Question & Answer

This is a sticky situation...

Question:

We recently met another couple at a lifestyle club. We haven't played with them together, but we have played with the hub in a MMMFF situation, and I have played with him in one-on-one situation (with the blessing of BOTH spouses). During our one-on-one, they hung out together at the club and talked. Since it was our first full separate room swap, she spent the time reassuring him- telling him how much I loved him and how I wouldn't leave him. She and I have always been very friendly and have even talked about doing girlfriend stuff together (mains-pedis, etc). Before we started doing full swap, she even offered me advice on jealousy. We have even gone out to dinner and a show (no sex!) with the couple- that was the last time we saw them until this weekend at the club. I never am flirty until he is, and when we all went out together I kept my hands on my own husband (not hers!). It seemed everything went well and we received a friendly text the next day saying they had a great time (from her). However, this weekend when we saw them at the club, she was very cold and he told me that she was feeling that I was falling in love with him. There is absolutely nothing inappropriate going on on my part- I love my husband and have for the past 10 years! Our intimacy and sex life has been enhanced by this experience. However, I don't know how to handle this situation. I do know that they played with a past couple where the female became clingy- but I only have her contact info. I don't even have any way to contact him other than when we see each other at the club. I am completely confused by where this came from, and a little heartbroken. While I enjoy having sex and flirting with him, I really like her and value her friendship. We want to keep this couple around- we like them on other levels besides sex- and I don't want to lose a playmate over a concern that doesn't exist.
How can I handle this situation? How would you handle this situation?

Answer:

Keeping in mind this is just an opinion from one Swinger Wife to another, and I'm sorry to say but I don't think this relationship is going to work out for you guys. To me, it sounds like it's possible that you could salvage a friendship with them but that is iffy.

For whatever reason that woman has started to doubt the situation, and in my experiences once someone isn't 100% comfortable it turns to shit. She very well may be a total loon - but as you can imagine once we wives have something in our heads it is so difficult to get it out. Any flirtation will be amplified in her brain and since you're the outsider you'll be blamed even if it is blatantly her husband's doing.

We had an experience with an uncomfortable wife a few months ago. It started out great, with all four of us getting along both vanilla and heavy flirtation. But before we could play she turned cold. We thought she was just shy and kept rolling with the relationship. The first time we played it became obvious that she was uncomfortable with his attraction to me. It didn't help that he was a total moron and thought he should whisper something to me during our playtime. (I was like HUH!?!)  All she saw was him whispering in my ear and you can imagine the jealousy that followed.

She was pretty much an Ice Princess to me from then on. Only warming up about 1/2 way with The Hubs when we played one final time. We cut off communication shortly afterward and I can't say that I've missed them after the way it ended.

Tread lightly, but I think that's a wrap on that one.

Good luck!

The Wife