Wednesday, April 29, 2015


Well, I had a baby.

As it usually happens when you're pregnant after a general set number of weeks the kid comes out one way or another. So one chapter in our lives has come to a close and I thought I'd get caught up here.

Life lately for The Hubs and I has been very vanilla. During the pregnancy and since delivery we have been *gasp* monogamous, haha! I mean, the first two months of a newborn's life is like military boot camp for the parents. It's not pretty. No one sleeps, no one and I mean no one is feeling sexy. I remember one time around the 4 week mark I reached over and grabbed The Hubs' cock. He just looked at me and kind of laughed. Yea, we both rolled over and took the few moments of sleep we could get.

Thankfully that phase is over now and it's much less survival and getting more routine. Or maybe you just learn to run on less sleep? Either way sex has started to be a priority again. So far it has just been with each other, but as time marches on we are both still open to our old ways. We're heading to Key West at some point this summer to celebrate my birthday. Maybe this will be the year of the gang bang? Ya never know.

So I guess you could say I'm back ;) hopefully I'll have some new stories soon, until then we'll relive the highlight reel.

The Wife

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

The Uninterested Man

To wrap up 2014 I will fulfill a promise to tell you about one of the oddest encounters we've ever had. That is, The Uninterested Man.

This was a few years ago now, so some of the details are fuzzy and some of them burned into my memory forever.... We met through AFF. Chatted for a while via email and text doing the usual exchange of pictures, stories and rules. Everything seemed on board so we moved forward.

He invited us to a house party he was hosting but we were unable to make it (I can't remember why at this point) so we scheduled a follow up of sorts. He would bring a female friend of his who also couldn't make the party and the four of us would play. We hadn't seen anything of the other woman but took the risk as her description sounded like she was a lot of fun.

They arrived and all looked good. She wasn't a knock out but she was cute and very nice. She also seemed to be up for anything and it all looked good for The Hubs. My playmate definitely looked different in the face from his pictures, like maybe photoshop had been done to his nose, but still all looked good so we proceeded. The two of them had played before so The Uninterested Man warned us to get a towel for her, as she was quite the squirter. More on that to come...

We started off with "our own" couples, me with The Hubs and he with his friend. Quickly we moved on from there. Sucking and some foreplay and then we all moved to the bed to arrange for all four of us. I remember it started with both of us ladies on our knees and both men standing off the bed fucking us from behind. I couldn't see anything except the bed of course but would turn around to get a glimpse of The Hubs getting his cock slicked up by her juices. Pretty soon we came to find out that he really wasn't kidding about the towel. It was quite handy as she gushed around The Hubs and soaked the towel quickly.

Around this point I began to notice how quiet my playmate was. I know I can be somewhat loud so I tried to hold it in so I could hear him and see what was going on. There was basically nothing. A few times he would start talking to The Hubs about the other woman just as if they were sitting at a table having a drink. Nothing to indicate that he was currently balls-deep inside of me. I flipped over so I could get a look at him and see what was going on and that is when I saw it. The most uninterested look I've EVER seen on a face while having sex. I mean, not even movies could touch this one. He didn't look disgusted, intrigued, bored, excited - nothing. Just... nothing. He was going through the motions of in and out with his cock looking like he was just standing around watching tv.

Now, if you've ever had sex with any woman, like ever, you may have noticed this is not a great way to approach the situation. My potential for orgasm went in the tank as I started to feel like he was seriously uninterested in fucking me. I focused on The Hubs and took enjoyment in their fun while we had the longest fuck of my life. (Or so it seemed because I was ready for it to be over) When I heard The Hubs cumming I faked my way out of my own situation and then my playmate (still having not cum himself) moved over to the other woman to play with her some. We watched them fuck while The Hubs fingered me (totally knowing I had faked it with The Uninterested Man) and we watched as the other woman gushed into the towel some more and finally he finished.

We wrapped things up and said our goodbyes. Me feeling totally and utterly self-conscious. Had I been too this or that? Did he not find me attractive in person or what had I done wrong was all I could think about for a long time. It impacted our swing life a lot. It sent me into a slump of self-consciousness that I had a hard time breaking out of.

Finally I have come to the conclusion that he is a sex-addict at it's worst. Not the kind that enjoys copious amounts of sex and can't get enough but the guy that just has to go through the motions of doing it. That was the look on his face, not disgust just like he was reading an OK book or watching an infomercial. A blank face.

For obvious reasons we never spoke again, until a few weeks ago when he text me out of the blue. I literally laughed out loud because why would someone who seemed so uninterested come back for more? Especially so long afterward. He is a perfect example of one of those people you leave the contact name in the phone just so you know who to ignore when they contact again.

So that is the story... As promised! So here's to more fun in 2015. The Hubs and I hope to be back in the "swing" of things so to speak as soon as we both feel comfortable branching back out into the swing life.

Until next time, Happy New Year :)

The Wife

Tuesday, November 18, 2014


So, clearly I suck at updating this blog when life is moving at a rapid pace with things other than swinging. So here is an update on what we've been up to.

Pregnant Slut -

It's going good, rapidly approaching the final segment of the journey. Hard to believe some days and others it feels like I've been pregnant and out of commission for decades.

This isn't my first rodeo but I was not prepared for how unappealing and unsexy I would feel this time around. After my last pregnancy I lost a lot of weight and The Hubs and I really hit our stride in the swing arena. So I never really had to be the pregnant slut before. Most of my slutting days were well before or well after my last pregnancy. Meaning this one hit me hard. I really struggled mentally with how unappealing I felt.

After my announcement I heard from a lot of guys about how sexy they think pregnant women are. But, I'm here to say I wasn't feeling any of it. At first I wasn't feeling great physically which made the sex-life with The Hubs difficult. Which compounded the feeling of me being utterly disgusting.  And even though we weren't in our swinger-hayday when the pregnancy began it still felt like a brick wall immediately went up with outside men when I made the annoucement. Most of that is probably mental (we know I'm an overthinker), but even the general nonsense flirting The BFF's Hubs and I did came to a screeching halt. Hard to feel like you still have "it" when your sex life at home and the flirting life you're used to comes to such a dramatic dwindle. Luckily The Hubs and I have rebounded (we always do thankfully) and are back to a normal, wonderful flow. This helps a lot, plus we're at the stage that he rubs me a lot and that contact is always amazingly intimate even if not in a sexual way.

Blast from the past

This guy randomly text me about a two weeks ago that I hadn't heard from in about 3 years. Seriously, 3 years. At least! There are reasons we didn't talk after we played. Yet, here he was texting me like we were BFFs. I was like WTF is going on here. Turns out he came across my phone number and didn't know who I was, so he thought he'd see where it went. Hot, huh? Yea... like I said, there's a reason why we never talked again. I call him The Uninterested Man. I'll have to check my blog roll to see if I ever wrote about him. If I didn't I'll fill you guys in sometime. It was a crazy experience. I tried to get rid of him by telling him of my current status and of course he was one who was like "yea, I'm up for that" eye roll... naturally.

The Fireman

I hear from this guy semi regularly, but he generally only has time (or so he says) for a blow job. As in unreciprocated... Umm... no. I know I've written about him here before somewhere. He's complicated; married to an unknowing wife that he's not only trying to hook up with girls but also guys (he says for BJ only with them) and he can't get an erection if he's cum already in that day. Like apparently at all. So there isn't going to be a round two if you go BJ first if you know what I mean. I haven't told him I'm pregnant because 90% of the time he's texting me it's for a) a BJ booty call which isn't going to happen or b) he's at work overnight and "needs" pics to help him out for a jack session. Sometimes I oblige, other times not so much. Just depends on the mood I guess! lol He's an interesting character, which I guess is why I keep him on the hook enough to keep talking to him. We've played a few times and it went well when we did. For now he's somewhat like watching a train wreck. Sometimes it is pure entertainment just to watch him try to ask for pics or a bj. Maybe it's wrong, (probably is) but he's fun to keep around.

OK, kids that's all I've got. I'll try to be around more ;)

The Wife

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Yes and No

Long time no blog... I think you'll understand why shortly. I contemplated talking about this at all but what the heck, in real life there are things that happen that impact your Swinger Lifestyle. This is definitely one of them...

A few weeks ago The Hubs posted the following on Twitter:

We both waited to see if anyone would take the bait... Only one couple was like umm... WTF?!?!

So the question is, am I? Is it?

Yes and No.

Yes, we're expanding our family. We'll welcome another (our last) kid in early February.
No, it is NOT The Friend's baby! We know this for sure even though we did conceive a few days after Round 2.

Does this mean our Swinging is over?

Yes and No.

This is a complicated answer - so try and stay with me. If we had a steady playmate I think both The Hubs and I would be OK continuing our playtime for a while based on how I was feeling etc. However, at the moment the closest thing we have to a steady is The Friend. And, well he doesn't know yet but when he finds out... I'll be back to a Manatee for sure. And who knows if I'll ever return to Mermaid status.

The irony of all ironies is that when you're pregnant sex is even more amazing. At least at the beginning. The Hubs says my pussy is extra ripply (totally made that word up) and in some positions his cock feels like I'm being fucked and using the Hitachi at the same time. WIN. So ironically this would be a great time to play, but that really doesn't seem to be in our cards so it will be a benefit for The Hubs and me to enjoy.

The No comes into play in that we know this is our final kid. I already have a sense of completion about this one. Something I was always wondering if I'd have or if I'd always long for another cute snuggely baby. So I do think that we'll get back to the fun times as time moves on. Plus, if you've ever been to Eyz Wide Shut you know that there certainly isn't an age limit to swinging. My goodness, sometimes me in my mid-thirties is practically infant status. That and after I lose the baby weight I'm getting the boob implants I've always wanted. So um, why not have fun with them??

Do I miss the drinking, the smoking, the excessive fucking?

Yes and No.

When we went to happy hour with our friends last week was it a semi-bummer to not get a nice cocktail, sure! But that is life, this season will pass and I'll have the rest of my life to be a drunk, high slut. I've come to realize that life really is just about seasons. Nothing lasts forever, so not drinking or smoking ganja is just a season of life and this too shall pass so I'm OK with that. Plus, it's a greater good thing, ya know? If it was "just because" then I may be resentful of The Hubs for being able to partake, but this is for a purpose.

So, for now I'm a pregnant slut. So there won't be many new stories coming out of the blog for a while, but I'm sure I have plenty of old material I can hash out. That is, if this post hasn't sent all of my readers running for the hills!

Until next time...

The Wife

Friday, June 6, 2014

Round Two; Part 3

If you haven't read Part 1 or Part 2 you should go catch up ;)

Side note: The details get fuzzy here, so I'll do my best to give the correct sequence, but after talking to The Hubs the next day it showed that my version and his version were quite different. And clearly I'd enjoyed my last day of drinking a little more than I thought. I would LOVE to have him write it from his perspective, but the last time I tried to get him to do that he basically laughed at me! hahaha

OK, so I'm getting my pussy eaten by The Hubs watching The Friend watch me. After I came on his face I pulled him on to the step where I had been and started sucking his cock. I was letting The Friend adjust to the extra cock in view and figured that if nothing else we would put on a great show. After a while of sucking on The Hubs rock hard cock he told me to go get The Friend and put him on the step where he had been.

The Friend was clearly nervous, but came willingly and I put him on the step, leaning him against the edge of the pool and started sucking his cock. He wasn't hard yet but would get there with some work. I knew it was just nerves and if there was any chance of this continuing I was going to have to chill him the fuck out. He had told me earlier that I was the best blow job he'd ever had. Truth? Who knows, but I was rolling with it. The Hubs had been across the pool giving The Friend some space to adjust and enjoy. I put my hand out behind me and gave the finger signal to come hither...

The Hubs came up behind me and started fucking me as I sucked on The Friend. Occasionally I'd look up and see a grin on The Friend's face. It plainly said "I can't believe this is happening" I probably would have giggled at it if I wasn't wonderfully-distracted by The Hubs sliding his cock in and out of my very, very wet pussy. {and it wasn't from being in the pool ;)}Also, let it be said this is one of my favorite things about an MFM; me in the middle sucking one cock while getting my pussy railed by another from behind. The Hubs and I came together, my pussy sucking his cock in deeper as he pumped into me.

I kept sucking as The Hubs hopped out of the pool and got a drink. I saw him go inside the house and I think that helped The Friend with his nerves. He started getting harder under my tongue and pretty soon he told me that pretty soon he was going to end up breaking a rule. (The Rule is absolutely no cumming in my mouth. It's not a negotiable rule, that is a spot that is ONLY for The Hubs and I share it with no one else. Period.) I stopped immediately. I sat up a bit but kept stroking his cock not wanting the party to end there. He looked around behind him (for The Hubs I guess?) and then pushed me through the water to the other side of the shallow end of the pool.

Pushing me against the wall of the pool he pulled my legs up and shoved his throbbing cock into me. He proceeded to fuck me hard against the wall of the pool. The only problem was I kept smacking my head into the pool's stone edge. I put my hands on the outside trying to keep my head from hitting so I wouldn't die of a head injury later on. I heard a flick of a lighter and realized The Hubs was back outside and enjoying the show.

Again - HOT!

The Friend fucked me hard until he pulled out (to cum in the pool is my theory) and shoved his fingers deep into me and finger fucked me hard. I came again on his fingers enjoying knowing that The Hubs was watching from the dark corner of the patio.

The next thing I know The Hubs is climbing back in the pool next to me. I'm pretty sure I said something along the lines of "oh heeeeeeeeeeey, baby!" I took them both (or so I thought) back to the seat/step, putting The Hubs up on the seat to suck his cock. Realizing The Friend wasn't around I swam over and got him. He played with my pussy for a minute while I sucked on The Hubs but quickly left for the very deep end of the pool. I could tell that was going to be it, and I gave the signal to The Hubs. He switched places with me and fucked me hard on the step. By this point my pussy was so swollen it was sucking his cock in and out on it's own. It was really quite enjoyable...

We finished up and The Hubs got out of the pool and got dressed. I went on a mission to find my bathing suit and then decided to just "fuck it" and got out naked to find my swim cover up. I put it on (backwards and then went to pull it around and again thought "fuck it") The Friend asked The Hubs to grab him another beer, he was staying in the pool for a while. We said our goodbyes and we headed home.

At home I showered off and climbed into bed to a rock hard waiting cock. Another one of my favorite things is the "reclaiming" after we play. We fucked fast and hard and then we both fell over and basically passed out.

What a night!!!

The next day I *may* have walked funny and I definitely felt my swollen, abused pussy every time I sat, walked, moved or breathed in or out ;) But then again, there are few things in life greater than a sex-hangover. After all it's a sure sign of the fucktastic time you had the night before.

The Wife

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Round Two; Part 2

When we left off in Part 1 it was finally just The Hubs, The Friend and me. The Hubs and The Friend were smoking in the pool while I sat out of the pool drinking.

For some reason I had gotten it in my head that if The Friend wanted to fuck me again he'd need to work for it a little. After all I had just watched him trying super hard for The New Chick, why should I just give it away? I was curious if he would even try for me. Also now that The BFFs were gone I knew it was either going to happen or it was going to end in a definitive "no" from The Friend. (see catch #2 in Part 1) So I stayed in the chair, out of reach from everyone and just chilled.

Soon The Hubs (always acting as my pimp!) remarked how I was not in the pool and I should join them. Ok, I thought... here comes the answer. I got in the pool and the three of us continued chatting. We talked about the strip clubs, the swinger clubs and our friends in general. It was an eclectic conversation to say the least. The Friend mentioned the strip club again and his desire to go and The Hubs said "why would you need to go to the strip club, you have boobs right there in front of you. {then to me} Baby, you should take off your top!"

Being drunk and a slut I did it. I swam over and put my top up on the side of the pool and rejoined the boys for conversation. We were all huddled in the deep end where there was a seat. We started talking about our swinging partners and how this guy was into this and that girl was into that. The Friend asked questions as if he still didn't believe us. Eventually The Hubs requested I take my swim bottoms off too. Of course, I obliged and conversation resumed. The Hubs sitting next to me and The Friend floating in front of me. Trying to see if this ball was going to start rolling my legs were floating around The Friend, then back down. Eventually I felt fingers start playing with my pussy. Being drunk and situated between both of them I really didn't know who it was. I assumed it was The Hubs, only to find out it was not.

The Hubs went inside for a beer-run and the fingers continued. Oh, I thought... I guess he's making a move. When Hubs returned to us in the pool we started talking about how the guys in the MFM handle being around cock. I really think The Friend can't visualize another man being OK with an MFM with his wife unless the guys were also bi-sexual. As many times as I've explained that The Hubs is 100% straight as an arrow and never has any contact with the other men I think there is a part of him that just can't wrap his head around it. At one point The Hubs put his hand down in the pool to play with my pussy and their hands ran into each other. To say The Friend quickly backed up would be an understatement. I don't know, maybe he thought he was "busted" even though clearly I was naked in front of my husband. I get it, swing lifestyle is intimidating especially when you're talking about real life friends who you don't care to lose. But, also I can only tell you something so many times. And clearly The Hubs was well aware of everything going on.

I made a comment about how I love having two cocks but sadly he couldn't handle making me a sandwich. It was then that he protested saying he could in fact handle it.... Well, OK then... "So why am I the only one naked in this pool then?" I said and just like that both boys disrobed.


The Friend had swam across the width of the deep end to take his off, so The Hubs pulled me down to the large step in the shallow end. He went under water and began eating me out. Let me say for the record if you ever have the chance to have The Hubs lick your pussy DO IT. I've had others attempt it and let me just say married to him or not - NO ONE compares. Even while drowning himself under water he worked his magic tongue over me. The Friend watched from across the pool as I wriggled on the step under my favorite tongue until I came all over The Hubs' face.

Last part coming soon....

The Wife

Saturday, May 31, 2014

Round Two; Part 1

Well.... I was wrong. I distinctly remember believing that The Friend and I would never fuck again. But, 10 months later I can officially say I was very, very wrong.

After we had our fun last summer things went back to normal. And by "normal" I mean the two of us flirting with each other and the line of appropriateness. It seemed he had a new found comfort of sorts with me; often telling me secrets about his escapades. Yes, that's right this slut isn't his only indiscretion. But then again, he's not my only either! So it was all good.

Then came the invitation to a birthday/pool party for my BFF, but hosted at The Friend's house. Then I heard that The Girlfriend would be out of town. HA! I thought, well this should be interesting. The Hubs heard that and started plotting. He spent all week before the party getting me worked up with dirty talk about what he and The Friend would do to me after everyone else cleared out of the party. Not gonna lie, the thought of having both of them at the same time was HOT. I was pretty much dripping wet every time he mentioned it. The catch (isn't there always a catch) however, was threefold.

First - it was of utmost importance that I NOT let The BFF or other friends find out about this. In reality they probably know more than they should about our lifestyle but really nobody wants them to find out about this particular sexcapade. Like for real. So it was key to not let anything happen until/if we were left to the 3 of us.

Second - The Friend has always been clear about his uncertainty about being in a MFM. He and The Hubs are friends, but was he sure he could be that close to The Hubs with a hard cock? He was skeptical which is why I broke my own rule of no playing alone last year when we played. The planning with The Hubs was so hot, but in the end would The Friend be able/interested if it wasn't alone?

Third - there was a scheduling conflict and it meant The Hubs was unable to be at the party until late. This meant if there was any flirtation I would have to shut it down immediately as to not fuck up the first wrinkle. And, this was my last day of drinking for a while so The Hubs & I pretty much knew I would be drunk so it was doubly important that I remember to NOT. FUCK. THIS. UP.

When I got there it was a small gathering, just a few friends with only two people I didn't know very well. They had all been drinking and swimming for a while before I arrived so I did my part to catch up. We swam and drank and The BFF's Hubs made me a drink so strong even I had to sip it slowly. Eventually the crowd changed and The New Chick arrived. She was cute; blond, good body and from the stories we'd heard quite the party girl. Pretty soon it was clear that I was not on The Friend's radar at all. He had zeroed in on his new conquest and was doing it up pretty good to score with her.

Now, let it be said I admit I was disappointed in this turn of events. I'd had a week plus of talking to The Hubs about having the two of them together and the whole fantasy was slipping away pretty quickly. I mean, even if she wasn't hotter than me (which she was) there is a phrase every man will understand - "there ain't no pussy like new pussy" - am I right? And she was new pussy and totally hotter than I am, it was a total no-brainer. So I had determined that it wasn't going to happen. The saving grace was I'd still get to go home with The Hubs and he would be the sole benefactor of my built up lust. No longer worrying about my alcohol intake I lived it up. I honestly have no idea how many drinks I had but I was no longer feeling awkward or anything else. I was just a girl hanging with her friends having a good time.

The Hubs arrived, the party continued and eventually the crowd dwindled. Eventually The New Chick decided it was time for her to leave. We all watched as The Friend did everything he could to get her to stay, literally walking her out to the car for one last chance. We all soon realized he had never come back from walking her out. I went inside to investigate. (hello, nosey!)

I found him sulking in his bed, alone. She had denied him and he wasn't thrilled. I came in and gave him a hard time about ditching all of us etc. He told me how he'd really wanted her to stay and how he'd been told she was such a party girl but she had just left, and how could she have just left??? I laid down next to him but not with him and listened to him bitch and moan about getting rejected. I guess at some point he then realized that I was still there and he decided to ask me for just a blow job. "Just stick it in your mouth for a sec" he said. Yea, right I thought - even in my drunkeness I knew it would not be a "just the tip" situation and I was NOT going to fuck up the only rule The Hubs had given me. (see catch #1) I somewhat convinced him to come back to the party and we both stood up. He then grabbed my bathing suit bottoms and stuck his finger into the top V of my pussy. He remarked how I was always so wet and he loved it. I told him again we needed to rejoin the party. His response was to push me down on the bed and climb up on top of me. With both had our bathing suits on and I wrapped my legs around him and explained that we couldn't do this right now because The Hubs had specifically asked me not to do anything while The BFFs were around. Just then the bedroom door opened and there stood The Hubs. Once again he was running interference for me and informed us that others were wondering where the hell we were. I followed The Hubs and eventually The Friend came back to the rest of the party.

The crowd dwindled more and more and eventually it was just the three of us and The BFFs. The boys were in the pool discussing how they wanted to go to the strip club later that night. Again The Friend was showing no signs (despite what we had just done) of wanting to stick around to hang with me so again I determined nothing was going to happen.

Eventually The BFFs left, and then there were three.

To be continued.....

The Wife