Rejection

Recently I was chatting online with a potential playmate who was funny, easy to talk to and seemed to be very laid back and a good guy. We decided to meet for a drink late after we went to another function. 

He showed up (on time at that! Sadly even showing up seems to be tough for single men these days) and upon introductions the first word that ran through my head was "creepy". Uh oh...

Thinking I was just crazy or too far into my head we went inside the bar and ordered our drinks. As we chatted I did my best to make myself relax and go with the flow. The Complimenter was not creepy at all. He was a very nice and "normal" average guy. He spoke to both The Hubs and I equally with ease and the conversation flowed easily, yet I couldn't get over one major problem.

What exactly was my problem, you may wonder? Well... despite the good humor, polite, reliability, ease of conversation and things in common there was absolutely no physical attraction for me. To make matters worse (for my guilt) he told me no less than 4 times how beautiful I am. Meaning - I'm really the only one not on board and this guy is doing everything right. I sipped slowly frozen with confusion unable to even determine which side of the fence I was leaning toward. The Hubs was having a good conversation with him so I was able to juggle listening and the inner struggle of can I fuck this guy even if I'm not feeling "it" for him or do I reject a perfectly nice guy who's clearly into me?

The Hubs kept trying to get my green light or red light and I could only provide a confused face that kept him baffled. Eventually, the beers were finished and The Hubs said, well let's go on back to the house and continue our conversation there. In that instant I knew which side of the fence I was on, and it wasn't on the side that was hoping this guy was coming home with us. However, to make things worse I could not articulate my feelings to The Hubs because I was still struggling with the fact that this would be my first rejection to give.

Yes, I know it's bound to happen every once in a while. Rejection is part of life, but at some point there is a first for everyone - and this was mine. I told The Complimenter I wasn't feeling well and we parted ways on nice having met each other and we'd keep in touch if we wanted to play. I'm sure he realized that he was being rejected but at least he was nice about it.

Days later and I'm still going back and forth on if I could or would have had fun if I had just let him come over.  Oh well... I guess we'll never know.

Still feeling like an ass

The Wife