Friday, March 30, 2012

Well, actually...

If you must know, getting busted wasn't our first time getting caught.

About a year ago we were on a web cam kick. Almost nightly I was putting on a show on AFF. Most of the time I was blowing The Hubs. Always with the cam set up just out of view of my entire face as to keep my privacy. On occasion it would be The Hubs doing something to me, and that is how I was found by The Crush.

High school, that is.

But I'm jumping ahead... So here I am one night on cam, taking a dildo to myself while The Hubs reads the incoming comments and instant messages. If there were any good ones he would tell me about them and get me even more turned on. I sit laying back enough so my face is off of the cam but I can still see any profiles or messages that come up. A message popped up from a single man with a pretty lame opening line "need any help over there" but by accident The Hubs clicked open instead of ignore. Up pops his profile, open up his pictures I told The Hubs.

When he clicked on the pictures I thought, hmm - he looks familiar... So I asked The Hubs to blow the picture up so I could see it. As he did I realized who I was looking at and sat straight up (exposing my face on cam but only for a second) since we didn't have the mic on I just started laughing hysterically. I knew the picture from Facebook, it was a guy I went to High School with and was still friends with him via Facebook. Holy fuck...

The Hubs thought I was uncomfortable and shut the laptop. I just kept saying ohmygod, ohmygod and laughing, literally laughing out loud. I told The Hubs to open back up the computer and start the show back up, if he was out there enough to have face pictures unblurred on AFF then he didn't mind being found. So I started back up, and he commented in again. So The Hubs started to mess with him, told him he looked familiar. We ended up telling him who it was by sending him the unblurred version of the AFF profile pic. He sheepishly said ohmygod about 80 times himself and then said, well you already know me so then you have to let me come over!

Not so fast...

But, after a little bit of vetting to make sure he could keep his mouth shut we all went out for dinner, drinks and some under the table playing with a cock in each of my hands. After that we headed to our house for some sucking, fucking and smoking. It was the most relaxed MFM we have ever had, we literally hung out (naked!) on the couch after fucking just talking about how we all got into the lifestyle etc. And of course, how strange it was to be sitting next to someone from high school naked. But for once it was not awkward, there was good conversation and it was just very comfortable for lack of a better word.

Schedules and single male lameness kept us from playing again, and he has since moved in with a vanilla girlfriend, so the playtime is over for us.  We are,of course we still friends, and now I really do know what it's like to fuck The Crush from high school.


The Wife

Wednesday, March 28, 2012


Sometimes when you tempt fate nothing happens, and sometimes fate laughs at you. When I started the blog and twitter account I had zero intention of ever showing any part of my face on either account. But as with most rules they got broken. And when you break a rule and nothing happens it gets easier and easier to tempt fate. My profile picture went from a computer image to my face covered by a wig, and eventually a real life picture of me cut down to just my smile. Well, remember when I said this in my Random Confessions post

     I am convinced that at some point someone I know will come across either my twitter account or the blog. Whether or not they know it's me and or tell me they found me is yet to be determined. But someday... It's gonna happen

I can now say, I was right. This has happened.

The Hubs and I were watching tv last night when my phone went off. I reached over and saw a text from Frendly McFrienderton. I said, wow - I haven't gotten a text from Friendly McFrienderton in years I wonder what that's all about.

The text said "What's up, you and [The Hubs] crack me up."

We thought - huh? Ok, well ironically we did meet a new girlfriend of a friend of ours who knows him. But just as I got that thought out The Hubs said - "well actually if it would be anyone, it would be Friendly McFrienderton to find our AFF profile. And he would totally know it was you even though our faces are blurred out"

Surely not, I thought...

And then I got an email. From Twitter. I had a new follower Friendly McFrienderton was now following SwingerWifeinFL.

Uh oh.

I tried to deny, I went with the "WTF are you talking about"... but I was yet again proven wrong! Remember recently in my Smile!  post I said:

Hmm... it makes me wonder. Do we really pay attention to smiles that much that we would know people without any other feature?

His response - "I've known you since 7th grade, I know your smile even if your eyes are cut off"

Well, fuck...officially busted.

First reaction - nausea.

See, here's the thing - I know what you're all thinking - he found me because he too is a swinger. Wrong. He found me because the email address I was using for my Twitter account was an email address he had for me in his phone. It was an old account that I didn't use anymore so I used it for Twitter, but when he used his app it populated my account as "someone he may know" and then of course he saw the smile and recognized me. Here's the bigger problem with that one kids - some of my Aunts and Uncles still have that address. I'm not even gonna go there.

So I've closed the loop hole of the email address, changed my profile picture and made my twitter account private just because I'm kinda freaking out a bit!

Reaction I've settled on - Thankful.

Getting busted could have been bad. Really, really bad. Instead it's a guy I've known since 7th grade. He worked with The Hubs for many years, he was even in our wedding. I trust him. (plus he knows I've known him so long I could surely come up with damaging information) I trust him not to judge us, and most importantly not to talk! And I'm thankful that he pointed out the loophole to me. He could have easily not said anything and just watched from afar, leaving me not knowing about the potential for my people like my parents to stumble onto me.  

But seriously, I get it - I won't tempt fate anymore! Well... at least not for now...

The Wife

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

TMI Tuesday - Make a wish(list)...

TMI Tuesday – Make a Wish(list)

This week’s TMI Tuesday idea is brought to you by Mistress Gail who was inspired by the handy little app that allows you to add anything to your Amazon gift list–the universal wish list button.

Let your imaginations run free because we want to know what secret something or someone you’d add to your wishlist.

1. We all know and love a Top 10 list, who or what is number one on your wishlist?

In real life there is a who - One I don't think will ever happen but deep down I secretly hope it will. There is a separate #1 from twitter. If/when The Hubs and I invite someone from twitter to town he has #1 dibs!

2. Tell us 2 naughty things you’d put on your wishlist and 2 more naughty or nice things you’d add to the list.

2 naughty things
A sex swing. & sex couch/chair

BOOBS! I need new boobs!

3. Your order has been mixed up and instead of your selected gift you receive Fireman Sam (see What do you do?

This link won't work for me soooo I don't know wtf it is but I'll go with return it. I probably want what was ordered ya know?

4. The miss-delivery is sorted and you get the right order. Because of the mix-up you’ve also received a free gift voucher for one of many new accessories available to enhance your new wishlist item. What do you choose?

Got the hitachi already, so probably buy some lingerie.

5. Your best friend arrives at your back door just as the courier (who is to die for) arrives at the front door with your accessory delivery. What do you do? (choose one)
a) usher your friend away because it’s ALL YOURS! and you can’t wait, let alone share
b) tell your friend to come inside with the intent to have them join in
c) what the heck, two’s company, four’s an orgy! (invite the courier in as well)

A - but only because my friend would flip at the thought of "cheating" but if it were a swinger friend bring it on, the more the merrier!

Bonus: Do you have a real wish list in the works? If yes, what’s on it?

Yes, I do. I don't talk about it and as of now only one thing has ever been sent to me from it. I made it as an experiment of sorts to see if this was a real thing people did. It's listed on my twitter profile but you'll never see me asking for anything, and it houses a wide range of items from vanilla to swinger!

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your blog, answer the questions there, then leave a comment on the tmituesdayblog so we’ll all know where to read your responses!

Friday, March 9, 2012

Smile Part 2, the answers

Well, I think I'm safe.... at least from my smile! Several people thought the found me, but no one was correct.  So here's the list of correct answers:

1. Britney Spears
2. Angelina Jolie 
3. Carrie Underwood
 4. Ellen Degeneres
 5. Faith Hill
 6. Kate Middleton
 7. Katy Perry
 8. Kim Kardashian
 9. Madonna
 10. Me

I have a friend tell me he was sure I was a,b or c. None of them were correct - and he said he would have better luck in person... maybe... but I doubt it!

By the way - not a single person got Angelina Jolie - seriously? I almost didn't use her because I was sure it would be too obvious. I think that one alone proves I'm safe! hahaha

The Wife

Monday, March 5, 2012


What's in a smile? I'm most often complimented on my smile over any other phsyical attribute. So, does that mean you could find me by my smile alone? Last week I sent out a tweet from my swinger account about a vanilla family outing. I used a hashtag about the event we were going to, not thinking anything of it. The Hubs saw the tweet and reminded me of our vanilla friend who follows hashtags about the event and would surely see it. "So what?" I said. My picture is only my smile, but he believes that since we are close to this friend he would recognize me. Would he?

Hmm... it makes me wonder. Do we really pay attention to smiles that much that we would know people without any other feature? A twitter follower believes he would be able to identify me from my smile if he saw me on the street. But would he really?

So I put together a list of 10 ladies we all know. Can you name them based on smile alone?  











The Wife

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Jane's Common Sense Guide to Twitter

Remember when Twitter was fun?

I don't know, maybe it's the recent rash of twittercides and twantrums that have me thinking...  And it has led me to this.

Jane's Common Sense Guide to Twitter:

* Don't use an egg for your picture, take a picture of a coffee cup if you must, but no one is going to take you seriously as an egg - no matter what you say or do.

* If you're tweet is in another language I can't respond to you. I have no idea if you told me to fuck off or that you think I'm fabulous. Sorry, I just don't speak anything but English - unless you count Pig Latin, or should I say Igpa Atinla?

*If you post sexy material expect sexy responses. Maybe it's because I've never been flooded with cock pics or men stampeding to fuck me, but when a guy says they think I'm hot I take it as a compliment! I'm not saying there aren't creepy people and tweets out there, but take a compliment for goodness sakes, it just means you're hot!

*Figure this one out early - there is always someone hotter than you out there. But, there is also always  someone out there who thinks you're hot, even if they aren't saying it.

*"Friendships" are often ended when one person feels they no longer have a shot at having sex with you. I've seen this one a few times, but I guess you'd say those are the friends that aren't worth having.

* If 99% of your twitter page is sexual content then assume every post is going to be taken sexually by at least one person. Even if your post has nothing to do with sex, there will be at least one person who takes it as an opportunity to make a sexual joke. I go with the roll my eyes and ignore method, but go with whatever you like.

*Twittercides - there are two methods of twittercide - The Announced and The Unannounced. As you can imagine in The Announced version the tweep will make several comments to let everyone know that they were leaving. Sometimes this goes on for days, and the people actually never leave! Sometimes it's one tweet and the account is gone so fast you're not even done reading it and they're gone. Then of course The Unannounced they are just... *poof*... gone, sometimes without even closing their account!

*Sometimes you'll get more responses than you can imagine to a nonsense post. And sometimes you'll post a picture or an awesome gem you thought would go crazy and you hear nothing. Welcome to life. Sometimes people are too busy to respond, retweet or whatever - doesn't mean they didn't enjoy the message. I try and think of twitter as a black hole of randomness. I'm sending my thoughts and pictures into the black hole and sometimes someone sees it and I get some feedback.  Hell, sometimes I post a naked pic and lose followers - talk about a self esteem kill! But in the end it all boils down to "shit happens" and not a commentary on how much we like you.

*Most importantly don't take everything so seriously and or personally. Social media is supposed to be there for fun, so let's lighten up and enjoy the debauchery!

The Wife

PS - if you think you've seen yourself in the above post let me assure you, I'm not talking about you. This post is about no one and everyone, just general observations from a wife in FL. I know I've been guilty of each of them myself at one time or another so don't be getting all offended. :)