Wednesday, December 31, 2014

The Uninterested Man

To wrap up 2014 I will fulfill a promise to tell you about one of the oddest encounters we've ever had. That is, The Uninterested Man.

This was a few years ago now, so some of the details are fuzzy and some of them burned into my memory forever.... We met through AFF. Chatted for a while via email and text doing the usual exchange of pictures, stories and rules. Everything seemed on board so we moved forward.

He invited us to a house party he was hosting but we were unable to make it (I can't remember why at this point) so we scheduled a follow up of sorts. He would bring a female friend of his who also couldn't make the party and the four of us would play. We hadn't seen anything of the other woman but took the risk as her description sounded like she was a lot of fun.

They arrived and all looked good. She wasn't a knock out but she was cute and very nice. She also seemed to be up for anything and it all looked good for The Hubs. My playmate definitely looked different in the face from his pictures, like maybe photoshop had been done to his nose, but still all looked good so we proceeded. The two of them had played before so The Uninterested Man warned us to get a towel for her, as she was quite the squirter. More on that to come...

We started off with "our own" couples, me with The Hubs and he with his friend. Quickly we moved on from there. Sucking and some foreplay and then we all moved to the bed to arrange for all four of us. I remember it started with both of us ladies on our knees and both men standing off the bed fucking us from behind. I couldn't see anything except the bed of course but would turn around to get a glimpse of The Hubs getting his cock slicked up by her juices. Pretty soon we came to find out that he really wasn't kidding about the towel. It was quite handy as she gushed around The Hubs and soaked the towel quickly.

Around this point I began to notice how quiet my playmate was. I know I can be somewhat loud so I tried to hold it in so I could hear him and see what was going on. There was basically nothing. A few times he would start talking to The Hubs about the other woman just as if they were sitting at a table having a drink. Nothing to indicate that he was currently balls-deep inside of me. I flipped over so I could get a look at him and see what was going on and that is when I saw it. The most uninterested look I've EVER seen on a face while having sex. I mean, not even movies could touch this one. He didn't look disgusted, intrigued, bored, excited - nothing. Just... nothing. He was going through the motions of in and out with his cock looking like he was just standing around watching tv.

Now, if you've ever had sex with any woman, like ever, you may have noticed this is not a great way to approach the situation. My potential for orgasm went in the tank as I started to feel like he was seriously uninterested in fucking me. I focused on The Hubs and took enjoyment in their fun while we had the longest fuck of my life. (Or so it seemed because I was ready for it to be over) When I heard The Hubs cumming I faked my way out of my own situation and then my playmate (still having not cum himself) moved over to the other woman to play with her some. We watched them fuck while The Hubs fingered me (totally knowing I had faked it with The Uninterested Man) and we watched as the other woman gushed into the towel some more and finally he finished.

We wrapped things up and said our goodbyes. Me feeling totally and utterly self-conscious. Had I been too this or that? Did he not find me attractive in person or what had I done wrong was all I could think about for a long time. It impacted our swing life a lot. It sent me into a slump of self-consciousness that I had a hard time breaking out of.

Finally I have come to the conclusion that he is a sex-addict at it's worst. Not the kind that enjoys copious amounts of sex and can't get enough but the guy that just has to go through the motions of doing it. That was the look on his face, not disgust just like he was reading an OK book or watching an infomercial. A blank face.

For obvious reasons we never spoke again, until a few weeks ago when he text me out of the blue. I literally laughed out loud because why would someone who seemed so uninterested come back for more? Especially so long afterward. He is a perfect example of one of those people you leave the contact name in the phone just so you know who to ignore when they contact again.

So that is the story... As promised! So here's to more fun in 2015. The Hubs and I hope to be back in the "swing" of things so to speak as soon as we both feel comfortable branching back out into the swing life.

Until next time, Happy New Year :)

The Wife

Tuesday, November 18, 2014


So, clearly I suck at updating this blog when life is moving at a rapid pace with things other than swinging. So here is an update on what we've been up to.

Pregnant Slut -

It's going good, rapidly approaching the final segment of the journey. Hard to believe some days and others it feels like I've been pregnant and out of commission for decades.

This isn't my first rodeo but I was not prepared for how unappealing and unsexy I would feel this time around. After my last pregnancy I lost a lot of weight and The Hubs and I really hit our stride in the swing arena. So I never really had to be the pregnant slut before. Most of my slutting days were well before or well after my last pregnancy. Meaning this one hit me hard. I really struggled mentally with how unappealing I felt.

After my announcement I heard from a lot of guys about how sexy they think pregnant women are. But, I'm here to say I wasn't feeling any of it. At first I wasn't feeling great physically which made the sex-life with The Hubs difficult. Which compounded the feeling of me being utterly disgusting.  And even though we weren't in our swinger-hayday when the pregnancy began it still felt like a brick wall immediately went up with outside men when I made the annoucement. Most of that is probably mental (we know I'm an overthinker), but even the general nonsense flirting The BFF's Hubs and I did came to a screeching halt. Hard to feel like you still have "it" when your sex life at home and the flirting life you're used to comes to such a dramatic dwindle. Luckily The Hubs and I have rebounded (we always do thankfully) and are back to a normal, wonderful flow. This helps a lot, plus we're at the stage that he rubs me a lot and that contact is always amazingly intimate even if not in a sexual way.

Blast from the past

This guy randomly text me about a two weeks ago that I hadn't heard from in about 3 years. Seriously, 3 years. At least! There are reasons we didn't talk after we played. Yet, here he was texting me like we were BFFs. I was like WTF is going on here. Turns out he came across my phone number and didn't know who I was, so he thought he'd see where it went. Hot, huh? Yea... like I said, there's a reason why we never talked again. I call him The Uninterested Man. I'll have to check my blog roll to see if I ever wrote about him. If I didn't I'll fill you guys in sometime. It was a crazy experience. I tried to get rid of him by telling him of my current status and of course he was one who was like "yea, I'm up for that" eye roll... naturally.

The Fireman

I hear from this guy semi regularly, but he generally only has time (or so he says) for a blow job. As in unreciprocated... Umm... no. I know I've written about him here before somewhere. He's complicated; married to an unknowing wife that he's not only trying to hook up with girls but also guys (he says for BJ only with them) and he can't get an erection if he's cum already in that day. Like apparently at all. So there isn't going to be a round two if you go BJ first if you know what I mean. I haven't told him I'm pregnant because 90% of the time he's texting me it's for a) a BJ booty call which isn't going to happen or b) he's at work overnight and "needs" pics to help him out for a jack session. Sometimes I oblige, other times not so much. Just depends on the mood I guess! lol He's an interesting character, which I guess is why I keep him on the hook enough to keep talking to him. We've played a few times and it went well when we did. For now he's somewhat like watching a train wreck. Sometimes it is pure entertainment just to watch him try to ask for pics or a bj. Maybe it's wrong, (probably is) but he's fun to keep around.

OK, kids that's all I've got. I'll try to be around more ;)

The Wife

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Yes and No

Long time no blog... I think you'll understand why shortly. I contemplated talking about this at all but what the heck, in real life there are things that happen that impact your Swinger Lifestyle. This is definitely one of them...

A few weeks ago The Hubs posted the following on Twitter:

We both waited to see if anyone would take the bait... Only one couple was like umm... WTF?!?!

So the question is, am I? Is it?

Yes and No.

Yes, we're expanding our family. We'll welcome another (our last) kid in early February.
No, it is NOT The Friend's baby! We know this for sure even though we did conceive a few days after Round 2.

Does this mean our Swinging is over?

Yes and No.

This is a complicated answer - so try and stay with me. If we had a steady playmate I think both The Hubs and I would be OK continuing our playtime for a while based on how I was feeling etc. However, at the moment the closest thing we have to a steady is The Friend. And, well he doesn't know yet but when he finds out... I'll be back to a Manatee for sure. And who knows if I'll ever return to Mermaid status.

The irony of all ironies is that when you're pregnant sex is even more amazing. At least at the beginning. The Hubs says my pussy is extra ripply (totally made that word up) and in some positions his cock feels like I'm being fucked and using the Hitachi at the same time. WIN. So ironically this would be a great time to play, but that really doesn't seem to be in our cards so it will be a benefit for The Hubs and me to enjoy.

The No comes into play in that we know this is our final kid. I already have a sense of completion about this one. Something I was always wondering if I'd have or if I'd always long for another cute snuggely baby. So I do think that we'll get back to the fun times as time moves on. Plus, if you've ever been to Eyz Wide Shut you know that there certainly isn't an age limit to swinging. My goodness, sometimes me in my mid-thirties is practically infant status. That and after I lose the baby weight I'm getting the boob implants I've always wanted. So um, why not have fun with them??

Do I miss the drinking, the smoking, the excessive fucking?

Yes and No.

When we went to happy hour with our friends last week was it a semi-bummer to not get a nice cocktail, sure! But that is life, this season will pass and I'll have the rest of my life to be a drunk, high slut. I've come to realize that life really is just about seasons. Nothing lasts forever, so not drinking or smoking ganja is just a season of life and this too shall pass so I'm OK with that. Plus, it's a greater good thing, ya know? If it was "just because" then I may be resentful of The Hubs for being able to partake, but this is for a purpose.

So, for now I'm a pregnant slut. So there won't be many new stories coming out of the blog for a while, but I'm sure I have plenty of old material I can hash out. That is, if this post hasn't sent all of my readers running for the hills!

Until next time...

The Wife

Friday, June 6, 2014

Round Two; Part 3

If you haven't read Part 1 or Part 2 you should go catch up ;)

Side note: The details get fuzzy here, so I'll do my best to give the correct sequence, but after talking to The Hubs the next day it showed that my version and his version were quite different. And clearly I'd enjoyed my last day of drinking a little more than I thought. I would LOVE to have him write it from his perspective, but the last time I tried to get him to do that he basically laughed at me! hahaha

OK, so I'm getting my pussy eaten by The Hubs watching The Friend watch me. After I came on his face I pulled him on to the step where I had been and started sucking his cock. I was letting The Friend adjust to the extra cock in view and figured that if nothing else we would put on a great show. After a while of sucking on The Hubs rock hard cock he told me to go get The Friend and put him on the step where he had been.

The Friend was clearly nervous, but came willingly and I put him on the step, leaning him against the edge of the pool and started sucking his cock. He wasn't hard yet but would get there with some work. I knew it was just nerves and if there was any chance of this continuing I was going to have to chill him the fuck out. He had told me earlier that I was the best blow job he'd ever had. Truth? Who knows, but I was rolling with it. The Hubs had been across the pool giving The Friend some space to adjust and enjoy. I put my hand out behind me and gave the finger signal to come hither...

The Hubs came up behind me and started fucking me as I sucked on The Friend. Occasionally I'd look up and see a grin on The Friend's face. It plainly said "I can't believe this is happening" I probably would have giggled at it if I wasn't wonderfully-distracted by The Hubs sliding his cock in and out of my very, very wet pussy. {and it wasn't from being in the pool ;)}Also, let it be said this is one of my favorite things about an MFM; me in the middle sucking one cock while getting my pussy railed by another from behind. The Hubs and I came together, my pussy sucking his cock in deeper as he pumped into me.

I kept sucking as The Hubs hopped out of the pool and got a drink. I saw him go inside the house and I think that helped The Friend with his nerves. He started getting harder under my tongue and pretty soon he told me that pretty soon he was going to end up breaking a rule. (The Rule is absolutely no cumming in my mouth. It's not a negotiable rule, that is a spot that is ONLY for The Hubs and I share it with no one else. Period.) I stopped immediately. I sat up a bit but kept stroking his cock not wanting the party to end there. He looked around behind him (for The Hubs I guess?) and then pushed me through the water to the other side of the shallow end of the pool.

Pushing me against the wall of the pool he pulled my legs up and shoved his throbbing cock into me. He proceeded to fuck me hard against the wall of the pool. The only problem was I kept smacking my head into the pool's stone edge. I put my hands on the outside trying to keep my head from hitting so I wouldn't die of a head injury later on. I heard a flick of a lighter and realized The Hubs was back outside and enjoying the show.

Again - HOT!

The Friend fucked me hard until he pulled out (to cum in the pool is my theory) and shoved his fingers deep into me and finger fucked me hard. I came again on his fingers enjoying knowing that The Hubs was watching from the dark corner of the patio.

The next thing I know The Hubs is climbing back in the pool next to me. I'm pretty sure I said something along the lines of "oh heeeeeeeeeeey, baby!" I took them both (or so I thought) back to the seat/step, putting The Hubs up on the seat to suck his cock. Realizing The Friend wasn't around I swam over and got him. He played with my pussy for a minute while I sucked on The Hubs but quickly left for the very deep end of the pool. I could tell that was going to be it, and I gave the signal to The Hubs. He switched places with me and fucked me hard on the step. By this point my pussy was so swollen it was sucking his cock in and out on it's own. It was really quite enjoyable...

We finished up and The Hubs got out of the pool and got dressed. I went on a mission to find my bathing suit and then decided to just "fuck it" and got out naked to find my swim cover up. I put it on (backwards and then went to pull it around and again thought "fuck it") The Friend asked The Hubs to grab him another beer, he was staying in the pool for a while. We said our goodbyes and we headed home.

At home I showered off and climbed into bed to a rock hard waiting cock. Another one of my favorite things is the "reclaiming" after we play. We fucked fast and hard and then we both fell over and basically passed out.

What a night!!!

The next day I *may* have walked funny and I definitely felt my swollen, abused pussy every time I sat, walked, moved or breathed in or out ;) But then again, there are few things in life greater than a sex-hangover. After all it's a sure sign of the fucktastic time you had the night before.

The Wife

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Round Two; Part 2

When we left off in Part 1 it was finally just The Hubs, The Friend and me. The Hubs and The Friend were smoking in the pool while I sat out of the pool drinking.

For some reason I had gotten it in my head that if The Friend wanted to fuck me again he'd need to work for it a little. After all I had just watched him trying super hard for The New Chick, why should I just give it away? I was curious if he would even try for me. Also now that The BFFs were gone I knew it was either going to happen or it was going to end in a definitive "no" from The Friend. (see catch #2 in Part 1) So I stayed in the chair, out of reach from everyone and just chilled.

Soon The Hubs (always acting as my pimp!) remarked how I was not in the pool and I should join them. Ok, I thought... here comes the answer. I got in the pool and the three of us continued chatting. We talked about the strip clubs, the swinger clubs and our friends in general. It was an eclectic conversation to say the least. The Friend mentioned the strip club again and his desire to go and The Hubs said "why would you need to go to the strip club, you have boobs right there in front of you. {then to me} Baby, you should take off your top!"

Being drunk and a slut I did it. I swam over and put my top up on the side of the pool and rejoined the boys for conversation. We were all huddled in the deep end where there was a seat. We started talking about our swinging partners and how this guy was into this and that girl was into that. The Friend asked questions as if he still didn't believe us. Eventually The Hubs requested I take my swim bottoms off too. Of course, I obliged and conversation resumed. The Hubs sitting next to me and The Friend floating in front of me. Trying to see if this ball was going to start rolling my legs were floating around The Friend, then back down. Eventually I felt fingers start playing with my pussy. Being drunk and situated between both of them I really didn't know who it was. I assumed it was The Hubs, only to find out it was not.

The Hubs went inside for a beer-run and the fingers continued. Oh, I thought... I guess he's making a move. When Hubs returned to us in the pool we started talking about how the guys in the MFM handle being around cock. I really think The Friend can't visualize another man being OK with an MFM with his wife unless the guys were also bi-sexual. As many times as I've explained that The Hubs is 100% straight as an arrow and never has any contact with the other men I think there is a part of him that just can't wrap his head around it. At one point The Hubs put his hand down in the pool to play with my pussy and their hands ran into each other. To say The Friend quickly backed up would be an understatement. I don't know, maybe he thought he was "busted" even though clearly I was naked in front of my husband. I get it, swing lifestyle is intimidating especially when you're talking about real life friends who you don't care to lose. But, also I can only tell you something so many times. And clearly The Hubs was well aware of everything going on.

I made a comment about how I love having two cocks but sadly he couldn't handle making me a sandwich. It was then that he protested saying he could in fact handle it.... Well, OK then... "So why am I the only one naked in this pool then?" I said and just like that both boys disrobed.


The Friend had swam across the width of the deep end to take his off, so The Hubs pulled me down to the large step in the shallow end. He went under water and began eating me out. Let me say for the record if you ever have the chance to have The Hubs lick your pussy DO IT. I've had others attempt it and let me just say married to him or not - NO ONE compares. Even while drowning himself under water he worked his magic tongue over me. The Friend watched from across the pool as I wriggled on the step under my favorite tongue until I came all over The Hubs' face.

Last part coming soon....

The Wife

Saturday, May 31, 2014

Round Two; Part 1

Well.... I was wrong. I distinctly remember believing that The Friend and I would never fuck again. But, 10 months later I can officially say I was very, very wrong.

After we had our fun last summer things went back to normal. And by "normal" I mean the two of us flirting with each other and the line of appropriateness. It seemed he had a new found comfort of sorts with me; often telling me secrets about his escapades. Yes, that's right this slut isn't his only indiscretion. But then again, he's not my only either! So it was all good.

Then came the invitation to a birthday/pool party for my BFF, but hosted at The Friend's house. Then I heard that The Girlfriend would be out of town. HA! I thought, well this should be interesting. The Hubs heard that and started plotting. He spent all week before the party getting me worked up with dirty talk about what he and The Friend would do to me after everyone else cleared out of the party. Not gonna lie, the thought of having both of them at the same time was HOT. I was pretty much dripping wet every time he mentioned it. The catch (isn't there always a catch) however, was threefold.

First - it was of utmost importance that I NOT let The BFF or other friends find out about this. In reality they probably know more than they should about our lifestyle but really nobody wants them to find out about this particular sexcapade. Like for real. So it was key to not let anything happen until/if we were left to the 3 of us.

Second - The Friend has always been clear about his uncertainty about being in a MFM. He and The Hubs are friends, but was he sure he could be that close to The Hubs with a hard cock? He was skeptical which is why I broke my own rule of no playing alone last year when we played. The planning with The Hubs was so hot, but in the end would The Friend be able/interested if it wasn't alone?

Third - there was a scheduling conflict and it meant The Hubs was unable to be at the party until late. This meant if there was any flirtation I would have to shut it down immediately as to not fuck up the first wrinkle. And, this was my last day of drinking for a while so The Hubs & I pretty much knew I would be drunk so it was doubly important that I remember to NOT. FUCK. THIS. UP.

When I got there it was a small gathering, just a few friends with only two people I didn't know very well. They had all been drinking and swimming for a while before I arrived so I did my part to catch up. We swam and drank and The BFF's Hubs made me a drink so strong even I had to sip it slowly. Eventually the crowd changed and The New Chick arrived. She was cute; blond, good body and from the stories we'd heard quite the party girl. Pretty soon it was clear that I was not on The Friend's radar at all. He had zeroed in on his new conquest and was doing it up pretty good to score with her.

Now, let it be said I admit I was disappointed in this turn of events. I'd had a week plus of talking to The Hubs about having the two of them together and the whole fantasy was slipping away pretty quickly. I mean, even if she wasn't hotter than me (which she was) there is a phrase every man will understand - "there ain't no pussy like new pussy" - am I right? And she was new pussy and totally hotter than I am, it was a total no-brainer. So I had determined that it wasn't going to happen. The saving grace was I'd still get to go home with The Hubs and he would be the sole benefactor of my built up lust. No longer worrying about my alcohol intake I lived it up. I honestly have no idea how many drinks I had but I was no longer feeling awkward or anything else. I was just a girl hanging with her friends having a good time.

The Hubs arrived, the party continued and eventually the crowd dwindled. Eventually The New Chick decided it was time for her to leave. We all watched as The Friend did everything he could to get her to stay, literally walking her out to the car for one last chance. We all soon realized he had never come back from walking her out. I went inside to investigate. (hello, nosey!)

I found him sulking in his bed, alone. She had denied him and he wasn't thrilled. I came in and gave him a hard time about ditching all of us etc. He told me how he'd really wanted her to stay and how he'd been told she was such a party girl but she had just left, and how could she have just left??? I laid down next to him but not with him and listened to him bitch and moan about getting rejected. I guess at some point he then realized that I was still there and he decided to ask me for just a blow job. "Just stick it in your mouth for a sec" he said. Yea, right I thought - even in my drunkeness I knew it would not be a "just the tip" situation and I was NOT going to fuck up the only rule The Hubs had given me. (see catch #1) I somewhat convinced him to come back to the party and we both stood up. He then grabbed my bathing suit bottoms and stuck his finger into the top V of my pussy. He remarked how I was always so wet and he loved it. I told him again we needed to rejoin the party. His response was to push me down on the bed and climb up on top of me. With both had our bathing suits on and I wrapped my legs around him and explained that we couldn't do this right now because The Hubs had specifically asked me not to do anything while The BFFs were around. Just then the bedroom door opened and there stood The Hubs. Once again he was running interference for me and informed us that others were wondering where the hell we were. I followed The Hubs and eventually The Friend came back to the rest of the party.

The crowd dwindled more and more and eventually it was just the three of us and The BFFs. The boys were in the pool discussing how they wanted to go to the strip club later that night. Again The Friend was showing no signs (despite what we had just done) of wanting to stick around to hang with me so again I determined nothing was going to happen.

Eventually The BFFs left, and then there were three.

To be continued.....

The Wife

Friday, May 30, 2014


Remember The No Show? Well out of nowhere my kik went off the other day. And low and behold this is what I found:

After I finished laughing out loud I was set to respond with a smart ass reply but The Hubs said I shouldn't even bother with any response. So I left it.

I guess some could argue that he was trying to be polite. Trying to do the "right thing" but really I don't see it that way. I keep going back to the same question in my head as it is a month later - WHY BOTHER?? Clearly you don't give a fuck about being a dick that night. So why would you even bother reaching out again. We have had zero contact since that night so again - WHY bother?!?!?! All I can think is he thought I would be so desparate for a fuck that I'd be like Oh, no problem come over now. Fuck. That.

I mean, really???

The Wife

Sunday, May 25, 2014


A note from me before you read... I'm sharing this because it is what is going on in my life currently. I am not seeking your thoughts on sobriety and or my choices for substances I partake in. Please read this blog post if you wish, ignore as you wish! Either way, I'm not looking for a lecture or comentary on alcohol and or any other drug.

If you've followed along for any period of time you probably already know that "sober" is not often used to describe me. No, I'm not an alcoholic, I'm not a drug addict. I just don't think there is anything wrong with partaking in such pleasures when doing it "responsibly"*.

I drink. And I smoke weed. Frequently. However, there are times when sobriety is a neccesity. And for right now, I'm in one of those phases of life. For medical reasons I've had to give up weed for the past 2 weeks. At some point soon I'll have to give up alcohol for a while too. If things go as planned I'll be without those and any form of those for about a year while my body goes through some stuff. Yes, I'm fine. No, I don't plan on telling you what is going on ;)

Would I have chosen to give these things up? No.

Am I sorry I did? No, this is a greater good kind of situation.

Do I plan on going back to using them both when I am able to again? Without a doubt.

Does that make me an addict? No! Am I addicted because I "miss" them? No. I honestly don't believe that. I drink socially and responsibly and I use weed not to par-tay down, but more for it's medical benefits.

See, for me, a chronic overthinker and anxiety sufferer, weed helps like nothing else. Yes, I take daily medication perscribed by my doctor but really it only takes the constant roar of anxiety down a peg or two. Whereas weed helps turn the volume almost all the way down. I actually have a blog post about this which is stuck in forever-draft status as sharing would probably be too personal**. Here is an excerpt:
I am an over-thinker. A constant-wonderer. An over-analyzer, and I. Hate. It.
"Just stop!" You say? Not so simple. Oh how I wish it was. It may be the biggest pet peeve I have about myself. And if you know me, that says a lot.
Because of the constant over-thinking I'm almost never truly comfortable. Even with people I know and trust I think deeply into their words, actions, inactions etc. I wonder, I ponder and I replay it all over and over again in my head. Usually it just leads to more unanswered questions.
Pretty much I'm a big ole bag of crazy. But, I manage to deal. Now, being completly sober it is a little more complicated to deal. But, in the long run I'll manage. Like I said... it's a greater good situation and afterall it is only temporary.

So hang in there with me, kids... it's going to be a crazy ride...

The Wife

* I put "responsibly" in quotes because lets face it, is there a "responsible" way to partake in illegal drugs like pot? Not really, but - am I doing it when in charge of children? No. So I that's what I mean by "responsible"
**Yes, I realize that I am willing to share my body and my stories but consider my rambling about my crazy as "too personal"

Thursday, May 22, 2014

The "Single" Male

The top theory of The No Show is that he was married/attached and that is why he dropped off the face of the planet. I'm going with that one or a stupid Catfish situation. Either way, it is annoying when people are untruthful about their status. In fact, I recently sent out a tweet saying something about how this or that was "probably married"... I was asked "is that a problem?" and the answer to that is not as easy as it may seem.

I'd be a big ole hypocrite if I said I was anti-married people. I'd be an even bigger one if I said I had an issue with if the person had permission or not. After all, The Friend is in a long-term relationship and we all know how much that stopped me... And helloooo, I am married too. So clearly I'm ok with blurring the lines.

Here is the distinction though. If you are honest and say to me up front that you are married/attached and you do not have permission I may not like it (cheating is really a nasty thing) but if all of the other factors fall into place who am I to judge you? But... it does adds an extra layer of complication. And that is, if nothing else, annoying.

Some examples:

Now on top of schedules, interest, location etc we have to contend with the fact that we're trying to keep something on the DL from your partner. That means I need to remember when I can and can't text you. And really, do I have the time or brain power to remember such things? No! So chances are at some point I'll accidentally reach out to you when you're unable to talk. So have a good story ready. Or save my name in your phone as a guy's name.

It takes all spontaneity out of the playtime. True, as a parent The Hubs and I don't have that much "spontaneous play time" but on the rare occasion after little people are asleep we sneak a playmate in for some fun. This is almost always a "hey lets see if blah blah blah can play tonight" rather than a planned event. If you're married/attached you're probably working around your wife/girlfriend's schedule. Meaning there is no booty call.

I ain't got no time for your drama. This hasn't happened yet...knock on wood...but I have low tolerance for drama. I don't need an angry woman calling me up or God-forbid showing up on my doorstep because I fucked her husband/boyfriend. Seriously, ain't nobody got time for that...

So I try to not find guys that are attached, but all of you men out there playing on the DL for the love of all things you gotta be honest about it with your playmates. Otherwise you're more likely to fall victim to example #1 leading to example #3. And I repeat.... Ain't NOBODY got time for that.

The Wife

Thursday, May 1, 2014

My Type

Have you ever sat down to examine your partners and wonder what similarities and differences they have to each other? Do you have a "type" that you gravitate toward?

I often joke that while growing up I was always attracted to blonde, preppy boys. Then I met The Hubs and ended up marrying a brunette who isn't particularly preppy ;) But in reality it wasn't that I changed my type, it was that as time wore on my preferences evolved and continue to do so. The clearest example of this is one that The Hubs loves to tease me about. That is, bald men.

If you had asked a 20-something version if I'd be drawn to the bald look I'd probably have laughed at you. Even knowing that The Hubs was genetically predisposed to join this group I couldn't imagine myself "enjoying" the look on anyone but him (and him mostly because I love him). Now, in my 30's I find myself attracted to these cue-ball men. (* think Bruce Willis, Jason Statham sort of bald. Not George Costanza)

Maybe it is because there are so many men taking the scalped option over the dreaded comb-over of yesteryear but the Mr. Clean look kinda works for me. Maybe it is evolutionary in preparation for if The Hubs does follow in his family footsteps (so far he hasn't and that is longer than any other dude in the family) Maybe it is because so many of the men in our age range are bald/balding these days. Any way around it, it is working for me. 

So if you're on the fence about shaving off that comb over, I say go for it! I can't be alone in this new found enjoyment :)

The Wife 

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

The No Show

Sometimes it is easy to spot the weirdos. Fuck, they're plentiful in this lifestyle. But sometimes you have no red flags and then you're met with a douche. This is the story of The No Show.

It started last week when I began talking to this guy looking to me a new playmate. He was young, good looking and polite. We went through the normal process; face picture exchange, general pleasantries and the what do you like conversations. We set up a date for 4 days later and ended the conversation. All good.

The next day he reached out via kik again. "Just checking in", he said. I literally thought "c'mon dude, we're already set to get together what do you want to chat about??" but I was nice and we chatted a bit. The next day the same, and then again the day after that. Each day he would check in, say hello and engage in normal pleasant conversation. He never asked for pictures or dirty stories, just conversation.

The night before we were going to play I mentioned our plans had fallen through that night and maybe I would just go crazy and call him to come over that night instead of meeting for a drink. He loved the idea and I said if it worked out I'd let him know. Other plans for The Hubs and I came together so I didn't reach out to him. I woke the next day to a kik message from 2 am saying how disappointed he was he didn't get to fuck me that night. He was clearly looking forward to it.

Finally the big day arrived and I spent all day making sure all things were prepped. The house was clean, the vag was shaved etc. New sheets went on the bed and again he reached out to see if we were still on for that night. We were supposed to meet for a drink at a bar around the corner from our house and if we hit it off I'd bring him home to meet The Hubs. There was a plan change and we decided just to have him come straight to the house (something we never do) so I gave him our address. He said he'd let me know when he was on the way and that was that.

That was the last we ever heard from him. He completely disappeared. No text, no email, no kik whole lot of nothing. The kik messages I sent at the time have gone unread even still. OK, so now what? It happens, chalk it up to not working out. But, I have to wonder why? I'm nosey, remember? I always want to know why. So I'd really fucking like to know WHY?

There were no. red. flags. He had been with couples, check! He was willing to meet for a drink first, check! He didn't ask for pictures except in the initial exchange, check! Was he married and his wife changed the plans? Found out about his attempt at an affair? Was he a real guy at all? Was this some sort of catfish type bullshit? It's OK to not want to fuck me but I just can't help but wonder why you would go to all of the trouble to not show up. HE was the one who reached out each day. HE was the one to confirm the plans. HIM, not me! So why bother?

Ohhhh single men...

The Wife

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

The Hubs

Today is The Hubs birthday. I don't often talk about my main man on here in depth because I tend to stick to the random stories that keep you guys hungry for more. But, in honor of his 30-something birthday here are 25 reasons (in no particular order) I love this man.

1. His eyes - they are so damn pretty. They are super clear light blue and most people get sucked in to how pretty they are.

2. The way he loves me. Yes this is general. But I'm not the easiest to love. He's stuck around way longer than anyone not genetically related to me.

3. He is THE BEST hugger. One of the first things I fell in love with. I mean seriously, when he wraps me up in his arms I could live there. Like for real.

4. He still makes me tingle. Like full body.

5. If I'm ever stranded on a deserted island or kidnapped by terrorists (for what purpose I don't know) I KNOW he'll come for me. He's just that guy. There are other people who may look for me but would soon give up. I know he wouldn't.

6. I turn everything into a joke. So he hears an almost non-stop dialogue of thoughts. On occasion I really get him with something funny. When he really laughs hard at one of my jokes it spurs me on like no one else.

7. The way he knows stupid little things about me like I don't like my sandwiches cut in half if made at home. Dumb, yes but it is the little things.

8. How I still catch him watching me dress or undress. 17 years into our relationship there isn't much left to hide. Yet the man still watches me undress or dress. It amazes me constantly.

9. How he can read my moods. Ok, so sometimes it drives me a little crazy. But whatever. He totally gets it. There is no hiding my pissiness from him.

10. His smile. Especially when looking at out spawn.

11. The Father he is to our spawn. In fact, he almost insisted on bottle feeding just so he could do half of the feedings. What man do you know that WANTS to be awake at 2 am feeding a crying baby?

12. Speaking of which - the way he loves our spawn is #12. Fully, unconditionally and in his own way so different from how either of us were raised we have made a little family and it is clear the way he loves the wee people in our home.

13. The way he can fix almost anything! Seriously, the mechanical and practical intelligence this guys has amazes me constantly.

14. When I catch him (or he admits) watching me as I shower through the cracked door. Maybe that creeps you out, but to me I know it's motivated by lust, which is hot.

15. The way he encourages me to be dirty and slutty. Fuck, he does 99% of the work finding people for ME to fuck.

16. The way he can read my mind. I can't tell you how often I'm thinking something and then suddenly he says the exact words in my head. Sometimes it's kinda creepy he's so accurate. I'm talking like exact words.

17. His ears. He hates them, I love them. Sure they stick out a little but who cares. I think they are adorable.

18. The way he took care of my post c-section. (Yep, I'm a mother but my who-ha has never been stretched out, score for the inner slut!) I'm not going to get into TMI details but let's just say when my sister heard about how he was caring for me and the things he was willing to do she said he deserved Husband of the Century medal.

19. How he constantly protects our family. He is one of those people who trusts no one and is constantly looking for lurking danger. Which is great because I tend to trust most people and never think anything bad is going to happen. Good combo, right?

20. How unendingly patient he is when he coaches our kid and 17 other 4-6 year olds. I mean for real, I often sit watching him deal with the crazies thinking WHO is this man????

21. How sometimes I'm getting dressed or doing laundry or something totally unsexy and he comes up behind me and shoves his cock deep in my pussy. Kinda like he HAS to have me NOW. HOT.

22.  How he makes the nightly rounds checking out the doors, dog, kids and doing a  security perimeter check multiple times a night while I saw logs.

23. How he has seen me in every imaginable shape, form, version of myself and still never actually says when he isn't impressed. Sure I know which version is his favorite (it's mine too) but he never says OMG, DUDE why are you so nasty. Even when he comes home and I'm still in my pjs from a long day.

24. How we can have an entire conversation without speaking a word. A few Christmases ago we were at a dinner party and from across the table I said "Hey, baby can you pass me that mushroom?" "sure" he said as he reached for the exact one I wanted. Simple, yes. Did it blow the mind of our friends? YES. It's the things like that. Sometimes we see something or someone and just the look says it all. We know exactly what we're going to make fun of or discuss as soon as we are alone.

25. For being mine. We share each other but at the end of the day he's mine. And it's one of the best things I love about him.

Happiest Birthday wishes to my love. I'm so eternally grateful that your Dad didn't pull out.

The Wife.

Friday, March 14, 2014


Remember when I said this "Since it was for a city we don't live in, he even put our face pictures out there! When he told me I thought hmmm... I wonder if we'd be recognized by anyone?" about our Craigslist ad? Well, lets just say the city of New Orleans is a lot smaller than you may realize.

The group decided to go off Bourbon for a nice dinner on our second night. When we arrived we had a short wait for our table and got a seat at the bar for a drink. I was sitting facing away from the bar with The Hubs standing next to me as we talked with our friends. All of the sudden the guy at the end of the bar gets The Hubs attention and calls him over to him. Having never seen this man before it was not shocking that I could see the question all over The Hubs' face and it plainly said "WTF".

I was the closest to the man and I could just barely catch a word he said. I swore he said the word "Craigslist". Soon The Hubs laughed, shook his hand and walked back. Naturally our friends were asking questions so The Hubs said that he said he looked super familiar and couldn't figure out why so he just wanted to shake his hand.

Ok, I thought... that's a cover story. For sure.

We were seated a few minutes later and I was able to whisper to The Hubs to ask if I had actually heard what I thought I heard. He laughed, yes I had. The man had recognized me from the ad as soon as I walked in the bar. In the moment The Hubs said no to him so that it would be dropped in front of our friends.

What are the odds, we laughed to ourselves when we looked up and realized there was a guy at the very next table who had been a "no". WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON!?! In a city of millions we run into TWO men who saw us on Craigslist in the same restaurant? Luckily that guy didn't recognize us, or I think our friends really would have been questioning!!

The Wife

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Slut in The Big Easy

Sometimes I think The Hubs and I have reached a point we have done *everything* in our swing life. Not that we are bored, just that we have reached a point that we have tried everything that we are willing to try. But then, something new comes along and it makes me think me that we still have a few uncharted areas and maybe there really isn't an end to the exploration. This weekend we popped a cherry and well, it was a helluva lot of fun.

The Hubs and I spent last weekend in New Orleans with a group of vanilla friends. As per his usual he set out feelers on our AFF profile, SLS page and his new favorite, Craigslist. He does this just about every time we travel alone but usually it doesn't work out or we are barraged with 847 forms of weirdos. Since it was for a city we don't live in, he even put our face pictures out there! When he told me I thought hmmm... I wonder if we'd be recognized by anyone?

The responses to the Craigslist ad were plentiful. So much that I doubt he ever checked the other two once we got there. All day he would check his email and I'd see him either laugh and type (rejection) or he'd discreetly show me the face pics. This is our standard system. He weeds out those he knows I won't like and or don't meet the set parameters and then shows me the face pics for a yes or no before moving on to the next phase. (we're such a good team! lol) My responses range from 'Maybe' to 'FUCK THAT', and we laugh at the odd responses or the guys that start off by saying things like "I'm not what you're looking for but..."

The first night he was texting with The Local all night long. He was young, blonde and looked like a little frat boy. We originally planned on meeting up at 1am (had to get away from our friends after a night on Bourbon street!) but then our friends pooped out earlier and The Hubs reached out to see if we could move it up. After about 2 hours of no response we took it as it was a no show and went about our night.

Typical, we said to each other.

The next night The Hubs had changed the ad to say something about not wasting our time and that if they couldn't read they should go back to school. The emails kept coming. He kept screening. Eventually there was one that made it to the email phase and I got an email from a guy wanting to meet up that night. We made tentative plans but The Hubs kept looking so as to not be burned like the night before. Around 9:30pm The Hubs sent me a text. It said "Text this number..." Ok I thought, let's roll the dice and see how this goes.

I reached out to The Craigslist Guy and got a quick response. We chatted a few minutes with the normal pleasantries as I tried to keep my friends from seeing my phone. (I have a Note 3 now - huge screen, very easy to read from afar!) He was sounding good so we made plans to meet up but would have to reach out to see where when it got closer. One of the issues would be we were essentially "in charge" of one of our friends who would ask us to walk her back to her/our hotel before her husband was ready to go back. This meant we had to pretend to go back to our room, wait for her to go to her room and then sneak back out. It felt like the high school experience I never had.

We had plans to meet at the bar on the corner from our hotel back on Bourbon Street. I'd be full of shit if I didn't admit I was freaking out inside as we made our way to the bar. Were we really doing this? The what-ifs had my head spinning by the time we made it the 2 blocks. We went in and the first pleasant surprise was he looked exactly like his photo. First hurdle covered!

When we sat down and the bartender told us they were closing in 20 minutes. Somehow we had found the only bar on Bourbon that closed at midnight. But, he would serve us a quick drink. Down to business! We each had a drink and we did the normal chit chatting. The basics, nothing too deep; where are you from, how did you get into this etc. I sucked down a drink and deemed him good-to-go. We left the bar and showed him the way to the hotel. Since I was out all day I wanted to take a quick shower first, so The Hubs and The Craigslist Guy hung out on the couch in our suite while I jumped in the shower to freshen up.

I had left my red lingerie in the bathroom so when I came out I was ready for the fun to start. The Hubs left me for a moment and went to the bathroom. I sat down and The Craigslist Guy told me that he liked my new outfit. Then he clarified the rules again, which I thought was a) rare and b) super nice. (note that one guys, as Barney Stinson would say "it's going to be a thing") Then he said "well, ready?" and held out his hand to escort me to the bedroom.

I started taking his belt off. Not knowing what I was in for, I got down on my knees in front of him as I pulled down his pants and boxers. He was mostly ready and let out a deep moan as I slid his cock into my mouth and down my throat. He had a nice sized cock. Good thickness but not so thick I felt like I wasn't able to take it deep. I took it all the way in and twirled my tongue once and he sort of quivered. It was hot to have such an expression of his enjoyment. I only got a few throat plunges and he pulled me up and threw me on the bed. He spread my legs and buried his face in my wet pussy.

I heard The Hubs join us and he came over to take a closer look. He was videoing and found a spot in the corner for a good view. I looked over and watched as I writhed under the tongue of The Craigslist Guy. He was licking and sucking and I was really enjoying it. He fingered me while he licked and The Hubs joined me on the bed at my head and stuck his cock in my throat. I moaned and The Hubs knew what I wanted. He told The Craigslist Guy it was time to fuck me. He agreed and got up to get his condom on. The Hubs kissed me and returned to his corner to watch.

The Craigslist Guy slid his cock in slowly letting my pussy stretch around him and suck his cock deeper in. Then he folded me in half and fucked my pussy hard and deep until we he came.

The Hubs got up and flipped me onto my knees and buried his throbing cock deep into my used pussy. I gasped and my slickness sucked in The Hubs until we both came while The Craigslist Guy stood in front of me and I stroked his cock.

When we were done we fell over and he sat back down and we hung for a few minutes. I wasn't sure if he could go again, since we hadn't had that conversation so we hung out and I thought he was probably not going to be able to cum again. So we said our goodbyes and I walked him to the door, gave him a hug and he left.

Simple. Hot. Fuck and go.

I came back and walked straight to the bed to a waiting Hubs. I sucked his cock deep as I licked my way up and down his cock to clean him and then he fucked me hard and left another load deep in me. When we were done we both basically passed out where we were.

The whole experience was fun. Maybe we got lucky and found a nice guy and it's rare but this was pure sex. No getting to know you, no worrying if they know anyone you know just me, two cocks and a whole lot of fun.

The Wife

Wednesday, March 12, 2014


Have you been hearing them?

Sorry about that! I got a new phone which is google-based and remembers way too much info... as in if I use my blog app it will know and or remember a whole side of me I don't want on my phone. So basically I can't pop onto my app and bang out (pun fully intended) a blog post.


I have a good one coming tomorrow. Let's just say it involves The Hubs and I popped a cherry and it was a great time. And I'll try to not be lazy and actually use the laptop. ;) I would have said no one cared but I got several messages looking for more slut scoop!

Totally feeling the love ;)

The Wife

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

In a perfect world

At least once a year The Hubs has to travel for work and we always "joke" about who or how many guys I should have over while he is gone. How I will send him videos of my pussy being fucked by a boy toy while he is stuck with his boss. Sounds like a good time, right? For more reason than one it hasn't (and probably won't ever) actually come through. 

For one, until recently I had never played alone. Second, and most importantly we have an understood 'rule' about playing alone with people we don't both already know. This means it needs to be someone we've already played with. And, well that narrows the list down quite a bit. 

In a perfect swinger world The Hubs and I would each have a go-to fuck buddy. I would love for him to have someone we both knew and felt comfortable with for him to have playdates with. No pressure, no jealousy just friendship and fucking. When The Unicorn was around I sent him off to play with her several times when I couldn't be there. He had fun, she had fun, I was happy they had fun. It was a win/win/win. Unfortunately her situation changed. So our naughty time had to come to an end. (And damn if it isn't super hard to find a good replacement Unicorn! Ha!)

As for my list of boy toys... Well... I did invite The BJ Booty Call guy over for when The Hubs is gone next weekend. He originally said yes, he would love to. Today he told me he'll be out of town. 

Insert eye roll here _____. 

So, if it was a perfect world and swinging were easier then maybe I'd be busy fucking around this weekend. Since it's not I guess I'll just have to hang with my good ol' friend Mr. Hitachi Magic Wand. That'll work for me! 


The Wife

Monday, January 13, 2014


Maybe I should be flattered. And I am. But, not enough to overrule the fact that I think this whole thing is ridiculous.

Let me back up....Apparently my blow job skills are enjoyable. I'm happy for that. I really do enjoy sucking cock. And I'm very happy to know that despite my complete lack of knowing how to do anything when The Hubs met me I have grown into a craveable blow job giver. But do I enjoy it enough to give them unreciprocated?

Once again today I received a booty call  from a friend we have had over for a MFM on two occasions. He and I text sometimes and I have become his sounding board for swinger issues and coming out about his wants to his fiance. And he loves my blow jobs. Apparently he craves them sometimes. Great. Again, super happy for him. (side note, that is hot) But. He thinks keeps trying to call me up for a blow job booty call. He has tried this tactic 2-3 times in the 2 years I've known him. It hasn't ever happened for one reason: What exactly is in it for me?

I'm a giver. I really am. And I really do enjoy the pleasure that I give The Hubs (and playmates) when I'm sucking their cock. But... in my opinion there are very few reasons to give an unreciprocated blowy. Here are a few.

You're a "fluffer" in the porn industry  - You know, the chick that keeps the guys hard by blowing them while they wait for their scenes. Clearly this is not me, so moving on!

You're in public or a moving vehicle - If you blow your man in an alley behind a bar or while you're driving down the road obviously there is no way for him to take care of you. Hopefully when you reach your destination he takes care of you. Or maybe you take care of yourself while he watches in the car, whatever works for you! ;)

Time Crunch - a friend on Twitter suggested this today for why this dude felt it was OK to ask me for just a BJ. I hadn't thought about it before but I can see how this *could* be a legitimate excuse.

In a Soft Swap situation - This one is a little different because I certainly hope that if you're with a soft swap couple you're getting something. But there are scenarios where the men get blown without the women getting much or anything from the playmate guy.

You're married to the guy attached to the cock - When you love your husband there is pleasure in giving him pleasure. No, I'm not going to physically orgasm from sucking his cock but I do very much enjoy it and when there are reasons to not reciprocate that I'm totally OK with. But that is only because he's my husband and he gets special rules. :)

I'm sure there are others but those are a few examples of how this situation does not apply here! I told him no, this time would not work out and I decided this time to make it known that I'm not interested in just sucking his cock. So I said to him that I'd want to fuck his big hard cock after I blew him etc. etc. He either didn't understand what I was saying (cute, but not so bright) or he opted not to let that information sink into his brain because his response was as if I hadn't responded.

Sigh. I have no doubt he'll try again.

Maybe I should just be flattered... Maybe.

The Wife

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Spoke too soon

You know that old phrase don't count your chickens until they hatch? Well, don't stress about tweet-ups until they are actually happening!

Yep, The Tweep has already had to bail on plans for next month. Family obligations (a totally respectable reason) are going to keep him from meeting up. 

So I guess I had nothing to worry about afterall! 

Tweep-up cherry remains intact! 

The Wife

Friday, January 3, 2014

Oh, by the way...

The Hubs and I have had several opportunities to meet up with Twitter friends, but for one reason or another they've all fallen through. Babysitters, proximity, vacations and good ole Aunt Flow have ruined plans with at least 3 friends. Not always on our end, just bad luck sometimes. Some may think we've backed out on purpose but in reality fate has kept us Tweet-up virgins. So far...

We have an opportunity to meet The Tweep who is a single man who I met on Twitter. He has since closed his account but we have continued emailing each other and next month he'll be within an hour of our home. He wants to meet up. I want to meet up. The Hubs wants us all to meet up.

So what's the problem? Well, good old fashioned fear of rejection, essentially.

I've said before that I am not Supermodel-Esq and while I've always been honest about my pictures and postings I'd be a liar if I didn't admit to only posting/sending the pictures of the best angles, lighting, etc. (I mean who would intentionally send a bad picture of themselves?) But in person it is what it is. And well, this guy is totally out of my league.  So I'm already doubting why he'd want to fuck me to begin with. And most especially because I'm a girl - we're naturally hard on ourselves I feel certain he's expecting a much better version of me.

I made a comment to The Hubs who suggested I email The Tweep with some pics and explain that I was feeling inadequate and yada yada yada. On paper I think he is right and I should just get it out there before he is standing in front of me. But, in my mind I keep trying to word that email without making it sound like I'm the swamp creature from the black lagoon. Think about it - how do you say, "Oh, by the way... I really want to make sure you're not going to think I'm gross" without making it seem like you are in fact gross and he should run for the hills?

So I stew. Because I'm a grade-A overthinker I'm sure I'll overthink this one too. I wish I could turn off this part of my brain but I can't. It's just who I am.

So we'll see. Maybe a tweet-up virgin no more...

The Wife

Thursday, January 2, 2014

On resolutions

Ahh, yes another new year. The time of year that desk calendars are coffee-spill free and everyone thinks they will have an amazing life in the next 365 days. 

Some people make resolutions for the new year, some think that idea is crap. I tend to lean toward the latter. Then I woke up on December 31, 2013 feeling a full on hangover. I couldn't remember large spans of time from the previous nights' events. I even ran to my living room to see if my purse was there. (It was, thanks to The Hubs) 

Later through various stories and rereading text messages the pieces back together. It went something like this:

Went out with my girl friends to what I thought was dinner and an event. Turned out to be appetizers, drinks and event with drinks. Afterward I joined The Hubs and some guy friends at a bar for drinks. 
This is where the night fell off the tracks. 

Being as drunk as I was I apparently felt it necessary to start groping The Friend. Openly. Great idea, huh? And hugging strangers. I'm pretty sure I told my BFF's husband that The BFF is turning lame. I hung on The Friend pointing at him and saying something about "this guy... this guy..." And who knows what else I just haven't heard about yet. 

I couldn't help but feel like crap, both physically and emotionally. And I kept thinking how embarrassed I was for the clearly obnoxious drunk asshole I was. Embarrassed for how I must have embarrassed The Hubs and embarrassed for how I had thrown myself at (and on) The Friend. (while in front of others no less)


So I think 2014 needs to be a year of "Less" for me. Not less fun or less naughtiness necessarily but less excess. Less black-hole memories. Less throwing myself at non-swinger men. Less fucking up. Just, less stupid. I don't think of it as a resolution, more like a theme to keep in mind.

So here's to 2014. More fun, less stupid. 

Happy New Year!

The Wife