If you've followed along for any period of time you probably already know that "sober" is not often used to describe me. No, I'm not an alcoholic, I'm not a drug addict. I just don't think there is anything wrong with partaking in such pleasures when doing it "responsibly"*.
I drink. And I smoke weed. Frequently. However, there are times when sobriety is a neccesity. And for right now, I'm in one of those phases of life. For medical reasons I've had to give up weed for the past 2 weeks. At some point soon I'll have to give up alcohol for a while too. If things go as planned I'll be without those and any form of those for about a year while my body goes through some stuff. Yes, I'm fine. No, I don't plan on telling you what is going on ;)
Would I have chosen to give these things up? No.
Am I sorry I did? No, this is a greater good kind of situation.
Do I plan on going back to using them both when I am able to again? Without a doubt.
Does that make me an addict? No! Am I addicted because I "miss" them? No. I honestly don't believe that. I drink socially and responsibly and I use weed not to par-tay down, but more for it's medical benefits.
See, for me, a chronic overthinker and anxiety sufferer, weed helps like nothing else. Yes, I take daily medication perscribed by my doctor but really it only takes the constant roar of anxiety down a peg or two. Whereas weed helps turn the volume almost all the way down. I actually have a blog post about this which is stuck in forever-draft status as sharing would probably be too personal**. Here is an excerpt:
I am an over-thinker. A constant-wonderer. An over-analyzer, and I. Hate. It.
"Just stop!" You say? Not so simple. Oh how I wish it was. It may be the biggest pet peeve I have about myself. And if you know me, that says a lot.
Because of the constant over-thinking I'm almost never truly comfortable. Even with people I know and trust I think deeply into their words, actions, inactions etc. I wonder, I ponder and I replay it all over and over again in my head. Usually it just leads to more unanswered questions.Pretty much I'm a big ole bag of crazy. But, I manage to deal. Now, being completly sober it is a little more complicated to deal. But, in the long run I'll manage. Like I said... it's a greater good situation and afterall it is only temporary.
So hang in there with me, kids... it's going to be a crazy ride...
* I put "responsibly" in quotes because lets face it, is there a "responsible" way to partake in illegal drugs like pot? Not really, but - am I doing it when in charge of children? No. So I that's what I mean by "responsible"
**Yes, I realize that I am willing to share my body and my stories but consider my rambling about my crazy as "too personal"