Thursday, September 8, 2011

Reserved Swinger

We recently started talking to a couple that had an all too familiar-of-late issue. The problem is talking to the swinger wives is like pulling teeth. Maybe I'm a swinger slut or something, but even with my full time job, and full time life as wife to The Hubs and mother to our kid I can find time to chat, instant message, text and or picture trade with a potential date. Yes, there are times when I can't respond to you right away, but if you want to chat I'll generally be able to. And when I chat I actually talk. I have opinions and thoughts and I'm OK sharing them and my wants and desires. After all, for me the build up is half of the fun. Let's face it, the hotter you get me the hotter the fucking with be, right?

Maybe you don't like the chatting but if you aren't talking it's hard to even gauge interest level. If we can't tell if you're interested then how do we know if we are bothering you or proceeding down the right path? I'm not saying you have to have text message sex or trade porn pics every single day, but if The Hubs reaches out to you and says "hi" at least a hello in response would at least show that you are not highly annoyed at our disturbing your day. I mean, come on - we've all had one of those stage 5 clingers who we can't quite shake. They are no fun, and we certainly do not ever want to be one of those types of people. Hell, The Hubs has one that even though at least 5 months has passed since it became clear they would never play she is still hounding him with texts. At least it has slowed from the 24/7 pace she had at the start...

After having enough of this couple I flat out asked him, is your wife liking The Hubs or what because she flat out won't even respond to his texts sometimes yet you are coming over on Saturday night to play? His response - "yes she very much likes him, she's just reserved"

Let's let that sink in... a "Reserved Swinger".... Riiiiiight...


Where to begin on this -

1. Loosen up or get out of the lifestyle. Be shy, I get it I'm shy too at first but there is no reason to be shy about a hello message. If you're that uptight maybe you aren't ready for this?

2. I know life is happening and you can't always talk. I'm not saying hold endless, all day chat sessions and ignore the rest of your life. And I get that some people are just chattier than others. But you HAVE to find some way to make it clear that you are interested or it is a) no fun and b) not going to happen! which brings us to

3. We are not going to chase you. If you don't seem interested we are not going to continue to harass you. If you are interested show it, and we'll have fun or at least explore us having fun. But please, let me be clear on this... we do this for fun, it is in absolutely no way, shape or form anything other than something we do for fun together. We have a phenomenal sex life with each other alone, so if you aren't interested cool, we're not missing out because we have each other - so again - we will not chase you.

The other problem is it is no fun for me to be sexting it up with a potential playmate if The Reserved Wife is cock blocking The Hubs. I enjoy reading what he's talking about with the other women, be it normal chatting or sexy talk. The whole thing is naughty, and that's part of the appeal for me - so when he's met with brick wall after brick wall the mood is lost for everyone!

Oy...


The Wife

5 comments:

  1. We totally agree with you--at least make an effort, show a little interest, something, anything. We don't want to chase (or for that matter annoy) anyone.

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  2. I can see your point, but just because they are swingers doesnt mean their personalities cease. If they are reserved in normal modes, most likely they will be in the lifestyle as well. We tend to let people know up front that she isnt into lots of text and chat. But if we arent interested we say so. I on the other hand love to chat it up.
    I disagree that just because someone swings they automatically get put into a singular category. There will be mild to wild and all things in between. Accept each person for what they are and what they bring. Dont label every swinger the same way. We are way different than many I have met up with. And thats a good thing.

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  3. I agree not all swingers are the same, and for me that is one of the best aspects of the lifesytle. But if someone says hello you should say hello back. That isn't asking you to strip down naked and get to naughty time right there, but a common courtesy to respond.
    If you don't respond to "hello" then what would make me think you are interested in play time?

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