I realize that women are confusing. For some of that I am sorry. But, I can help! It all boils down to one simple thing; positive attention.
Now, it isn't the same amount of attention for every woman. Some women feel smothered easily, but if you look at the most basic of female-desires they are almost all based on positive attention from their playmate.
Sound too easy? It really is that simple.
If you compliment your wife/girlfriend throughout the day, or bring her flowers, or hold open the door, whatever it is for her - make her feel like you have thought about her all day...it will work to your advantage. The Hubs is a smart man and every once in a while he'll come home with a bag full of new panties for me from Frederick's. It is a win-win, he loves to see my ass in new sexy panties and it makes me feel sexy and confident which in turn benefits him!
Trust me. Try it out. Thank me later.
The swing life should be no different. No, I'm not asking for a date with flowers and candlelight. I actually don't want that from anyone other than The Hubs. But I'm also choosing to believe that my playmate has at least some level of interest in me and is not just there for a free, wet pussy. So it would be nice to think the guy trying to get in my pants was doing so because he thought I was at-the-very-least-somewhat-attractive. I don't know, call crazy but the time I fucked a guy who didn't appear into "me" as much as my pussy it wasn't fun. I got very little from the experience other than a whole lotta self consciousness.
So, my advice? Fake it if you have to. But, make her feel like you think she is HOT, and I'm betting you will be rewarded.