Thursday, August 1, 2013


I'll never claim to have a "perfect" marriage. I don't really think those exist because everyone has a different idea of "perfect". I will say I love my life. I love my family and I love the way we trust each other. But even with a strong foundation of trust sometimes insecurities slip in. 

For me, the over thinker that I am, I often wonder if The Hubs is really "Ok" with this or that. Mainly it centers around my flirtation in real life because, let's face it, tis a potentially sticky situation. 

I mean, I know he loves me being naughty, but is he really OK with it crossing over into our real lives?

Many years ago we used to hang out with our two best guy friends almost every night. It would have been a slut's dream if I had been sluttier back then! Three good-looking dudes and me, spending lots of time together. Mmmm (Damnit, talk about lost opportunities!) 

One of the two was one of those people I would describe as "sexually-charged", and his energy often spurred me on. We would make slightly (or hugely) inappropriate jokes and flirt probably more than we should have. The Hubs would often say to me "Geeeeeze, why don't you two just bang already" (haha foreshadowing to our future swinger life I guess)

To my knowledge he wasn't ever truly bothered by the flirtation. But there are two big difference between then and now ... #1. We really are in a swinger life now, so actually fucking someone IS a "real" possibility whereas back then it was a joke. And #2. We're talking 1998-2001ish here, we didn't have text messaging or all that. Any flirting was done front and center in front of everyone to see, with no possibility for picture sharing. Which takes out the "Internet strength" factor. And, truth be told I had significantly less confidence so I am sure my flirting was vanilla by today's standards!

So... what's a girl to do?? Honestly, I often don't act after waaaay overthinking every step of the way. (at least when I'm sober) But I also have to trust that The Hubs is being honest with me about how he feels. Because in the end upsetting my love The Hubs is not worth the fun of the moment. 

The Wife


  1. Trust me, The Hubs is being straight up with you. Having read your blogs and getting to know you two along with having been married myself for almost 30 years, I think I can be confident in what I said.

  2. As the male half of a swinging marriage, we have been in this situation. To tell you the truth, I think it's hot but sometimes I feel uncomfortable because of what the other guys might be thinking. I don't want to piss anyone off or make them uncomfortable. Recently we were at our vanilla couple friends house and she (actually innocently) did a little flirting with the husband and the wife was looking like, "umm, what was that?" I shot the wife a look and then everyone was quiet. Turns out it was funny, but it could have gone wrong!