Friday, July 15, 2011

Big Fat FAKE!


In this lifestyle you run into all sorts of people. Some good, some bad, some ugly and some just so strange they can't be categorized. But above all my favorites are The Fakes.

I give points for creativity to the single man I once saw who listed his profile as a couple seeking playmates but said on the profile that he was single but the website had a virus that kept changing his profile to list him as couple rather than single. At least there was some thought put into it! It's a stretch to say the least, but at least he tried.

I roll my eyes at the men who list themselves as a couple, but when you chat they are always away from their spouse.  She's always working, traveling, sleeping or something. If these aren't fakers there is an army of well rested, hard working, well traveled women out there, and I'm jealous!

 But, for crying out loud no matter what scheme you run, if you are going to take the time to make every word you say a lie then at least make your picture believable. And by believable I mean a few basic ideas:

1. Don't use celebrity faces. Seriously, we know you aren't Jennifer Anniston and yes, amazingly we know who Jennifer Anniston is - even if you use a really old picture of her.

2. Don't take a picture of a porno on the tv or computer screen. You would think this would go without saying, but apparently not. I can't tell you how annoyed I am when I open up a picture to see a picture of a tv or computer screen IN the picture. I've started to actually tell people how disgusted I am with their lack of effort when I get these. I mean, take some pride in your work here people!

3. Don't send a picture that is clearly from 1973. When you're standing in an avocado green kitchen with pink shag carpet under your feet and it looks like the picture has been washed and faded out I'm not likely to believe that you are real.

4. If you're sending multiple pictures make sure it's of the same people - or for goodness sake - at least roughly the same body type/hair colors!!!

Really, if you follow those 4, you'll at least get pictures emailed back to you! Isn't that your end goal anyway? You're not there to meet (because then your game is up) you are only there to collect free porn pictures! No thank you!!


Dumbfounded,
The Wife

3 comments:

  1. We've come across too many fakes to count in the 3 years we've been swinging, it gets so irritating that we've taken a break from the lifestyle for months at a time.

    BTW, waaaay back when Veronica and I were thinking about trying swinging, we regularly read a blog called "Tales of a Swinger" and she went by "SwingerWife". Obviously your name reminded me of her. Just thought I'd share that.

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  2. We've been pretty lucky so far. I guess our fake-dar must be pretty good. Interestingly enough, Hubby is the one that does most of the networking for us; he's just better at it. He's said that there have been a couple times someone stopped chatting because they obviously though he was a faker pretending to be a couple. Ironically... I am the one that ends up giving the "polite no thank you's". So basically, if you are getting an email from me, there is a good chance we are turning you down. LOL

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