Random Confessions

Just some randoms...

Sometimes I want to call my BFF and tell her all about my secret life. Why? Who knows, it's just an urge I get every once in a while. No, I don't think she would judge me but I do think she would put 2 + 2 together and realize I've got the hots for her husband!

Sometimes I get paranoid and think people are talking about me on twitter. Ok more than sometimes...often. I don't chime in and get all nasty, I usually just sulk privately.

I am convinced that at some point someone I know will come across either my twitter account or the blog. Wether or not they know it's me and or tell me they found me is yet to be determined. But someday... It's gonna happen

I am scared to go to a swingers club because I'm self conscious that only gross people would be interested and I have a hard time saying no thank you when I think I may hurt someone's feelings. Dumb isn't it?

As I get older I've grown more and more indecisive. I think there are many factors that have led to the steady decline. What's the root cause, I don't know... I can't decide!

Xoxo

The Wife

The Friend - follow up

In case anyone was curious The Friend did not text me last night.

No secret playtime or even any random drunk texts. And, even though I was not under any delusion that he would text (the house and my lady parts weren't even prepared for a first date lol) there was a part of me that was curious. And that means by default a piece of me was disappointed. Not like a girl-eats-a-carton-of-ice-cream-bender kind of disappointed but the "eh, he proved me right :( damn"

So does that mean I would do it I push came to shove?

Hmmm..... We may never know!

However - the night was by no means a bust - The Hubs and I made a video with my new hitachi wand and then fucked until I ran out of cum ;) Damn that man can fuck!!!!

Xoxo

The Wife

The Friend

Even with all of the precautions The Hubs and I take to ensure our vanilla and swinger lives don't cross paths sometimes the lines get blurry...

The Friend of ours is a real friend in our real life. He knows us, he knows our family etc. He has been married or in a LTR for the entire time we have known him... Until recently that is. Yes, I've been attracted to him for a while. But no, I never would have acted on it because of his relationship status(es). Not to say we didn't send the occasional flirt each other's way or an odd drunk text or two but nothing serious and certainly very mild. Until the baseball game.

The Hubs went with the boys of our friends to watch a baseball game. They got their early to tailgate and after a few beers The Hubs was spilling secrets. He not only told the group we were swingers (unsuccessfully I might add - they didn't believe him! lol) he also told The Friend (in private) that if he wasn't attached or married this whole time that I would have invited him home with us by now. 

There was something about that bold moment of telling our secrets that turned me on. And a seed was planted in my flirtatious brain. My flirts definitely stepped up a notch the night I confirmed The Hubs baseball game revelations to The Friend. And in return his flirts have too...which brings us to this weekend. 

A text message conversation began to unfold yesterday that was up several notches on his part. By the end of the night he declared he was sure he was ready to have playtime. I called his bluff and said he could come over tomorrow (tonight) and he should text me when he is free.

Now... I have 100% no doubt he will lose his guts on this and we won't play. The real kicker is I can't decide how I would feel about that. I mean, I talk a big game because my knowledge of this friend says he wouldn't ever go through with it. But I can't help but wonder...

What if...

What if he really did text me, what would I do/say/think? Could I, would I really fuck a real life friend? I go back and forth on hot vs fucked up vs hot vs anxiety producing. Could I relax knowing he was seeing me naked? Or would it be the exciting pay off to the many drunk text flirting build up? What would happen afterward?? I feel confident in my ability to go back to being friends, but would he be able to be comfortable around me again? Is he going to always be thinking I'm for real if I flirt with him? Would our other friends pick up on it all? Will it kill our friendship?

It's an interesting conundrum I often contemplate but never land on what is the right side for me. I'm always curious what The Hubs thinks, sometimes I think he enjoys watching me squirm with a friend and sometimes I wonder if he thinks I would be making a huge mistake but is letting me come to that conclusion on my own. I don't know... so many questions!

Anyone ever fucked a real life friend... did it go well?

The Wife

Question & Answer

Question:

Hi Jane,
I have a question, not about the swinger lifestyle. "I am a slut, not a whore... there is a big difference." A quote from your Waste of Time, July 4, 2011 post. I looked up both words in Webster, basically the same definition. What is your definition of slut vs whore? Just curious. Thanks.

Answer:

This is a good question because this is something that differs for everyone.

Have you ever had a word just not sit well with you? For no real reason it just isn't pleasant to hear it? I have a few, cunt for example, it just rubs me the wrong way. The same goes for whore vs slut.

When I say I'm a slut I think of a sexy woman who loves to fuck for the fun of fucking. Whore makes me feel dirty and not a good dirty! More like for sale or used.

I'm not for sale and I'm not asking for a romance but a little connection goes a long way. To me, that's a whore. Or at least being treated like a whore.

For now, I'm just a proud slut! Thanks for the question!

The Wife

Question & Answer

So far only one question, so here goes...

Question:
I've got one that might fall into the "too personal" category, but I'll ask anyway

You've mentioned before that you're a squirter. In my experience that's something not many women can do and some people aren't turned on by it (not me, I'd like to get between your thighs and have you squirt in my face :-) ).

When you're with others, do you feel the need to "warn" them ahead of time that it's possible that you might squirt?

Answer:
Not too personal at all. It is really hard to offend me! I haven't ever warned anyone before because so far The Hubs has been the only one to get me to that point!

I'm not sure if I'm "difficult" or if I'm shaped super different from other women or I'm subconsciously holding back but so far it hasn't been an issue. However, that said it has almost always come up in conversation before play. So far no one has said anything like uhhh don't do that! Lol

In the meantime The Hubs keeps me going!

The Wife

Ask me anything

I've have been asked if I mind helping someone understand some things about the swinger lifestyle.... The answer is yes, of course!

I may not answer something (or answer to your satisfaction) if it's too personal but I am more than willing to answer what I can.

I realize this lifestyle isn't for everyone and I understand that understanding it from the outside is a challenge! So bring it on readers!

The Wife