Saturday, June 30, 2012

Nobility sucks

Recently in a (very) drunk text The Friend admitted that if he didn't think it would hurt his friendship with The Hubs then he would have fucked me long ago already.

My first thought was "seriously how much more do you need to know that he's ok with it??!"

You see last weekend at my birthday drink-a-thon The Hubs personally told The Friend that if he had not brought his girl that night he was going to send me home with him. (something we've never done before - whole other topic)

When I reminded him of this fact he said oh, he was just kidding.

I literally laughed out loud. I respect his true friendship and nobility. Truly, I do. But, it's more than that. It's also that he still doesn't really think The Hubs could possibly be ok with it. For a split second I thought "he needs to see naughty twitter (without actually giving my name of course) or send him to the AFF site. Give him a glimpse of the swinger community. Maybe the he would understand how The Hubs could consider sharing me with him. But then I realized that's just crazy. He has to figure this situation out in his head on his own. If he isn't totally comfortable that The Hubs is cool it would be an uncomfortable if we ever did play.

He will either eventually balls up or it will be a never itch that never gets scratched.

The Wife

Friday, June 29, 2012

Formspring Friday... First Orgasm

Formspring Friday: First Orgasm

How and when did you first orgasm and what was it like?

The Hubs and I began having sex when I was only 16, so as you can imagine most of our time together was quiet and quick to not get caught. So when we got an opportunity one weekend to get a hotel room an hour away from my parents I knew we were in for a good time.

I didn't know how good though...

We spent the weekend fucking. And for the first time I could be as loud as I wanted (or needed) to be. And with this weekend, loud-cummer Jane was born.

It felt like my entire body was exploding and my screams of pleasure were a direct result of my entire body explosion.

It was amazing and even though so, so many more orgasms have followed The Hubs and I both remember the fun of the weekend at the Holiday Inn!

The Wife

A new outfit

I graduated with honors...

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Birthday Drunkeness

Friday night we went out drinking for my birthday. By drinking I mean, The Wife got drunk. Super drunk. I have no idea how many drinks I had but I was drinking rum and it was going down smooth. It was the perfect recipe for a happy hour; a seat at the bar under the air condition, good friends and an attentive bartender. I was sitting the entire time, so I wasn't feeling the immediate impact of the liquor, but it was certainly building...

That much alcohol usually leads to memory loss, and this night was certainly no different. I remember leaving the bar, then I'm at home and the next thing I knew it was morning. I have flashes of memory from the night, including a mysterious goodbye with The Friend's girl. I only remember the surprised look on her face. I have no idea what I said to her. I can only hope it wasn't "Hey, I've been wanting to bang your man for a while now" I am left to hope that since she hasn't clawed my eyes out yet I'm in the clear. For all I rambled incoherently... I hope...

Then there was the texting...

Drunk texting is a perfect technological update to drunk dialing... Because when you're super drunk, and don't remember any of what you said - you have a complete account of everything. Yep. I even took pictures that I don't remember taking. Luckily I passed out before I posed or sent them to anyone! Below is an actual with my BFF . Clearly I had no idea what I was talking about!

But my personal favorite were the gem tweets that I sent out... By the way, you should know I thought to myself before I checked twitter - "Oh, I passed out before even tweeting anything last night, I bet they're going to tease me about passing out before even being able to drunk tweet"... little did I know that this is what I had sent....

 and this...

What can I say? I was having a good night.
Best part of it?

I woke up feeling totally fine the next day. I give my Grandfather credit for passing along fine Irish genes for holding liquor. But really, I always want to high five my body for a job well done too.

The Wife

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Sex Laws

I saw this link and thought it was too good not to share!

America's top ten strangest sex laws:

1. Oral sex is illegal in 18 states, including Arizona.
2. In Virginia, it is illegal to have sex with the lights on.
3. It is illegal for husbands in Willowdale, Oregon, to talk dirty during intercourse.
4. Sexual intercourse between unmarried couples is illegal in Georgia.
5. Engaging in any sexual position other than missionary is illegal in Washington, DC.
6. In Connorsville, Wisconsin, it is illegal for a man to shoot off a gun when his female partner is having an orgasm.
7. In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, it is illegal to have sex with a truck driver inside a toll booth.
8. Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal in Florida.
9. It is illegal in Utah to marry your first cousin before the age of 65.
10. Sex with animals is perfectly legal for men in Washington state, as long as the animal weighs less than 40 pounds.


Monday, June 18, 2012

Question & Answer

This is a sticky situation...


We recently met another couple at a lifestyle club. We haven't played with them together, but we have played with the hub in a MMMFF situation, and I have played with him in one-on-one situation (with the blessing of BOTH spouses). During our one-on-one, they hung out together at the club and talked. Since it was our first full separate room swap, she spent the time reassuring him- telling him how much I loved him and how I wouldn't leave him. She and I have always been very friendly and have even talked about doing girlfriend stuff together (mains-pedis, etc). Before we started doing full swap, she even offered me advice on jealousy. We have even gone out to dinner and a show (no sex!) with the couple- that was the last time we saw them until this weekend at the club. I never am flirty until he is, and when we all went out together I kept my hands on my own husband (not hers!). It seemed everything went well and we received a friendly text the next day saying they had a great time (from her). However, this weekend when we saw them at the club, she was very cold and he told me that she was feeling that I was falling in love with him. There is absolutely nothing inappropriate going on on my part- I love my husband and have for the past 10 years! Our intimacy and sex life has been enhanced by this experience. However, I don't know how to handle this situation. I do know that they played with a past couple where the female became clingy- but I only have her contact info. I don't even have any way to contact him other than when we see each other at the club. I am completely confused by where this came from, and a little heartbroken. While I enjoy having sex and flirting with him, I really like her and value her friendship. We want to keep this couple around- we like them on other levels besides sex- and I don't want to lose a playmate over a concern that doesn't exist.
How can I handle this situation? How would you handle this situation?


Keeping in mind this is just an opinion from one Swinger Wife to another, and I'm sorry to say but I don't think this relationship is going to work out for you guys. To me, it sounds like it's possible that you could salvage a friendship with them but that is iffy.

For whatever reason that woman has started to doubt the situation, and in my experiences once someone isn't 100% comfortable it turns to shit. She very well may be a total loon - but as you can imagine once we wives have something in our heads it is so difficult to get it out. Any flirtation will be amplified in her brain and since you're the outsider you'll be blamed even if it is blatantly her husband's doing.

We had an experience with an uncomfortable wife a few months ago. It started out great, with all four of us getting along both vanilla and heavy flirtation. But before we could play she turned cold. We thought she was just shy and kept rolling with the relationship. The first time we played it became obvious that she was uncomfortable with his attraction to me. It didn't help that he was a total moron and thought he should whisper something to me during our playtime. (I was like HUH!?!)  All she saw was him whispering in my ear and you can imagine the jealousy that followed.

She was pretty much an Ice Princess to me from then on. Only warming up about 1/2 way with The Hubs when we played one final time. We cut off communication shortly afterward and I can't say that I've missed them after the way it ended.

Tread lightly, but I think that's a wrap on that one.

Good luck!

The Wife

Monday, June 4, 2012

The Rules and General Practices

This image seemed to work even for my naughty rules!

They're everywhere aren't they? Seems everywhere you look someone is imposing a new rule. While being given a set of rules doesn't sound like something that is fun in the swing lifestyle for us it's key.

The Hubs and I have a set of rules that we have long ago agreed upon together. Don't go thinking we're all high maintenance and all that, it's only three rules and one of them is that condoms are a must. (I think I've rambled on the condom debate once before...) The Rules are in place so that both The Hubs and I know we are within the boundaries that we have set together. This means no matter what the situation (even if we stray from our "norms" like playing alone instead of same room) we know these limits are in place and it's one less thing to worry about and we can focus on the fun of the event(s).

Everyone is comfortable with different things, and if you've never been in the "I-wonder-if-my-spouse-is-ok-with-this" or "fuck-I-know-that-look" situation you probably agree with me that worrying about what is or isn't OK with your spouse is not the most sexy feeling in the world. Plus, if you've talked about this with your potential playmates before you get together to play there is less guess work and more time for fun.

Of course, where there are rules there will be an asshole who will break them. Our first MFM experience was many years ago. It was our first and last for a very long time because our playmate felt he didn't need to follow the rule (at that time it was just ONE!). He was "asked to leave" (read: thrown out on his ass) and dressed himself on our front porch. 


As for General Practices these aren't hard & fast, just what we're used to. For example, we're full swap, same room. It's all we've ever done and what we prefer - but we are open to possibilities. It's not a rule, hard and fast but just what we do the most. Would we do separate room, possibly. Would we do soft swap, possibly. (although so far I think it's a waste of time) But my three rules won't change if I was in a new situation/experience.

For us, it works. Maybe there are couples that have no rules at all and anything goes. That's cool for you, it's not what works for us, but as with so many things in this lifestyle it's all about personal boundaries.

What about you, any rule lists shorter or longer than mine? What crosses the line for you and your spouse?

The Wife

Friday, June 1, 2012

First Impressions are everything...

Last week I got an email on our AFF account asking me if I wanted to text with this guy. I explained that we don't normally text at first, that usually we use instant messenger or emails to get to know each other before. (Because, let's face it - it's a lot easier to delete someone out of your life when they don't have your phone number)

But - I said, oh well I'm getting drunk tonight so we'll see if I can make an exception, send me your phone number. He responded right away and The Hubs and I went off to drink with friends...Fast forward to 10 pm - only 4 hours after HE sent ME his phone number asking me to text him. (keep remembering that part) So I was drunk (I know, you're shocked) so I text him.

No response...

No response..At this point I'm pretty amazed, but think oh well, I guess I've gotten my answer about this guy!

 3 days later I get a response. As you can see from the above picture it was a totally ridiculous answer. I didn't respond. And yes, you've missed your "opertunity" because if you don't have the respect for me in the first conversation we have (or attempt to have) then you're not going to work out and I'm going to save myself the headache!

Remember, you never get a second chance at a first impression...

The Wife