Yes and No

Long time no blog... I think you'll understand why shortly. I contemplated talking about this at all but what the heck, in real life there are things that happen that impact your Swinger Lifestyle. This is definitely one of them...

A few weeks ago The Hubs posted the following on Twitter:

We both waited to see if anyone would take the bait... Only one couple was like umm... WTF?!?!

So the question is, am I? Is it?

Yes and No.

Yes, we're expanding our family. We'll welcome another (our last) kid in early February.
No, it is NOT The Friend's baby! We know this for sure even though we did conceive a few days after Round 2.

Does this mean our Swinging is over?

Yes and No.

This is a complicated answer - so try and stay with me. If we had a steady playmate I think both The Hubs and I would be OK continuing our playtime for a while based on how I was feeling etc. However, at the moment the closest thing we have to a steady is The Friend. And, well he doesn't know yet but when he finds out... I'll be back to a Manatee for sure. And who knows if I'll ever return to Mermaid status.

The irony of all ironies is that when you're pregnant sex is even more amazing. At least at the beginning. The Hubs says my pussy is extra ripply (totally made that word up) and in some positions his cock feels like I'm being fucked and using the Hitachi at the same time. WIN. So ironically this would be a great time to play, but that really doesn't seem to be in our cards so it will be a benefit for The Hubs and me to enjoy.

The No comes into play in that we know this is our final kid. I already have a sense of completion about this one. Something I was always wondering if I'd have or if I'd always long for another cute snuggely baby. So I do think that we'll get back to the fun times as time moves on. Plus, if you've ever been to Eyz Wide Shut you know that there certainly isn't an age limit to swinging. My goodness, sometimes me in my mid-thirties is practically infant status. That and after I lose the baby weight I'm getting the boob implants I've always wanted. So um, why not have fun with them??

Do I miss the drinking, the smoking, the excessive fucking?

Yes and No.

When we went to happy hour with our friends last week was it a semi-bummer to not get a nice cocktail, sure! But that is life, this season will pass and I'll have the rest of my life to be a drunk, high slut. I've come to realize that life really is just about seasons. Nothing lasts forever, so not drinking or smoking ganja is just a season of life and this too shall pass so I'm OK with that. Plus, it's a greater good thing, ya know? If it was "just because" then I may be resentful of The Hubs for being able to partake, but this is for a purpose.

So, for now I'm a pregnant slut. So there won't be many new stories coming out of the blog for a while, but I'm sure I have plenty of old material I can hash out. That is, if this post hasn't sent all of my readers running for the hills!

Until next time...

The Wife

Communication

If you get nothing else from my posts on this blog I hope that you understand how important communication between you and your spouse is.

I take pride in how well I think The Hubs and I communicate with each other. Verbally, non-verbally and everything in between we are usually right in sync with each other. But sometimes that means we get lazy. Well, I get lazy. I assume The Hubs will stay in sync. And sometimes it doesn't work out so well.

A few weeks ago we made plans to go to Eyz Wide Shut again. We found out a couple we had casually chatted with were also going. We decided it would be now or never to meet up. (Sometimes when you're both parents you take whatever meeting arrangements you can make work) We made sure everyone knew it was a no-pressure-to-play meeting even if we were in a sex club.

When we met it was good. They were easy to chat with and we hung out for a while. It was, however, very vanilla. They were attractive and there were signs that we were passing their tests too. The downfall? They were super popular! Either it was the biggest coincidence in the world or they go to the club a lot more than they let on because they seemed to know everyone! And eventually we ended up with a third couple hanging out with us.

It stayed vanilla but promising, after all we were in the bar. OK, maybe a little weird, at least in my head, trying to figure out if this was a "go" and if that meant it was now a 6-some? Lots of questions, but I had decided to go with the flow and see where it took me. I went to the rest room and when I returned I found The Hubs standing alone at our table. He explained that they'd gone for some sweets at the buffet. I sat back down not sure if that meant they were coming back or not. The Hubs looked at me and asked if I was ready to go next door. Taking that to mean he was ready I said "sure!" We went next door and never saw the other couples even as we left.

The next day as The Hubs and I were deconstructing the events of the night he asked me why I had been ready to bail on the others?

Huh? Me, I thought you were ready I explained... Yep, it was a total misread on both of our parts and we ended up leaving a potential play. Oops....

We've decided we need an actual code phrase from now on. Even the best communicators can fail and you might just miss out!

The Wife

Assumptions

You know that phrase about what happens when you assume something? Let me tell you, when you're making assumptions about a swinger marriage it is no different.

 

One of the red flags when I was talking to The Newbie Hub was his assumptions about my marriage. He was brand new to the lifestyle so I give him some slack for being completely clueless. Instead I took his assumptions were more a window into his marriage and his life and began to set off alarms in my head. So here are my thoughts on my favorite of his idiotic assumptions.

 

Assumption: I/We need swinging to fill some void we are feeling in our marriage/sex life.

 

Reality: Couldn't be farther from the truth. My particular brand of weird means I get sexually excited being a slut in front of my husband. Doesn't mean The Hubs isn't fulfilling all of my needs, or me his. Makes me think The Hubs and I joking about how your 30-something wife needs more than your almost 50 year old cock can give her wasn't too far from your truth.

 

Assumption: The Hubs and I don't have sex unless we are playing. No shit. He asked me if we had played with anyone since we had met them the first time. I said no, that we hadn't played with anyone in a while. His response was something to the effect of that I had built-up sexual energy to unleash on him due to my lack of opportunity.

 

Reality: Seriously? If you think I'm not fucking The Hubs as well as our play then you're just stupid. In my personal opinion, if you're not having regular sex with your spouse you shouldn't be in the lifestyle to begin with.

 

Assumption: The Hubs would go to extraordinary lengths to attain the ability to fuck any pussy other than mine. "He'd probably drive three states away for some pussy"

 

Reality: Sigh... oh how naive and stupid you are. While The Hubs has his own reasons for enjoying swinging, he is not in anyway starved for pussy. Nor is he so incredibly bored with what he has at home that he would move heaven and earth for a little bit of strange. I mean really?

 

I'm just asking that you think before you speak. If any of the above describes you, please don't email me. If it sounds like things you think about me, The Hubs and our marriage or swingers as a whole, oh please oh please, lose my email address!

 

The Wife