Bits

Some thoughts on a few things...

Birthdays

The beginning of this week was The Hubs birthday. Each year he hates his birthday a little more than the year before and each year I try to make it special to offset his hatred of it. This was the year of thwarted plans...

First, since we seem to be eating dinner out a lot lately, I decided I would cook a nice dinner of steak & lobster tails. Then his parents called: they wanted to take us out to dinner. Thwarted.
I ordered his gift from Amazon in plenty of time... Yet, it was scheduled to arrive the day after his birthday. Thwarted.
The night before I decided to wake him up with a nice cock sucking. Until our 5 year old pounced on us way before I got the chance. Thwarted
Then I decided I would surprise him with an awesomely homemade lunch. (He almost alway comes home for lunch!) while on my way to the grocery store to pick up a few things he called me... His friend had shown up at work to take him to lunch! Thwarted!
After arriving home semi-late from the parental dinner we decided to watch a movie he got as a gift. Knowing he really wanted to see this particular film I kept my hands to myself planning a birthday massage with a happy ending at the end of the movie. Little did I know that the movie was freaking LONG...and when it was over it was too late for a leisurely massage... THWARTED yet again.
In the end I hope that even though my efforts went unfulfilled he had a good day and knows that we love him dearly. Even if he missed out on TWO cock suckings in one day!

Instagram

I recently found the Instagram account for one of the ladies from The Bachelorette Party. Before the weekend got started I asked my BFF why this chick was coming if she always acted like she really didn't like most of our group. We joked that she probably really only liked my BFF.

The weekend was nice (as in my dealing with her) and I thought we had sort of bonded. Until I found her IG account. In which she posted the group shot of all of us ladies at dinner - cropping me and one other girl out of the pic... WOW!!!! Guess that answered that one...

Friendly McFrienderton

I had to text Friendly McFrienderton a only-you-will-know-this question last week. It was a purely 100% vanilla question. He answered and then said - "you know... I am reading the blog from time to time" Then he said "it blows my mind!"

I started laughing out loud. My only response was the truth, sometimes it does me too, Friendly. Me too...

Irony

Last night The Hubs and I were talking about the playing alone subject. I mentioned *may* be getting to the point where I *might* consider it with The Hardbody. He has come over a few times and seems to be a stand-up guy and all that. Well, The Hubs decided to text him to see what he was doing, maybe he could join us and the other guy who was supposed to come over last night. And that's when we found out he just got engaged and is done with the fooling around. Perfect, I start thinking he could be my first solo playmate and he drops out of the lifestyle...

Lastly, just one thought... Why are the guys with the smallest cocks the biggest assholes? Take it from me guys, that doesn't help your cause.

The Wife

#TittyTuesday

Tales from a Bachelorette Party: My Opportunity

I mentioned in this post that The Hubs had an opportunity to play while on his trip, but he was cock-blocked by our friend. Well, truth be told, I had somewhat of an opportunity too.

It was our first night and it was cold on our beach weekend. We headed to a bar with outside heaters to drink and listen to a band. Being it was the first night one of the ladies dressed The Bride in the traditional garbage. Dressed up in the typical Bachelorette gear (you know, a sash declaring her the bachelorette and a penis veil) we were chatting up others around the heaters.

Pretty soon The Dude struck up a conversation with our table. He was sitting with his friend who looked highly annoyed at the Spring Break crowd. They ended up buying The Bride a shot and helping her out with a few Bachelorette Party check list items. The crowd was slow and we were all chatting with them.

The Dude was cute, no doubt. He was chatty and very friendly and I talked to him for a few minutes from our table to theirs. I creep-shot a picture and sent it to The Hubs. He advised I should go fuck him! I laughed at the idea. Sure, it was hot. But how could I really do that in front of these ladies. After all The Prude was there and she seriously may have died on the spot. I kept laughing at the idea as The Hubs kept encouraging me to go for it. Pretty soon The Newbie Friend (I don't know her all that well) literally moved a chair in front of me to speak to The Dude thus ending our conversation. Looking back I wonder if The BFF (who was also there) recognized that I was flirting and sent her over to block me. Or she is a natural cock-blocker. (Yes, I know I don't have a cock to be blocked - but what word do you use there? Vagina blocker? Clit blocker?)

A little while later we were ready to leave. We were planning on taking the remaining drinks for the walk back to the hotel. As we left and said our goodbyes to The Dude and his friend (still looking annoyed) he advised that we should "suck down" our drinks before we left yada yada yada. I turned around without missing a beat and in typical me fashion said without thinking "Well, I'd rather be sucking something else down" and I flicked my tongue at him as I kept walking backward.

I think his eyes almost burst out of his head.

And then I heard The Prude saying "JESUS, JANE! Can't we be classy for ONCE??"

I smiled and said "Nope!"... Just being honest...

The Wife

Tales from a Bachelorette Party: I've Never

If you didn't know this already, girls talk. A lot. Get a girl drunk and most likely she'll spill some secrets. So put six girls in a hotel room with all day drinking... there will be details shared!

It was after we returned from the bar on the last night of the trip. We had been drinking for over 12 hours and before I knew it we were sitting around our hotel room playing a game of "I've never"

The questions started and as I had to drink almost every time I realized this was potentially a dangerously revealing game. I was going to have to decide how honest I was going to be. More and more I had to drink.

"I've never had anal sex..." The Wife drinks

"I've never taken naked pictures of myself..." The Wife drinks

"I've never had sex in a public place"... I almost burst out laughing thinking of how we almost always end up playing in a group room at Eyz.

"I've never video taped myself in a sexual act"... yea yea, I drank to that one too.

At what point would I stop sharing the info? What if they flat out asked about the orgy I basically admitted to having. I had already said earlier that The Hubs was my first - and I never mentioned any periods of us being broken up. So how soon would these ladies put the clues together and figure out that I really am a slut?

The questions began to taper off and transitioned into "what would you do?" and I started to have a little reprieve from my anxiety. I wondered later if they knew not to ask many more questions... knowing they may not want to hear what I had to say!

What did I learn?

First, a lot of my friends are prudes. Seriously, one of them needs to be helped to pull the stick out. Secondly, I'm running out of things I've never done... hmmm...

The Wife

Creeped out...

This morning The Hubs was talking with a potential guy on AFF. When he gave out our joint swinger email address which is our first names the guy said "you mean Bob & Sally SMITH?????"

Except he said our real names...

So The Hubs sent me his picture and asked if I knew him. Except, I didn't.

So The Hubs went back to the conversation and asked again - how did you know that? He claimed it was populated on the email.

So I tested it. And sure enough the email says no where in there anything about our last name. So The Hubs pressed further, how did he know our name?

No response and signed out of AFF messenger.

W

T

F

Totally creepy!!!!

The Wife

Tales from a Bachelorette Party: Rules

A note: The Hubs and I have both recently returned from celebrating the Bachelor/Bachelorette parties for our friends' upcoming wedding. The Hubs and guy friends headed to Mile Zero, USA and The Ladies and I headed to our somewhat-local beach. Same weekend, separate parties and some of the stories are too good not to share.

Rules

As The Hubs and I we were both traveling to "Spring Break destinations" and we try to think ahead we talked ahead of time about what we were OK with each other doing and not doing.

Keep in mind that none of our friends really know about our Swinger Lifestyle. The only ones that have been told didn't believe it. So mostly they think I'm all talk, and just a little slutty-talker. Yes, The Friend knows about it but he's never witnessed it in action.

The Hubs was sent with condoms and permission to have fun and take a picture for me if he could!The Hubs and I joked that this would be the true test of the "Bro Code" they all joke about having. Could they really keep their mouths shut if he slipped away for some sex with a random college girl? Or would the other wives text message alerts be lit up immediately?  My second stipulation was I wanted dirt on everyone! ha! To hell with the bro code for me (although I'm sure he holds some stories back) I want to know everything!!! In the end he had one real opportunity and it ended up not working out because of the idiocy of one of the other guys. Ya gotta love men.

For me, I was off to our somewhat-local beach with 5 other ladies. The group was eclectic, including one newbie, one outsider and one we can all take in small doses. At least it would be interesting, I thought to myself! The Hubs sent me with really one stipulation. And really, I have to give it as a quote to get the full effect. He said:

"I just have one thing to say. If you girls end up going all lesbo on each other and you finally lick a twat and I'm not there to see it... We're gonna have problems"

Insert hilarious laughter here.

We love how you men think all we do at these all-female gatherings is pillow fight and masturbate with each other in front of mirrors.  I broke the Hubs-code on that one and informed the ladies to please restrain me should I decide to go for the twat without The Hubs there! hahaha

The Wife

Would you rather: Boobs

The question posed was this:

When it comes to boobs would you rather your lady had small natural breasts or larger fake ones.

I got 11 responses.

8 said natural no matter size.
2 said big, small, real or fake boobs are boobs and they're all exciting!
And 1 said depends on the booze level how the boobs preference goes!

I never would have guessed these results. Makes me think maybe that my boob-job dream isn't so necessary... Well....Maybe.

The Wife

On loyalty

Loyal is one of those words I hope people think of when trying to describe me. Cross someone I love and you are going to see my loyalties up close and personal. I will fight for those I love with everything I have in me. It's just who I am.

So how exactly does that mesh with being a swinger? You may be surprised to know it works out pretty well actually.

The first thing you have to remember is this entire lifestyle (at least for us) comes with complete openness about our wants, needs and feelings and swing experiences. There are no secrets and no pressure between the two of us.

And the most important aspect is that our love for each other is deep, strong and 100% kept away from our swing-life. There is no situation or person or fucking-ability that will ever diminish what I feel for The Hubs and what he feels for me. Sex with others is just for the fun of having sex with new people or in new settings. Nothing more, nothing less.

I was asked in response to my Alone blog if I was saying I was more loyal than most women or even more loyal than The Hubs because I don't play alone while he sometimes does. I don't see it that way at all. My choice to not play alone isn't because I love The Hubs more than he loves me. It isn't that I am more loyal than he or other women are. It is simply my comfort level. I have seriously considered it before and like I said there is someone I want to do it with. But in the end it hasn't felt right.

I know a swinger marriage is hard to understand, but trust me when I say loyalties are never an issue!

The Wife

Maybe I'm just a cunt...

I've been called worse, I'm sure of it... sometimes even to my face. But for now I'm left to wonder if I'm just a cunt or if these things annoy the fuck out of you too? So here's a little list of built up annoyances.

Maybe I'm a cunt but I don't think you should talk during sex. Unless it's about the sex you're having right then.

Maybe I'm a cunt but if you try to pressure me into changing my rules or comfort levels I'm not a fan of yours.

Maybe I'm a cunt but don't argue with your spouse in front of playmates.

Maybe I'm a cunt but if you say anything even remotely negative about my husband I will hate you. Instantly. Deeply. Bad mouth your own spouse and the result will be pretty close to the same.

Maybe I'm a cunt but don't tell me to keep this between you and me. Nothing is going to be a secret from The Hubs and you're just an ass clown if you think I'll side with you over him. Ever.

Maybe I'm a cunt but if you have text messaged me at least 10 times over the last two years and I've never responded it's time to take the hint.

Maybe I'm a cunt but put more than 1-2 words per text message. I know we all have unlimited text messaging now, but that doesn't make it an instant messenger. Type out all or at least most of what you want to say before sending it to me rather than 8 messages. All that will accomplish is making me literally hate my own text tone. (I know, I know... this one is particularly cunty but it's true!)

Maybe I'm a cunt but don't act like or think for one second that you know The Hubs or me better than we know each other. That's just stupid!

And finally, maybe I'm just a cunt. Or maybe I just needed to rant a little. Or maybe a little of both...

The Wife

Alone

Tonight The Hubs is out playing alone. This is probably the 4th or 5th time he has played alone but I have never flown solo. And each time he goes out alone has brought the same question from him to me: When will I play alone?

Why don't I want to play alone? I can't really put it into words but I just don't think I would have the kind of fun I do when we all pile into one room. I know, I'm a weird chick.

Yes, that's right, I choose not to play alone although I honestly do not mind if The Hubs does. (in certain situations) is it "fair"? Yes! Because it is 100% by my choice. The Hubs has givens several opportunities to play alone, but I have always opted out.

It isn't that I don't have incentive either. The Friend has said he doesn't want to be awkward with The Hubs by playing with him there and I should let him know when I am ready to be alone. This is a guy I really do want to fuck, and have for a while now. Yet... No dice. It may cost me satisfying many curiosities but I have repeatedly resisted.

Sometimes I think maybe it just isn't for me and maybe it never will be.

Deep sigh... I guess only time will tell.

The Wife

Preference

Sexual, that is...

Everyone has one and in my opinion no one is wrong. Maybe you prefer men, maybe you prefer women. Maybe you prefer either or both at the same time! Maybe you don't like either? (But, then you probably wouldn't be reading a sex blog, soooo maybe not...) Personally, I don't care what your preference may be, that is, as long as you respect mine.

 

Yes, I am a swinger. But no I am not bisexual. I think women are great! I love watching another lady going to town sucking The Hubs cock or the two of them fucking away. And I'm not opposed to playing with the ladies with toys, or kissing/touching etc. but I'm not into pussy eating. It just isn't something I desire to do. Hell, everyone has their line and my line is drawn at twat-licking.

I am always up front about it with potentials and usually they are ok with it. But then there are the ones who feel they need to try and push the limits. From the ladies out there I've been called a "pillow princess" and various other things and the men always want to change my mind. "Oh, but my wife's pussy is so great!" I believe you, really, I'm sure she is pussy-Queen of all the land. It just isn't my cup of tea! If you met a couple and the man wasn't bi would you try and convince him to just try sucking a little cock? Probably not! So why do it to a straight lady?

In many ways I wish I were a fan, it would make some situations so much easier. And I know it would be a sexual-dream come true for The Hubs. (Which is always a huge turn on for me) But for now, it's a "no thank you" for this swinger and that is the end of the discussion.

Of course I'm not saying it would never happen, after all every "I'll never" so far has been eventually squashed like a bug. But for right now this is where I am. And the only person who is allowed to hope for different is The Hubs.

Now, don't get all femenazi on me - I'm not saying he gets to tell me what to like sexually. I'm just saying that he and he alone is allowed to talk with me about potentially broadening my horizons. Until then I'll stick with the cock ;)

The Wife