Pop goes the Tinder cherry

Well, sort of...

If you've read my last few posts you may recall that we decided to join Tinder to find some new playmates.

It has been interesting to say the least. So far we have seen:

2 childhood friends (one is single one is not!)
1 friend's ex fiance
1 BFFs Hubs
1 Twitter friend
Countless weirdos and so many matches who never respond. (WTF dudes?)

This weekend we finally worked it out to host a new playmate from a match on the app.

In our conversations The Tinder Guy said he had been in a threesome before with a married couple so he understood the lay of the land.

Great! That always makes it easier.

He arrived and looked nervous but fuck, so was I! We went upstairs and he dove in kissing me and fumbling around.

He had given a lot of talk about his oral giving skills so he set to work. I will say that every guy thinks they are the best. Most are overselling it. This guy.... no different. It was forceful and so strange. I honestly do not know how he achieved the feeling he did. It was certainly like no other, just not in a good way.

Needless to say I was ready to get him in another position. When he ended his suck fest to tell me "wow, you're really hard to get off!" I noticed one thing that was not a good sign.

He was not even remotely hard.

Uh. Oh.

Well, only one thing to do... I set to sucking and licking to try and earn my way to a nice hard cock. Except there was no sign of life. Try and try as I may there was no spark and it started to look more and more like it wouldn't happen.

We both reiterated it was not a big deal and I kept trying. We tried different positions, The Hubs participation varied,  anything to try and salvage the night.

Eventually we came to the realization that it wasn't happening and we wrapped up the night.

He apologized profusely. Requested a redo multiple times and then it was over.

So, I guess you could say the Tinder cherry was popped... except we didn't fuck so does it really count?

Also, my pussy is still sore from those oral "skills"...

The Wife

Hypocrite

Have you seen my latest post? The one where I talk about how torn up I was/am about finding my friend (in a monogamous marriage) on Tinder? Anyone else find me to be a complete fucking hypocrite?

I sat this weekend at a dinner table full of my friends balancing the friend who I have just found out is being cheated on by her husband on one side and on the other side was the girlfriend of The Friend. As in the friend who I have fucked a few times - while they were together.

Basically, I realized I am a complete asshole.

I keep trying to figure out why I am so much more bothered by The BFFs Hubs betrayal but with The Friend I was able to justify my part.  Am I really that awful?

Yes I am much closer to one woman than the other but I think what I have decided is the The main difference (with the exception of the fact that one friend has given me orgasms while the other friend has not) is that The Friend has cheated before me and since me. Sadly it wasn't really a shock when it was confirmed he cheated before. We all sort of guessed it anyway.

The BFFs Hubs however, has been a consistent cock block and openly judges others for stepping outside of their marriage. None of our group (except The Friend of course) knows about us yet one night when The Friend had the house to himself The BFFs Hubs blocked another round between me and TF. We pretty much knew what he was doing but kept trying to wait him out. In the end we let him succeed and we left. Immediately after our departure he turned to The Friend and said "You're welcome!"... confirming he was protecting his buddy from being tempted to cheat on his girl.

And now he is on Tinder. Oh how far the mighty have fallen...

I guess I am a hypocrite but I am clearly in good company.

The Wife

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

Nothing like a scandal to bring me back to writing. Well kids I don't know if anyone is reading this anymore but here goes.

A few days ago I found a friend on Tinder. As in a married and (as far as I know) not in an open relationship type of friend. Days later to say it still consumes my thoughts for the majority of the day would be a gross understatement.

Let me start from the beginning... the naughty life with The Hubs has been great but also highly monogamous for a while. For whatever reason we have hit a streak of guys who flake, women who are fake and a whole bunch of not even looking anymore. After a recent no show we decided it was time to try Tinder.

This brings me to this past weekend. There I am swiping through the guys when suddenly my brain registered a face that I knew. A face I knew very well.

I froze.

It felt like someone punched me in the heart. I think if you could measure my heart rate during this you would surely see that my heart stopped. I swear it is true, the absolute shock to see this particular face smiling back at me was a full on assault to my mental capacity to comprehend.

When I was finally able to breath I said to The Hubs "OMG.... I just found The BFFs Hubs on Tinder".

He walked around the corner and the look on his face told me he was also shocked. He walked over to me and looked at my phone as if he had to prove it to himself.

I did what every wife would do and looked him straight in the face and asked

"ok no bullshit did you know about this?"

"Not at all" he replied and I knew he was being honest.

I felt like I was going to throw up.

This is one of our very best friends. Who is married to one of our other very best friends. To my knowledge there is no agreement for an open relationship yet here we were and how the actual fuck do I process this information?

It has been a wide range of emotions since.

Shock: this is the one guy who you would be sure would never cheat. The Hubs says no one is 100% perfect all the time but this one rocked my sense of trust. Hell days later and I am still shocked.

Amusement: I couldn't help but laugh at when in March I found him on snapchat and wondered why. Twitter people and The Hubs said I was being crazy there were tons of explanations. Well who is crazy now??!

Understanding: they do not have a good or even bad sex life it is a horrible sex life. I know this from conversations with both of them over many, many years. They have many factors into it but sexually they just are not compatible. So I do understand that everyone has needs and everyone has a breaking point.

Anger: fuck yea I am mad at him. He is lying and cheating on someone I love. And it makes me so mad that he could/would do this to their family.

Fear: our lives are highly intertwined. A secret of this magnitude will have widespread ripples of consequences. Many of my secrets, The Friend's secrets and who knows what else could come out. Sometimes it just takes one needle on the bottom of the  stack to be pulled and you end up with a disaster.

Curiosity: how much does he do this? What kind of women does he like? Did he see my profile and did he recognize me? Did he swipe right or left? What about that amazingly huge cock you have always heard about? What would he be like in bed? All of these and more have been swirling in my head.

Guilt: hello, I am wondering about what the cock is like on my BFF's husband.

And then repeat. All of it. All day long.

And the one big question is; what do I do with this information?

I am not going to go into the many reasons both pro and con of sharing it with her and or him. I pondered what would I want her to do. What would I do if it was her cheating on him. And what I would want him to do if he recognized me. And in the end  I have decided I am going to do exactly what he would do/is doing with it: absolutely nothing.

I am not going to be the one to blow up multiple lives. I am going to stay out of it and mind my own business. I am not going to tell her and I am also not going to tell him that I know.

That is my plan.

Now I just have to learn to live with it.

The Wife