposing a new rule. While being given a set of rules doesn't sound like something that is fun in the swing lifestyle for us it's key.

The Hubs and I have a set of rules that we have long ago agreed upon together. Don't go thinking we're all high maintenance and all that, it's only three rules and one of them is that condoms are a must. (I think I've rambled on the condom debate once before...) The Rules are in place so that both The Hubs and I know we are within the boundaries that we have set together. This means no matter what the situation (even if we stray from our "norms" like playing alone instead of same room) we know these limits are in place and it's one less thing to worry about and we can focus on the fun of the event(s).

Everyone is comfortable with different things, and if you've never been in the "I-wonder-if-my-spouse-is-ok-with-this" or "fuck-I-know-that-look" situation you probably agree with me that worrying about what is or isn't OK with your spouse is not the most sexy feeling in the world. Plus, if you've talked about this with your potential playmates before you get together to play there is less guess work and more time for fun.

Of course, where there are rules there will be an asshole who will break them. Our first MFM experience was many years ago. It was our first and last for a very long time because our playmate felt he didn't need to follow the rule (at that time it was just ONE!). He was "asked to leave" (read: thrown out on his ass) and dressed himself on our front porch. 


As for General Practices these aren't hard & fast, just what we're used to. For example, we're full swap, same room. It's all we've ever done and what we prefer - but we are open to possibilities. It's not a rule, hard and fast but just what we do the most. Would we do separate room, possibly. Would we do soft swap, possibly. (although so far I think it's a waste of time) But my three rules won't change if I was in a new situation/experience.

For us, it works. Maybe there are couples that have no rules at all and anything goes. That's cool for you, it's not what works for us, but as with so many things in this lifestyle it's all about personal boundaries.

What about you, any rule lists shorter or longer than mine? What crosses the line for you and your spouse?

The Wife

Friday, June 1, 2012

First Impressions are everything...

Last week I got an email on our AFF account asking me if I wanted to text with this guy. I explained that we don't normally text at first, that usually we use instant messenger or emails to get to know each other before. (Because, let's face it - it's a lot easier to delete someone out of your life when they don't have your phone number)

But - I said, oh well I'm getting drunk tonight so we'll see if I can make an exception, send me your phone number. He responded right away and The Hubs and I went off to drink with friends...Fast forward to 10 pm - only 4 hours after HE sent ME his phone number asking me to text him. (keep remembering that part) So I was drunk (I know, you're shocked) so I text him.

No response...

No response..At this point I'm pretty amazed, but think oh well, I guess I've gotten my answer about this guy!

 3 days later I get a response. As you can see from the above picture it was a totally ridiculous answer. I didn't respond. And yes, you've missed your "opertunity" because if you don't have the respect for me in the first conversation we have (or attempt to have) then you're not going to work out and I'm going to save myself the headache!

Remember, you never get a second chance at a first impression...

The Wife

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Naughty girls must be punished

Nipple Binding

Today is a perfect example of why you should stay open minded to trying new things. The Hubs and I were talking this morning about my curious post and he mention nipple binding.

What. Is. That? I said. And straight to google I went.

And then of course I had to try it when The Hubs got home at lunch time. I never realized how my nipples were so lacking in sensitivity until after I took the bands off. My nips were signing with a buzzing tingle for a long while afterward. And I liked it...

So that my friends is why you try new things. From "What is that" to "I'm a fan" in no time at all! And how would I have known?

Here are some pics for you guys... Enjoy!

The Wife

Thursday, May 24, 2012


I grew up in a family that didn't talk about sex openly. I think I was 25 before I could say "penis" without feeling guilty in some way. So needless to say, I didn't do a whole lot of experimenting until The Hubs and I branched out together. After hearing this I don't think it's that big of a surprise that I've never been big on BDSM lifestyle. Sure, The Hubs will tie me up and do some light bondage type play, but I'm basically a big ole' wimp when it comes to pain.

Then I picked up the book Fifty Shades of Grey. I'd heard from so many people and news outlets that it was good. But I'm not into BDSM, I thought. I wonder if I'll like it, I pondered. And then I started reading...Pretty quickly I found myself squirming at the descriptions of Christian and Ana and their sexual adventures. The Hubs joked that he could see me getting more and more turned on by the page. To be honest, I could feel how turned on I was by my dripping wet pussy getting wetter by the paragraph. I had to ask myself, why is this so hot to me? (Well, besides the mental image of the delicious Christian Grey?) And if it's so hot, why don't I try it in real life?  I have no doubt that there are things that I don't even know exist. I'm not necessarily saying that I'd like to try them all, but as I have many times - I question - how do I know if I like it, if I've never tried it?

I'm not saying I'm going hard core. I mean, hello - I'm still a big wimp. But, remembering nights like this  I can't help but wonder if maybe it wouldn't be fun to try more.  The good thing is that I have a husband that I trust to experiment with and who knows my limits. I've seen his lightening fast reaction to a safeword and most importantly, I trust him. Once a potential playmate told us she coulnd't play with her husband in that way, because she knew he could never really hurt her. For me, knowing The Hubs won't take it too far is what makes the pleasure possible. That, and knowing I'm pleasuring him. I admit it, being his little slut is a huge turn on for me.

So who knows, maybe The Wife will have a Fifty Shades summer of sexploration... I'll keep you posted if I do...

Thursday, May 17, 2012

A very unswinger site

Recently I was sent a link to a sex website this week from my very vanilla friend. I was curious from the start - this was a sex site coming from a friend who says her husband would never "do anal to" her. Yes, that's right, "he's researched it online he says, but I don't think he'd ever really do that to me". (I still laugh just thinking about that conversation!)

Then I followed the link... To a religious site for married ladies talking about the joys of monogamous married sex....

There was a blog about monogamy. Bulletin boards talking about if sex toys were OK in the eyes of God. Q&A boards about husbands that watch porn, and what lingerie is acceptable on the path to Heaven. The religious side of sex, all bundled in a website.

My reaction and curiosity to this site is what I imagine my friend's reaction would be to a blog like mine; curious disbelief.

Don't get me wrong, I love sex with The Hubs, makes me wet just thinking about it - but... me, on this website?

Hahahahaha, I'm afraid I'll burst into flames!

I guess it's safe to say she is clueless about our lifestyle.

The Wife

PS - I'm not giving out the website out of respect for the ladies who find it genuinely useful. I'm sure it is very helpful to its demographic, that just isn't me!

Friday, April 27, 2012

Mobile blogger

I'm trying out my new mobile blogger app so here are my boobs...enjoy ;)

The Wife

Question & Answer


What's happening with Friendly McFrienderton now that he knows about you? Will there be a hook up?


This is a complicated answer... Really, it's a complicated question. You have to break it down.

First, would he?

Let's start with it is highly possible that he would have no interest in a play date. Just because you find out someone fucks other people doesn't always mean that will turn you on. Also he has a special someone and since he is not a swinger the odds of him having permission to bang a married chick is kinda slim!

Which brings us to the second part of the question... Would I?

Short answer: Yes and no.

Yes in that if nothing else was a factor. But life is complicated and when you care about someone as a friend you don't actively try and hurt them. And wouldn't that be what I was doing?

So he'll be added to my yes but no list with The BFF's Hubs.


The Wife

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Exit Strategy

The initial conversation with potential playmates is filled with unknowns

Will they be awesome or will this fizzle? 

Will they become our newest go-to playmate?

Or will they be better suited for a one night stand? 

Most of the time you go into the conversations blindly, since people on swinger websites like AFF and SLS have their faces blurred or cropped out to protect their identity. The Hubs and I are no exception. We have no face pictures on our profiles that aren't edited beyond recognition. So the conversations almost always start out the same...Introductions, small talk, picture exchange etc.

If there is potential the conversations go from there, but the real problem lies when you realize it is a dead end. Sometimes it's when you open the first picture (we've all been on both sides of that one) other times it's after talking a long time you just realize there is no connection/attraction. We chat with potentials online for a while before meeting in person for a drink. The main reason we do that is because of that awful awkward uh oh moment when you realize you really don't like these people. Well, that's a whole lot easier online than in person. I feel bad, but at the same time don't want to take one for the team to avoid hurting any one's feelings. So when you're online, talking to a perfect stranger and you realize this is a waste of your time what do you do?

You could be honest. Generally speaking I'd say honesty is the best policy. Of course, I'm talking about nice honesty, but really is there any nice way of saying you're not attracted to them? No matter how gently it's put it will always be a sting to the recipient. The most memorable honest route was with a couple we chatted with. They were both very nice and not bad looking, but for me there just wasn't any sexual attraction. I decided to be honest and very nicely told him that I didn't think this was going to work out. He didn't take it so nicely.

He wasn't outwardly pissy, but it was pretty obvious. Imagine a 12 year old having a didn't-get-my-way temper tantrum. Messages on the instant messenger directed at me and finally I decided to just block him out of my profile. There is no need for that in my life. Swinging is for fun, I have enough drama in real life thank you very much.

The other option is to ditch. Let's be real here - it's anonymous up until a certain point, and you control that point. So if you get a picture of a playmate and you know you're not going to bang them you can always ditch. But, isn't that really immature and kinda asshole-ish? But then I think of The Reject Brat and his tempter tantrum when I gave him the respect of an honest and kind answer. It's rather tempting to just log offline and change your stealth settings to make them think you're just gone forever. *POOF* gone.

Basically, you're fucked either way. Sorry kids, it's the truth.

So what do you think? Honesty or Ditch?

The Wife