Hmmm

For The Hubs and I in our swing life have always maintained a must-use-condoms rule for both of us. On several occasions we've been told "oh, we don't need them, I'm fixed." Thanks for the info! But really, pregnancy is like the absolute last possible reason for us to require condoms. 

Let's face it, the year is 2013, not 1955. There are diseases that I don't want either of us to pick up. Life-altering issues that can very easily be prevented by slipping on a condom. This is something The Hubs and I always agreed on and talked about. 

That is, until recently when he let a fantasy out. I was talking to The Friend about condoms and he expressed his wish not to use one with me. (you know, during all this sex we're having with each other, ha!) I sort of gave him a "sorry-about-your-luck" answer and was telling The Hubs about how cool-guy wanted a free pass since we knew him, wasn't that hilarious. At which point The Hubs looled at me and said "Actually, I'd let him fuck you without a condom on" 

I stopped dead in my tracks. 

"Wait, what? Really? Seriously? You want what now? Like for real, for real?" were some of the confused questions spilling out of me. I had never even contemplated this scenario, the condom rule has always just been part of the game. Yet there I was totally turned on. 

But why? Was it really for the scenario or just that The Hubs was talking about me fucking The Friend which always has an effect on me. 

Then he dropped another bomb on me... He said he wants The Friend  to cum inside of me and send me home dripping his cum. Fuck me, that man turns me on with things I've never even thought of. But uhhh, say what?!? Immediately I think of the practical side of things. As in disease. {not going into details but pregnancy is not an issue} His reasoning is this is a completely different situation from normal because we know The Friend so well. 

But... This is huge. I mean, I know for some couples this is a normal thing but for us it sure isn't. We literally have 3 rules and condoms being used is one of them. So it's 33% of our rules out the window for The Friend. The problem is, I can't undo this. If we do it there is no going back and being that it is so out of our ordinary for us I want to be beyond certain we are both on-board 100% before anything happens. 

I don't know where this will end up. Either way, for now I'll continue to enjoy the hotness of listening to The Hubs telling me of his fantasy.

The Wife

A stupid move

The night of the getting caught play date we went out for friends to celebrate The Friend's birthday. The drinks were flowing and I was still turned on from the day's activities so when the texts started from The Friend (who was sitting at the other end of the table) I was totally in to it. I didn't even care that he was sitting next to his unknowing girlfriend.

We made our way to the bar after dinner and The Hubs sent him the text he had been teasing me about sending all day. He told The Friend to take me to the parking lot and fuck me. The response was it was too risky. 

Not knowing any of this yet I am egging The Friend on in my texts. This is our usual thing, he wimps out and I give him shit about missed opportunities. I even told him at one point to "fuck caution". And then for some reason I got the grand idea to meet up with him in the hall just outside of the bathrooms. 

I walked out to find him waiting for me in the hallway. He pulled me in close and told me about the text he had gotten from The Hubs. He explained that he really did want to but it was just too risky etc, etc, etc... Meanwhile I felt a hand roaming up my leg and making its way up to my thong. Then he was pulling it out of the way and working his fingertip into the top of my pussy lips. 

He told me how he only recently became to really believe that The Hubs was alright with me fucking him. And he also worried in the past about the way we'd treat him afterward but now, he said, he felt confident that we wouldn't change how we were with him. He also told me he was getting hard standing so close to me. I took my opportunity and grabbed a handful. He wasn't lying he was on the way to a boner. Not there yet (he reminded me) but definitely no longer laying in wait. 

He couldn't get his fingers into my pussy because of our location and position. But he kept on trying! Suddenly he pulled me in and kissed me. I was a little shocked actually. First of all, for some odd reason not a lot of young single men kiss these days. And secondly we've been in close proximity at a party before and he made no move then to kiss me so this was very unexpected. It wasn't by any stretch of the imagination a make-out session. More of a prolonged peck. Shocking nonetheless.

About that time The Hubs came through the hallway. As he walked past us to the men's room he said something which at the time I didn't hear. When he came out and we were still standing there he said it again and this time I understood what he said. It was "Your girl is looking for you"...

Uh oh... See, little did our drunk, horny selves realize but we were gone about 15 minutes. Way longer than it takes for a quick trip to the bathroom. And our people were starting to notice. The BFF was concerned I was getting sick in the ladies room. And The Unknowing Girlfriend was starting to ask WTF had happened to the birthday boy... And the only thing stopping us from being caught by one of them was The Hubs offering to check rather than let one of them do the looking. 

To make it worse we started to make our way back to the group together - DUH. (Brilliance) So of course when we both returned from the long bathroom break The Unknowing Girlfriend wanted to know why he had been gone so long. (He has a habit of wandering off) and why we returned together. The BFF was easily calmed with my story of a line in the ladies room but The Hubs could hear the questions being peppered at The Friend. He knew it was time to get the hell outta there! We finished up the last few sips of our drinks and said our goodbyes. 

The next day The Hubs filled in the blanks of the night before and how close we came to being caught. I had no idea it was so close. The news didn't make me feel great. At all. I kept thinking of how bad it would have been. Could have been. So easily. 

Stupid doesn't accurately describe it. It was so stupid, and so easily preventable yet I let alcohol and hormones dictate my actions. And I could have lost a lot more than a fuck buddy that night. What if The BFF had walked in? Sure, her discovery would have been better than The Unknowing Girlfriend but still - would it have ruined her opinion of me to know I was going after a "taken" guy? Would it really be worth losing her friendship for a prolonged peck in a bar hallway? 

Stupid.

The Wife

When things go wrong

So there you are, ready to play with this guy that has been chatting you up for weeks. You get started and soon realize there is a problem. So what happens when things go wrong. Yes guys, I'm talking about when your playmate isn't getting hard. 

Did every man just wince?

Every guy is different, but this is a lot more common than you may realize. I would venture a guess that most experienced swingers have been impacted by it at one point or another, to some degree or another. Sometimes it happens just at the start and once the ice is broken all is good. Sometimes it is a no-go. And maybe sometimes it is anything in between. 

So then what?

I've heard ladies talk about it before and we too, are all different. But, for me it is more about how he reacts. First of all, re.lax. I know it is embarrassing. I get it. But I can assure you that freaking out does not help! To my knowledge no cock has ever sprang to attention from a guy freaking out. Trust me. So just go with whatever else is going on. The absolute worst thing you can do is panic and stop participating. That will only guarantee neither your playmate or you will have any fun at all. 

 

When The Youngen Hubs started having issues he shut down and gave up on the entire evening. I understand it is embarrassing but now it's just weird that you're standing in the corner or around the bed while the rest of us play. You didn't die, you're just not hard. You have a mouth don't you? And hands with fingers? Stick with it, have fun for what you can do and just roll with it. That is how you redeem yourself in the eyes of the woman. Not pouting. Or making excuses. Then it just gets awkward...

 

The Wife

Getting Caught

The Hubs has always told me that one of his biggest fantasies was to walk in and catch me and a boytoy in the middle of naughtiness. However, that is somewhat impossible to do since I have repeatedly declined to play alone. Sort of makes it difficult to fulfill this fantasy of his if we are always both present for playtime. I kept telling him "maybe, someday..."

It is also not easy to find a guy willing to do this "surprise". Once, a few years ago,I asked a playmate to consider the situation. He was not game at all. He said he couldn't believe The Hubs wouldn't freak out and be would just be uncomfortable. I totally get that. It's complicated, but I just love to make The Hubs fantasies come true. All that, plus even if I found someone to do this they would then think I was ok playing alone.  So the fantasy got well-used in dirty talk and sat on the real-life back burner. 

Fast forward to a recent meeting and playing with The Sailor. We met through SLS and met up at Eyz Wide Shut for quite frankly, a really good fucking time. He was nice, clean, respectful of our rules and best of all he knew how to fuck. Between The Hubs and The Sailor I was a happy slut. I joked that he is the male unicorn, (municorn? manicorn?) because he was laid back and overall seemed to be a good guy. 

The downside was that his job was moving him out of the country one week after we met him. So, not exactly boytoy material since he wasn't going to be around. But then I realized... He's not goin to be around. As in, he won't hound me for alone play because he'll be gone already. This could be my chance to set this fantasy in motion. 

So I emailed him about it. Explaining the situation and what my idea was. To complicate things it would have to take place in the daytime so our child would be at school. He said he was in, as long as I was really sure The Hubs wanted this. I was. I think. No, I was sure. Sort of. 

The big day arrived and I was so nervous I couldn't even drink my morning coffee. As soon as everyone was out of the house I was straightening up & then cleaned myself up. Finally it was time. I text The Hubs telling him to pick me up at a certain time for a special date-lunch. The Sailor was scheduled to be there 15 minutes earlier and my nerves were going crazy. I kept telling myself that The Hubs had in fact asked for this fantasy on multiple occasions. Trust the system, I told myself... 

The time arrived and it was do or die time. I met The Sailor at the door in nothing but a short red lingerie-dress. I welcomed him in, shut the door behind him and started to take his pants off of him right there in the entryway. He kissed me and I moved down to his cock which was already getting ready for me. Meanwhile the dog was going C.R.A.Z.Y. trying to get out of my office to kill the "intruder" so I stopped sucking his cock and suggested we go back to the bedroom and get ready for the arrival of The Hubs. 

I led him to the bedroom and re-striped his clothes for him. This time I took everything off and I got back on my knees and went back to where I left off. Meanwhile The Hubs was on his way, I even fielded a text from him while licking The Sailor's cock. (Wouldn't my mother be proud of my multitasking skills! Ha!) At one point he said "you're sure The Hubs will be ok with this? I just don't want him to freak out" I replied "me too,  meeeee toooooo" 

After a few minutes he reminded me that I'd said I wanted to be in a certain position on the bed for when we got caught. This meant I needed to be on my back on the bed. No problem. So here I am, awkward, because that's just me and I'm stone cold sober because it is 11 am so I am even more awkward. I turn to get on the bed. Before I could do anything he grabbed my shoulders spun me around and pressed his naked body up against me from behind. Then he pushed me on to the bed face down with his body still on me. He sat up on his knees and pulled me up on my knees, licked my pussy and ass and then flipped me over, spread my legs and dove into my wet pussy head first. 

I looked at the clock beside my head to see how close we were to The Hubs arrival, we still had 9 minutes until the scheduled time and The Sailor was wasting none of that time getting down to business. The thought crossed my mind that he was probably trying to get as much as he could before The Hubs got home, just in case he freaked out. I kept looking at the clock, checking the hallway and it seemed the time was standing still. I was enjoying myself physically, but I couldn't wait to have The Hubs there with me. I came just as I heard the front door squeek ever so slightly. I said in a whisper "he's here!" And The Sailor froze for a second. I guess it was his do-or-die moment too. He got back to licking and I did my best not to throw up from nerves. 

Finally I saw The Hubs inching his way down the hall toward the bedroom. He was already rubbing his own cock as he made eye contact with me and mouthed "oooooohh" to me. I took a deeper breath at that point. No freak out, he really was enjoying the act of "busting" me in action. He snapped a picture and started taking video. The Sailor was still licking me but I felt the need to have a cock in my throat at the same time. I looked up at The Hubs (who was standing just outside the bedroom door) and told him to come get on the bed so I could suck him as I was licked. He obliged and climbed up to give me his cock. 

From there it was one hell of a MFM. I was licked while I sucked each of them. I was fucked while I sucked each of them. I sucked back and forth on them and came and came for each of them. 

And that is that... I hope The Hubs enjoyed the actual experience even more than he expected. And I have a few improvements I could make if I can ever pull this off again! 

The Wife

The MFMF that wasn't

Getting to play with The Youngens took about three weeks to come to fruition. Schedules didn't work out and we had to change plans twice before locking in a date for a recent weekend night.The plan was to go to their house and have dinner, hang out and well, get naked and fuck!

We ate dinner and had pleasant chit chat and ended up on the couch four-across. The Hubs decided to move down to sit on the floor below The Youngen Wife. He started rubbing on her legs and The Youngen Hubs decided he too would get in the action on me. He put his arm behind my back and started rubbing my shoulder. It was awkward because note I didn't say around my back, around my shoulders or anything like that. Behind my back. So I was forced to lean on his arm or sit forward. It was just weird but everyone is different so whatever. There we sat on the couch watching television. I knew someone had to make the first move.

I went to the bathroom which was off of the room we were watching TV in. I decided it was now or never, if I went back out it would just be awkward silences and wondering who was going to make the first move. We all know why we're here, don't we? So, I decided to pull The Naked Man.

 

As in, I emerged from the bathroom in just the lingerie I had hiding under my dress. The look on The Hubs face was p.r.i.c.e.l.e.s.s. Seconded by the look on The Youngens faces. It was utter shock. I say again, we know why we're here. It isn't to watch TV. She jumped up and ran to the bedroom to get her lingerie on and we soon joined her in there. We each switched spouses and started kissing and getting into the naughty part of the night.

This was pretty much where the MFMF went downhill for half of us involved!

We ladies were on the bed next to each other with the men both licking our pussies. I could tell The Hubs was working his magic by the moans The Youngen Wife was making. Her legs were pulled back and she was really getting into it. The Youngen Hubs was building up speed with his tongue and lightly sucking on my clit. After a while I guess he got really excited and he bit me. My clit, to be exact. Yes, he bit my clit.

OUCH! 

Sorry, I couldn't hold that one in. It hurt like a mother fucker. Needing a break I suggested we ladies get out our double-headed dildo we brought and put on a little show for the boys. We got on our knees and went butt to butt, or rather pussy to pussy, I guess. And The Hubs helped guide it in and started pulling us toward each other. I couldn't see anyone's face but it sure sounded like she was enjoying the other 1/2 of the dildo! She pushed against me fucking herself as the guys took turns pulling us together to get the dildo deeper into both of us. 

Soon it was time for The Youngen Hub to drop the boxers to reveal if the saying is true. You know, 'big things come in small packages'... that saying. Well... Not so much, but I have been with big dicks and little dicks and size is truly not an indicator for how good of a fuck he will be. Trust me. So I pulled his boxers off and he laid down on the bed while I went to work on him. (Side note - The Hubs and The Youngen Wife were right next to us, but I literally have no idea what they were doing at this time! Lol)

Despite all of the excitement I found his cock was in no way ready for me. No biggie, I can change that, I thought to myself and started working on getting him hard with my mouth. After a while he seemed to be showing signs of life. I kept going and he seemed to be enjoying it. In the midst of things The Hubs was talking somewhat dirty to the crowd. Almost cheering my cock-sucking on from next to me. I guess that inspired The Youngen Hubs to do the same and he whispered something to me that made me bite my lip mid cock-sucking. Unfortunately, that was to stop myself from laughing. It was just funny, but I pulled out all of my acting skills and he never knew I was secretly chuckling at his words. 

(Sidebar: no, I don't plan on telling you what he said. On its own it may not be so funny to you, but in the whole of the situation it was hilarious. Even The Hubs laughed when I told him! Oh, how your imaginations must be running wild!)

By now it seemed his cock was hard enough for the dreaded condom placement. I never realized until we started swinging what a total pain in the ass condoms could be. They are vital as it is 2013 and there is all kinds of shit floating around but the break in momentum can be a major problem for a guy's hard-on. He got it on and I got on my knees doggie-style. He slid his cock in and I felt two or three pumps, then heard a curse and he pulled out. He'd lost his hard-on.

No biggie, it happens! His wife came over to him and started licking and sucking on him to spring him back into action. I could tell it wasn't going too well. The Hubs suggested I jump in on the other side and help The Youngen Wife out with the cock-sucking. Knowing how much The Hubs enjoys two ladies on his cock at the same time I thought this would really spring him to action. And it did, after a while. And eventually he was ready again. I jumped up and got in position while his wife helped him with the condom. Soon I felt him slide in and start pumping. (Again, no idea what The Hubs was doing behind me with her!) This time I felt a good 10-15 pumps and then heard "no, no, no, nonononono.."

Yea, gone again. 

Again, not a big deal. I made no indication that this was a problem (I mean, obviously it is a problem, but the night was not dead yet. Totally salvageable) but he basically shut down. He instructed The Hubs to finish me at home (duh, that's a given!) and never tried to get back in on the action. 

At first he and I became the photographers as The Youngen Wife mounted The Hubs big cock. Pretty soon, realizing I was now a spectator only The Hubs told me to come sit on his face while she rode his cock. Works for me! I was licked and sucked (gently!!!) as she jumped up and down on his lower half moaning as she went. From there it became a MFF. The Youngen Hubs made no attempt to rejoin the fun or even get his body to spring to life. His loss, The Hubs gain! Lol! 

Eventually we ladies got on our knees as sucked on The Hubs (one of his favorite things to do with two ladies!) and then ended up making a train to finish. I laid on my back, she was licking me while getting pounded from behind by The Hubs. All while The Youngen Hubs watched and took pictures. 

When we finished up we sat around on the bed for a few minutes. I could tell The Hubs could absolutely go again, and wanted to. But I also knew that The Youngen Hubs had given up long before and was now filling the air with excuses. Claiming that only one hour before we arrived he had fucked the hell out of his wife, and it was her fault he couldn't perform. Yes, he really told us and her that it was her fault...

After finding all of our clothing, gathering the toys and condom wrappers we made our goodbyes with open ended plans to meet again. 

On the way home The Hubs and I started to re-hash the details. At one point he started to laugh at me and said, "ok, so you're never going to play with him again but do you care if I play alone with her?" I said I didn't care as long as I knew about all the goings-on! 

We made it home and loaded our pipe and started smoking and relaxing. I took a shower and came out to find The Hubs getting text messages from The Youngen Wife. I assumed they were chatting about the fun they'd had etc. However, I would soon find out she was complaining. The Hubs apparently fucked her so well that she was sore. And she was bitching up a storm about it. Yep, you're reading this correctly... Her husband didn't even participate and here she is COMPLAINING about getting fucked too good by my man? 

The irony is almost more than I can take. 

Her bitching ruined the fun that The Hubs had with her. Almost like it retroactively sucked the life out of the party. And, as a result, at least for now, we've sworn off super young playmates. So much drama and so little payoff! 

The Wife

Exclusive

When most people think of the Swinger lifestyle they think of No-Strings-Attached. Maybe the stereotype lends toward fantasies of bed-hopping with a different person each night. I am sure for some people that is true. For others (like us) we are just in this for the fun of the unexpected. But what about exclusivity? Would that even be in the top 10 things you would think of associating with the Swinger lifestyle? I'm guessing not, yet we have heard it several times.

We were introduced to the concept of Exclusive Swinging when one of our first couples told us how they were approached on the subject. The idea is simple; you find that one special couple and only swing/swap with them. 

Huh? Doesn't that sort of defeat the purpose of swinging? 

We've all thought about finding that BFF couple. You know, the one you can hang out with as friends and sex-partners. The Saturday night BBQ friends who you happen to fool around with after the kids are in bed. This isn't that situation, this scenario is setting up 100% exclusive swinging with one couple alone.

Here is the main problem with that: If I've learned anything in my adult-life it is that no matter how amazing something is if you do it often enough it will become mundane. The taboo of it will wear off and before you know it you're still fucking the same partner over and over again it just isn't the one you're in love with. 

Uh, yea... no thanks! The only person I'm wiling to be exclusive with is The Hubs. I could fuck & suck that man everyday for the rest of my life and never grow tired of it! Duh, that is why I married him. 

If we wanted one partner and one partner alone we'd just be monogamous together. I mean, really? Is this a tough concept? Yet through the years we have heard of this a few times. We hear "We're not looking for one-night stands, but an exclusive couple to fool around with" 

So, monogamous swingers? Just the thought still cracks me up every time.

The Wife

Don't Ask, Don't Tell

It is one of my pet peeves when someone asks a question but they don't really want the answer to it. If you ask a question you should be prepared for an honest answer.

No, I'm not saying take an asshole of a response and be perfectly fine with it. I'm just saying if you don't want to know. Don't ask.

There are certain questions we already know the answer to; "Does this make me look fat?" for example. When a woman asks someone this she already feels fat in the outfit in question. If you say yes, you're an asshole. If you say no, you're a big ole liar. Either way she is probably not going to wear whatever it was because she already feels fat in it.

See what I'm saying? Don't bother asking. There are some things we can go our whole life not knowing and many times that is just perfectly fine. If I ask a question it is because I am prepared for the answer and I genuinely want your thoughts on the subject. No need to pussy-foot around. If I didn't want to know I wouldn't ask.

In swinging there are plenty of these questions. For example:

Do you find him/her more attractive than me?
Did he/she fuck/suck/etc better than me?
Was his cock bigger than mine?
Was her pussy tighter than mine?

These are land-mine questions. You should never ever ever, EVER ask these unless you are fully prepared for the cold hearted truth. If your spouse lies it is even worse (and deep down we know if they lie) but if the truth is said out loud it is a potential nuclear explosion. I'm never going to ask those questions. I know better! It is just setting The Hubs and I up for one helluva argument and the sentiment will replay in my head forever.

So before you open your mouth think through the responses. How are you going to feel when he tells you that yea, she is prettier, better in bed etc. not so great. And sometimes ignorance is blissful.

The Wife