The top theory of The No Show is that he was married/attached and that is why he dropped off the face of the planet. I'm going with that one or a stupid Catfish situation. Either way, it is annoying when people are untruthful about their status. In fact, I recently sent out a tweet saying something about how this or that was "probably married"... I was asked "is that a problem?" and the answer to that is not as easy as it may seem.
I'd be a big ole hypocrite if I said I was anti-married people. I'd be an even bigger one if I said I had an issue with if the person had permission or not. After all, The Friend is in a long-term relationship and we all know how much that stopped me... And helloooo, I am married too. So clearly I'm ok with blurring the lines.
Here is the distinction though. If you are honest and say to me up front that you are married/attached and you do not have permission I may not like it (cheating is really a nasty thing) but if all of the other factors fall into place who am I to judge you? But... it does adds an extra layer of complication. And that is, if nothing else, annoying.
Now on top of schedules, interest, location etc we have to contend with the fact that we're trying to keep something on the DL from your partner. That means I need to remember when I can and can't text you. And really, do I have the time or brain power to remember such things? No! So chances are at some point I'll accidentally reach out to you when you're unable to talk. So have a good story ready. Or save my name in your phone as a guy's name.
It takes all spontaneity out of the playtime. True, as a parent The Hubs and I don't have that much "spontaneous play time" but on the rare occasion after little people are asleep we sneak a playmate in for some fun. This is almost always a "hey lets see if blah blah blah can play tonight" rather than a planned event. If you're married/attached you're probably working around your wife/girlfriend's schedule. Meaning there is no booty call.
I ain't got no time for your drama. This hasn't happened yet...knock on wood...but I have low tolerance for drama. I don't need an angry woman calling me up or God-forbid showing up on my doorstep because I fucked her husband/boyfriend. Seriously, ain't nobody got time for that...
So I try to not find guys that are attached, but all of you men out there playing on the DL for the love of all things you gotta be honest about it with your playmates. Otherwise you're more likely to fall victim to example #1 leading to example #3. And I repeat.... Ain't NOBODY got time for that.