Thursday, August 15, 2013


Yesterday I received this question:

"So I have been in a relationship for three of my life. We have recently broke up and he says he has made it clear what he wants and that is to swing. Problem is he cheated most of our relationship. Does this solve a cheating partner??? Confused and forty something!"

And here are my thoughts...

First of all, cheating sucks. It hurts and for those who stick around it takes a long time to forgive and even longer to trust again. However, I am not one to tell people how to handle cheating. I firmly believe that I am NOT a judge of what is best for your relationship and I don't think anyone else is either. 

This is not a common stance, a lot of people will tell you to leave, period. Don't look back. Others will say it is possible to work it out if this or that is done. I say, it's different with every couple and unless it is your own relationship it is noneya (as in none of your business). 

Now, do I think swinging is a "cure" for cheating? Let me say this one clearly...


I think the best swing-relationships come from a foundation of trust. That can't happen if you are using swinging to fill the void of cheating. This will lead to drama, and drama is never fun. Especially for your playmate(s)! 

Can it all work out? Sure! I'm certainly no expert on the future but my suggestion is to work on one issue at a time. If/when you fully-forgive your partner for cheating and feel you can trust him/her then maybe down the line you can try it out as you feel comfortable. 

Hope this helps!

The Wife

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