Monday, September 19, 2011
A word of advice...
This question is the gateway to a dangerous path. I think people either have the capability of being a swinger or they don't. Now I'm not saying everyone knows that they'd be OK (or for that matter, not OK) with the lifestyle. But I also don't think we can or should "convince" someone. Maybe educate them, but you have to honor their comfort levels.
I am 100% positive if The Hubs had come to me talking about becoming a "swinger" I would have balked at the term alone. Well behaved, good Christian girls like me don't do such things, after all! But, he eased me into the thought. Over the years of sharing our fantasies and growing together both emotionally and sexually we were able to build a solid foundation to experiment and push the lines to find our comfort levels.
In the end you'll be happy you made sure your mate was comfortable. Nothing feels worse than looking over and realizing your mate isn't having fun. So I would advise strongly to ensure that your partner is fully on board.
By the way, my advice to the hub who asked me... start slow and tell his wife a fantasy that includes other people and see from her reaction where it goes. There may be an outward knee jerk reaction, but pay attention and see what happens. If you don't trust your partner's reaction then you probably aren't cut out for the lifestyle anyway. Just keep in mind that in the end you have to respect their wishes, and if it's a no who knows maybe down the road you can visit it again.
Would you have offered different advice, or think I'm OK in what I'm dishing out?