Question:I'm not uncomfortable at all with their friendship. I think it's more jealousy than anything. Occasionally, he seems to get super flirty, and I'll get a little irritated by it. He's made it very clear that he wants to relive that experience. Now, I don't really consider myself "vanilla" (I'm under the assumption that vanilla means boring and unadventurous), but I'm not sure I'm ready to watch my wife be plowed by another guy. I've also recently found out that, after meeting him and his wife, they had a mid-coitus dialogue about swapping with my wife and I.
Answer:
First, my apologies for the delayed response, I've been neglecting my blog! Second - don't want you to think I use vanilla in a bad way! To me, vanilla just means non swinger. So, my BFF who is not boring or unadventurous by any means is still vanilla because we don't swing with her - nor does she know about us!
Second, if you asked me (which you didn't really, but apparently I'm going to tell you anyway) it sounds like they're trying to feel your comfort level out. I don't think it's unusual for a swinging couple to talk during sex about other potential playmates, but when they share it with you it makes it more of a testing the water than oh, funny thing about last Tuesday... Ya know? The Hubs and I talk about a few people we know on occasion, but I would certainly never tell them unless I was hoping they'd be up for more fun.
My advice? Keep the dialog going between you and your wife. Make sure you're both talking about what you are and aren't comfortable before you're put in a position you may not care to be in.
The Wife
What's the status of the no show friend? Is it awkward?
ReplyDeleteThanks for the reply! The only reason I took the term "vanilla" as derogatory is because I've seen people use it that way on a swinger site or two (leave the boring sex to the vanillas, etc.)
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, I did ask (just in kind of a roundabout way)! :-) I just thought that if they were trying to feel out a comfort level, maybe they'd say something to me. They know I'm aware of their past with my lady, but the guy only told all that stuff to her. I suppose one could assume that they're under the assumption that she'd tell me, but who knows.
I guess I just feel like I'm not one of the "cool kids", because nothing has been mentioned to me directly. I know they felt that way about her ex, and just kinda thinking maybe I'm grouped in with him in that sense.
Also, thanks for letting me talk your ear off. I appreciate your opinions and insight. (You're also one of the first people I followed on twitter :-D)