Tuesday, June 18, 2013

What are the odds

The 2011 census shows my city in FL had a population of 346,000. So it isn't so shocking that The Hubs and I have yet to run into a playmate or even someone we have seen at the club out in real life. That is, until tonight. 

We went out to dinner with our BFFs. It was crowded and we ended up sitting where people were standing while waiting to order. I happened to look up and thought to myself, "hmm that guy looks familiar..." And then it hit me. 

OMG, it was The Secretive Man. 

We always knew there was some lie going on with this guy. He either had a girlfriend or was married. He was shady and weird about questions. He claimed to have "roommates" that he couldn't chat in front of. (As in text... Duh)

Once, I asked him about his tattoo and he fumbled all over himself so poorly trying to figure out a way to not give me any information that even I felt uncomfortable for asking. I remember laughing to The Hubs that I felt like I had asked a CIA operative some national security question the way he reacted. Something was just off about him. 

We played once. And he continues to randomly text me every once in a while looking to play. The last time was within the last month. I usually ignore the texts from him never expecting to see him again. 

And then there he was. Right next to his lovely wife. 

Ha! I almost spit my taco across the table while I laughed out loud. Well, I guess we were right...

The Wife

When things go quiet

Have you ever had a fantasy for what seemed like forever. Maybe sometimes you get to get the chance to let it play out. But sometimes the fantasy runs its course without ever coming true in the slightest sense.

I don't know why, but it seems this is the case for The Friend. At least on one side of the fantasy. And unfortunately for me, it is on his end.

The Hubs thinks I'm a tad crazy, and maybe that is true. But I can see a remarkable difference in him toward me since our Stupid Move. And in the time since the night in the bar hallway there has been no flirtation. At. All. This despite having multiple opportunities both face-to-face and by text and yet, no takers. Which for this guy may as well be a sign of the impending apocalypse.

So how do you go from wanting naughty pics of me on your birthday and kissing me in the hall 25ft from your unknowing-girlfriend to no interest in me by my birthday when the two are only one month apart? 

And men think we women are complicated? I just want to have sex with this guy, not marry or date him. I'm not looking for a grand romance just some naked time with his cock. All things he so badly wanted just one month ago. Yet now... crickets.

Being that I am a) nosey and b) one of those people who likes to "learn" from every situation (especially a failed situation) I would really like to know WTF happened. Did his girlfriend get too close and he felt the need to back off? Did one of our other friends figure it out and counsel him to leave it alone? Did I say/do something that turned the tables? Did I come on too strong?What. Happened?


I may never know. And that (to me) may be more frustrating than leaving the fantasy unfulfilled.

The Wife

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

To play or not to play...

I have said it many times before, swinging is not a replacement for anything lacking in my sex-life with The Hubs. It is simply something we do together for fun in addition to our private fun. So what happens when "quality" playmates don't seem to be available and you hit a lull? Do you play with someone who may be less than ideal or go without? 

What is better; bad or none?

Every so often I get a random text from a past playmate, The Gapperton. We played one time about two years ago and have not spoken since. Literally, no communication after we played. Why? A few reasons, but one of which was the biggie. The sex just wasn't any good.

It happens. Sometimes just don't do it for your playmate. This was one of those times. His cock was on the slim side, I was really drunk and he came very, very quickly. It was a poor combination of factors but it just wasn't very thrilling. Sure, the freak factor of it was hot (being a slut for The Hubs always does that for me) but other than that it was a total dud. 

So why would I have any desire to play with him again? The chances of his making a huge come-back in the sack are slim, and I've already got a hugely satisfying cock in The Hubs. So I just don't see the point in trying again. I know  I'm not having to beat the guys off with a stick over here but there are so many single men out there, why not try someone else rather than an almost guaranteed dud. 

So for me, I pick "none" over "bad". I am perfectly good fucking The Hubs until someone more appealing enters the arena!

The Wife

Monday, June 3, 2013


There comes a certain time in every play date. And that would be the time to leave. Yes, it is true, no matter how awesome the time was there will come a time you're ready for your playmate to get the fuck out. 

If you're in the same room that may lead to an awkward moment. What if you're not done but the other couple is? Do you sit around and watch? Get dressed and go sit on the couch? What if the other couple wants to keep going and going but you're a one-and-done pairing?  So many possible scenarios, and so many can be awkward. 

We once met a couple who had a unique way of avoiding these potentially awkward times. They said it so matter-of-factly too; we would simply get two hotel rooms, do our play and meet for breakfast the next day to re-swap spouses. This gave each of us the entire night and morning tp have our fill of our playmate. 

Talk about giving a whole new meaning to the phrase "full swap"!

I'm pretty sure I started laughing when she said it, I was sure she was joking! I mean, overnight?! Same hotel but no seeing The Hubs until the next day? No rehashing the details and "reclaiming" each other after play? Sleep together as in sleep? With your husband, not mine? Like with snoring and morning breath? 

Uhh... Really? 

It is one thing if you're away and have permission from your spouse to play, obviously you would be apart for that. But this was very different. He would be down the hall, or even next door yet we'd be apart. All I could imagine was going to bed after the sex and having my playmate listen to my snores. Then waking up to my stinky morning breath and crazy sleep-hair. Talk about a turn-on! Woo baby... Hot. Stuff. 

This episode was over two years ago and I still find it just as odd. For some reason to me this crosses too closely into real-life mode. Swinging is about the NSA sex, for fun... and for me I don't think that includes my sleeping and morning routines. 

You know that phrase "a face only a mother could love?" I kind of think that applies to any snoring, morning breath, talking in your sleep etc. that comes with the intimacy of an overnight sleepover. These are things only a spouse can love. Or hate, but still find you lovable and sexy despite it all. 

Either way. ;)

The Wife