A few weeks ago The Hubs and I were out with vanilla friends for happy hour and I was chatting with the girls. Somehow one friend asked another if she and her boyfriend had already had "the talk" about their number of sexual partners. Her response was perfect, she said - "I don't think anyone over the age of 30 needs to ever have that conversation. We know we're not the first and let's just leave it at that"...
Good point... especially if you're in an open relationship.
So when {none other than} The Newbie Hub asked how many people we'd been with since we had first met up with him. You know, because we're fucking everyone else all the time. Right....But it did get me thinking. .. what do outsiders think our numbers could be? Especially our few vanilla friends who know about us, do they think we're on our way to Wilt Chamberlain league? And what about all of you, who read my stories.... ever thought about it?
Well, first of all let's not be all Judgey McJudgerton about it, we're all here for the same reason and that's bound to up your numbers from having a monogamous relationship. That's only logic. And I do believe that for the most part fellow swingers are not thinking this way. But... I know two men who know of my lifestyle and I can assure you they have both wondered about this. Neither of these guys is anywhere near virgin status either, and both have for the majority of their knowledge of me thought of me as a "good girl". So I'd imagine their imaginations are running wild.
Ah, if only it were so simple. The reality is potential and permission does not equal opportunity and availability. As in, just because someone may have permission to fuck outside of their marriage doesn't mean it's happening on a regular basis. For you men out there it's basically like a batting average.
We may talk to tons of people online but only a few make it to the instant messenger. From there we weed through them further before anyone gets a phone number (harder to get rid of a texter!) and from that we meet even fewer. Before you know it we're meeting people like The Travelers and The Newbies and guess what kids - we didn't fuck either of them! And quite frankly the ones we have played with have given me so much material that I have been using the same people for a multitude of different blog posts. So I'm going to guess you'd all be over inflating my numbers.
After all, I'm just a sweet little ole Wife in Florida. ;)
The Wife
Folks get so hung up on the trappings of the lifestyle or what constitutes too many, too few, some intangible need. Sometimes well adjusted, loving people just like to add some spice. Live long, love well and be happy. That's what life should be.
ReplyDeleteI of course know my number, as well as Veronica's, and while I've had that conversation with a few friends, I can't imagine getting hung up on it. Whether you've had 4 or 40 partners before me doesn't really matter :-)
ReplyDeleteI don't often bring up numbers because I don't think it's relevant. I keep track myself, because I think names and whatnot are important to know. When someone asks me I often assume it's because they are looking to condense my sexual experiences into something they can put a judgement on. If I know the person and we're having an open conversation about it I might be more willing to throw a number out.
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